Recently, I was interviewing Paul Hartunian, the master of free publicity, a man who successfully juggles several very different careers. Paul commented:
People don't act because a lot of things are in front of them.
I've gone to lots of seminars where there was so much information you were on information overload. The vast majority of people then froze; they wound up doing nothing.
All this information and all these experts were right there, willing to help the seminar participants do what they want to do, accomplish what they want to accomplish.
They may have been given lots of great products to sell; they were given SO MANY options in that one day that they froze.
Paul's point was that when we're confronted by too many possibilities, we can freeze up.
Trying to decide which of 15 or 20 options to pursue can be frustrating, especially if all of them appear to be good choices.
My granddaddy used to say, "A dog that chases two rabbits won't catch either one." He was trying to get me to realize how important it is to just pick one thing and do it.
Let's take an example that we often see here on the Internet. How many eBooks have you bought within the last six months? Of that number, how many of them tell you how to make money online?
If a book is any good, you'll be impressed; you'll say, "Yeah, I can do this." But then, after a few days, you'll read another really great sales letter, you'll feel that you really, really need the knowledge in this new offering. Then you'll buy yet another eBook, and you'll again be impressed: "Yeah, I can REALLY do THIS.'
This cycle is being repeated over and over every day all around the Internet.
This may have happened to you. I've done it. Lots of people have.
So there you sit with perhaps dozens of books, all good, dozens or even hundreds of affiliate offerings, some excellent, and page after page of website ideas, all interesting.
In fact, you've got so many options that you may not know what to do first.
My granddaddy ran one of the biggest plumbing shops in his town, and when he'd spy one of his men dithering over what to do next, he'd simply say, "Son, you can't do everything first."
And neither can you or I. If all your options are good, then it doesn't really matter which one you choose first. Throw a dart if you have to, but move. Make a decision. Get yourself into motion.
For many people, getting into motion means you'll be stepping into unfamiliar territory, doing things you've never done before. So what? At least it's interesting and exciting. But never terrifying.
If you think starting your very first business is terrifying, you need to think again.
Wrestling a grizzly bear is terrifying. Falling from an airplane without a parachute is terrifying.
But starting a business? Nah... that's not scary; it's just unfamiliar.
And right there we have the main reason most people lock up when they face a long list of options. It's unfamiliar ground, so they think they don't know how to choose. (They do, but they THINK they don't.)
Here's a strategy for taking the terror out of decision-making. Take that long list of options. Say there are 15 items on it, and you've never done any of them before.
Once you've examined all the items on the list, do this: Decide if all the items are REALLY about equal. If there are any that clearly don't measure up, cross those off. You'll still be left with lots of choices.
Let's say you're left with only 10 items on you list.
Take out a new sheet of paper.
Write item number one on it, the first item from your original list.
Okay, that's it. That's your new list of options - just one item.
We've already agreed that all the choices are more or less equal.
So now you've got your action agenda. One item. No more indecision.
Now just go do it.
And those other 9 items? They'll be there waiting when you get done with the first task.
See how easy decision-making can be?
Charles Burke helps people revive their zombie businesses. If you’ve read all the marketing and promo books, but your business is still shambling along, more dead than alive, you’ll want to study the free cover report at http://www.charlesburke.com
How To Pass Psychometric Tests
http://passingpsychometrictests.blogspot.com/
Career Coaching Advice
http://thinkdoctorcareercoaching.co.uk
Please Join This Discussion Group
http://groups.google.co.uk/group/how-to-pass-psychometric-tests
49 Reasons Why You Hold The Key To Your Own Success
http://tdoctor62.50selfhelp.hop.clickbank.net
Monday 9 April 2007
Stop Self Sabotage by Charles Burke
I heard my wife, Shioe, shouting in the other room.
My wife, a quiet, soft spoken lady at all times, never shouts, so this was a curious event. I stepped across the hall into her office to find out more.
She was just hanging up the phone as I entered, and she was pale and visibly shaking.
Before I could ask what was wrong, she volunteered, "That was Mr. Kato. He asked me to speak at an international conference this Saturday (four days away), and there'll be over 300 people from all over the world at that thing. I can't refuse him, but what do I do? I'm petrified. Oh, and the speech has to be in English."
"Well," I offered, "You know that new technique I mentioned the other day? You want to try it?"
That "new technique" is EFT, a method for using the Chinese accupressure points to mechanically rearrange the body's energy pathways and remove "crossed wires." It literally removes the energy from fears.
If you're not familiar with ancient medical practices, you may not have heard about accupressure or accupuncture points. If not, the previous paragraph may sound like so much gibberish. But even if you HAVE heard of them, this latest technique may be seriously pushing the limits of what you're willing to accept.
But back to my story.
I offered to show Shioe the dozen or so points to tap. Yes, tap. No needles, no massaging, just tapping six or seven times on each of a series of points in a certain sequence.
I took her through the one-minute routine two times, and within those two minutes, her breathing slowed, her color returned to normal, and the shaking in her legs disappeared. I asked her how she felt now about speaking at the conference.
"I've got a lot of practicing to do. I'd better get busy."
No more paralysis. No more terror. Only a matter-of-fact eagerness to get started.
And smiles. She was perfectly comfortable with an idea that, minutes earlier, had had her shaking in her socks.
Later I went into her office and found her tapping "to reinforce it, just in case." But still no fear.
That was unarguable proof to me. For as long as I've known Shioe, she has had a STRONG reluctance to speak before a group - any group.
She has done brief speeches in the past, for very small groups of eight or ten, and those were traumatic enough. But this was an international conference on North Korean Refugees to be held in Tokyo, and there would be journalists and representatives from all over the world in attendance.
Then about five days later, while Shioe was away in Tokyo, I received an email from an aunt regarding the antics of a relative of mine. Every time this particular relative decides to "act up," I react by getting angry, frustrated and hyper. It's a long-standing reaction of mine.
At the height of my frustration, I sat down, did a quick round of tapping, and suddenly, in the middle of it, between one breath and the next, I went from major upset to delighted laughter. And I haven't been upset since.
Within seconds I found that I'd gained instant perspective. Now I simply can't quite remember why I was ever so upset. Oh, I still care what happens, and I want the best for that relative, but I'm not immobilized by my reaction to their escapades now. What a marvelous gift.
So what the heck IS this EFT?
Some readers may have already heard of it. But if you haven't, here's a quick backgrounder.
EFT, taught by Gary Craig, gives you a sequence of 12 pressure points (5 on the face, 2 on the body, and 5 on the hand) that can clear away any unresolved tensions connected with particular experiences or fears from your past.
There's also a 13th point on the back of the hand, but it's used between rounds of tapping to balance and engage all the brain's "circuits" equally in the sorting-out process.
If you'd like to get more details, you can find a free 80-page PDF manual at http://www.emofree.com/freestuff.htm.
This manual will give you full instructions and everything you need to start defusing your own fears, phobias and challenges. You'll also find dozens and dozens of case histories there. These case histories outline in graphic form many of the things EFT has already been used for.
They range from a fear of heights to Vietnam vets with long-standing post traumatic stress disorder.
EFT was developed by Gary Craig from earlier work done by Dr. Roger Callahan.
Dr. Callahan, a psychologist with over 40 years of experience, accidentally discovered that tapping on certain accupoints would painlessly and almost instantly remove phobic fears. He developed this into a system he calls TFT -Thought Field Therapy.
EFT is a simplified version that appears to be fully as effective as TFT, but does not require complex application strategies.
EFT simply has you tap on all the pressure points in sequence, rather than trying to determine which ones require the treatment. It takes a few seconds longer to do a full round of tapping, but hey, the long version only takes a minute in total, so why not do 'em all?
But the title of this article mentions stopping self sabotage. What about that?
One of the most important discoveries by Dr. Callahan was what he calls "psychological reversal."
He found that the energy flowing through the body's energy "meridians" can become reversed, as though your batteries had been put in backwards. The worst part? You can't feel whether you're reversed or not.
If you're familiar with muscle testing or kinesiology, you probably already know about this.
When you're psychologically reversed, it does no good to do affirmations.
You say over and over, "I'm getting richer and richer," and what happens is the reverse. All that energy you're feeding into your positive thoughts gets short-circuited into negative results - your batteries are in backwards, remember? Then you end up unwittingly sabotaging all your own best intentions. You don't follow through on things you fully intended to do. You shoot yourself in the foot over and over.
I guess nearly everybody has experienced this. I certainly have. But I never knew WHY it happened. For the longest time I thought there was just something defective with me.
Now I know what causes that to happen.
Even better, thanks to EFT, I also know how to correct it.
There are two spots on your chest and two spots on your hands that you can tap, and if your energy is reversed, they will un-reverse it. (But if you're NOT reversed, tapping them does no harm.)
Un-reversing your energy before you start your inner work will let your energy be directed where you really want it to go
This un-reversing may last for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour, but during that time, you can safely and effectively do your affirmations, meditations, or self-hypnosis suggestions. Or your EFT tapping.
Nobody is quite sure why some people get this reversal more frequently than others, but it IS recognized that some are more prone to it.
This tendency to reverse polarity doesn't really matter now, however, because once you tap to un-reverse, your inner work will be fully effective.
Even better, if you'll consistently un-reverse your polarity a few times a day (no need to get compulsive about it, though), sooner or later your body will catch on to this new pattern and begin staying un-reversed for longer and longer periods.
Here's how you do it.
Use any one of the four points:
* The "karate chop point" on the side of either hand
* The "sore spot" on either side of the upper chest
about 3 to 6 inches (7-15cm) above the nipple
If you use the karate-chop point, tap rather briskly (but never hard enough to hurt) using the first two fingers of the other hand (about 3-4 beats per second) and say:
"Even though I have this (problem, pain or difficulty),
I fully and completely accept myself."
Do that three times in succession, and put some real expression into your statement. Using firm statements is more effective than a flat, emotionless statement.
If you use the "sore spot," you'll rub it round and round rather than tap, but otherwise, the routine is the same.
That's it. Do it three times, then you're ready to do whatever inner work you prefer.
And you'll be putting your energy into the positive aspect of your project. Gone will be the unwitting self sabotage that you've been getting in the past.
How do I know most people have this experience of self sabotage? That's easy. The rare person who never experiences this reversal is accustomed to having things go right for them all the time.
They are so familiar with everything working right, always following through properly, always doing exactly what they intended to do, that they never feel the need to read self-help books, listen to tapes or read newsletters like this. With everything working fine, what is there to fix?
But for all the rest of us mere mortals, this technique is something we've been seeking for years. It gives us a more level playing field in the game of life, and it answers that old question: "What made me DO that?"
Will one or two rounds of EFT instantly clear away every problem, every time? No, it won't. Not every time.
Here's why. Sometimes a problem comes in several pieces. Take my wife's fear of speaking in public, for example. It turned out to be a one-piece fear, and she rid herself of it quickly and easily.
Sometimes, however, that fear may have several aspects. I might be afraid of the idea of speaking in public. I get rid of that, then I find that I'm also afraid of all those eyes looking at me. I do another couple of rounds to get rid of that, and then I discover that I'm also afraid of people laughing at me. I might find lots of different aspects or pieces involved in what I originally thought was one seamless fear.
When that happens, the simple, logical thing to do is just keep knocking them down. Sooner or later, I'll get through all those different aspects of my fear, and then I'll be totally free. No more fear.
Will it stay fixed? In most cases, yes. It lasts.
Now, most people, even if they have several aspects to their problem, don't have more than a handful or so. In some cases, there might be 10 or 12 different pieces. Okay, so it takes more than two minutes to resolve a lifelong fear. Maybe it takes 15 or 20 minutes. Or you might have to work on things for several sessions. So what?
Contrast that with the number of sessions typically involved with traditional therapy.
So what's to lose? Nothing but a little time and effort.
And your fears.
Best of all, this is self-help at its best because you can do it for yourself.
However, you may not be quite sure how to get yourself started. You may feel the need to get help from someone who already knows their way around EFT. If so, go to: {http://www.emofree.com/Practitioners/referralMain.asp}.
There, you'll find links to hundreds of practitioners in 40-some states of the US and in 27 countries around the world.
Can't find a practitioner in your city? No problem. EFT can be done via telephone, so you can easily work with somebody hundreds of miles away, or even in a different country. Distance is absolutely no limitation with EFT.
If you feel like you'd rather start off with someone you already know, I can accept a few phone sessions, but remember, you'd be calling me in Japan. If that's agreeable, drop me an email. I'll be happy to discuss your particular situation with you and settle on a mutually convenient time and other details.
Oh, and my wife's speech?
She tells me it couldn't have gone more smoothly. She flew up to Tokyo, as scheduled, and give her presentation to those 300 people from Europe, the US and Asia. And she never felt a flutter. For the first time in her life, she said she felt absolutely confident while giving a presentation. Total triumph.
Ready for some of that in your own life?
Cheers from sunny Japan,
Charles
~~ CharlesBurke.com ~~
Charles Burke is the author of Command More Luck, the book that shows you why all those things keep happening to you. Learn why "luck" doesn't work anything like the way you've always been told.
The bad news - there's no such thing as luck. The good news - there's something even better. Go to http://www.moreluck.com and learn how you can take command of what people call luck. Start today.
How To Pass Psychometric Tests
http://passingpsychometrictests.blogspot.com/
Career Coaching Advice
http://thinkdoctorcareercoaching.co.uk
Please Join This Discussion Group
http://groups.google.co.uk/group/how-to-pass-psychometric-tests
49 Reasons Why You Hold The Key To Your Own Success
http://tdoctor62.50selfhelp.hop.clickbank.net
My wife, a quiet, soft spoken lady at all times, never shouts, so this was a curious event. I stepped across the hall into her office to find out more.
She was just hanging up the phone as I entered, and she was pale and visibly shaking.
Before I could ask what was wrong, she volunteered, "That was Mr. Kato. He asked me to speak at an international conference this Saturday (four days away), and there'll be over 300 people from all over the world at that thing. I can't refuse him, but what do I do? I'm petrified. Oh, and the speech has to be in English."
"Well," I offered, "You know that new technique I mentioned the other day? You want to try it?"
That "new technique" is EFT, a method for using the Chinese accupressure points to mechanically rearrange the body's energy pathways and remove "crossed wires." It literally removes the energy from fears.
If you're not familiar with ancient medical practices, you may not have heard about accupressure or accupuncture points. If not, the previous paragraph may sound like so much gibberish. But even if you HAVE heard of them, this latest technique may be seriously pushing the limits of what you're willing to accept.
But back to my story.
I offered to show Shioe the dozen or so points to tap. Yes, tap. No needles, no massaging, just tapping six or seven times on each of a series of points in a certain sequence.
I took her through the one-minute routine two times, and within those two minutes, her breathing slowed, her color returned to normal, and the shaking in her legs disappeared. I asked her how she felt now about speaking at the conference.
"I've got a lot of practicing to do. I'd better get busy."
No more paralysis. No more terror. Only a matter-of-fact eagerness to get started.
And smiles. She was perfectly comfortable with an idea that, minutes earlier, had had her shaking in her socks.
Later I went into her office and found her tapping "to reinforce it, just in case." But still no fear.
That was unarguable proof to me. For as long as I've known Shioe, she has had a STRONG reluctance to speak before a group - any group.
She has done brief speeches in the past, for very small groups of eight or ten, and those were traumatic enough. But this was an international conference on North Korean Refugees to be held in Tokyo, and there would be journalists and representatives from all over the world in attendance.
Then about five days later, while Shioe was away in Tokyo, I received an email from an aunt regarding the antics of a relative of mine. Every time this particular relative decides to "act up," I react by getting angry, frustrated and hyper. It's a long-standing reaction of mine.
At the height of my frustration, I sat down, did a quick round of tapping, and suddenly, in the middle of it, between one breath and the next, I went from major upset to delighted laughter. And I haven't been upset since.
Within seconds I found that I'd gained instant perspective. Now I simply can't quite remember why I was ever so upset. Oh, I still care what happens, and I want the best for that relative, but I'm not immobilized by my reaction to their escapades now. What a marvelous gift.
So what the heck IS this EFT?
Some readers may have already heard of it. But if you haven't, here's a quick backgrounder.
EFT, taught by Gary Craig, gives you a sequence of 12 pressure points (5 on the face, 2 on the body, and 5 on the hand) that can clear away any unresolved tensions connected with particular experiences or fears from your past.
There's also a 13th point on the back of the hand, but it's used between rounds of tapping to balance and engage all the brain's "circuits" equally in the sorting-out process.
If you'd like to get more details, you can find a free 80-page PDF manual at http://www.emofree.com/freestuff.htm.
This manual will give you full instructions and everything you need to start defusing your own fears, phobias and challenges. You'll also find dozens and dozens of case histories there. These case histories outline in graphic form many of the things EFT has already been used for.
They range from a fear of heights to Vietnam vets with long-standing post traumatic stress disorder.
EFT was developed by Gary Craig from earlier work done by Dr. Roger Callahan.
Dr. Callahan, a psychologist with over 40 years of experience, accidentally discovered that tapping on certain accupoints would painlessly and almost instantly remove phobic fears. He developed this into a system he calls TFT -Thought Field Therapy.
EFT is a simplified version that appears to be fully as effective as TFT, but does not require complex application strategies.
EFT simply has you tap on all the pressure points in sequence, rather than trying to determine which ones require the treatment. It takes a few seconds longer to do a full round of tapping, but hey, the long version only takes a minute in total, so why not do 'em all?
But the title of this article mentions stopping self sabotage. What about that?
One of the most important discoveries by Dr. Callahan was what he calls "psychological reversal."
He found that the energy flowing through the body's energy "meridians" can become reversed, as though your batteries had been put in backwards. The worst part? You can't feel whether you're reversed or not.
If you're familiar with muscle testing or kinesiology, you probably already know about this.
When you're psychologically reversed, it does no good to do affirmations.
You say over and over, "I'm getting richer and richer," and what happens is the reverse. All that energy you're feeding into your positive thoughts gets short-circuited into negative results - your batteries are in backwards, remember? Then you end up unwittingly sabotaging all your own best intentions. You don't follow through on things you fully intended to do. You shoot yourself in the foot over and over.
I guess nearly everybody has experienced this. I certainly have. But I never knew WHY it happened. For the longest time I thought there was just something defective with me.
Now I know what causes that to happen.
Even better, thanks to EFT, I also know how to correct it.
There are two spots on your chest and two spots on your hands that you can tap, and if your energy is reversed, they will un-reverse it. (But if you're NOT reversed, tapping them does no harm.)
Un-reversing your energy before you start your inner work will let your energy be directed where you really want it to go
This un-reversing may last for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour, but during that time, you can safely and effectively do your affirmations, meditations, or self-hypnosis suggestions. Or your EFT tapping.
Nobody is quite sure why some people get this reversal more frequently than others, but it IS recognized that some are more prone to it.
This tendency to reverse polarity doesn't really matter now, however, because once you tap to un-reverse, your inner work will be fully effective.
Even better, if you'll consistently un-reverse your polarity a few times a day (no need to get compulsive about it, though), sooner or later your body will catch on to this new pattern and begin staying un-reversed for longer and longer periods.
Here's how you do it.
Use any one of the four points:
* The "karate chop point" on the side of either hand
* The "sore spot" on either side of the upper chest
about 3 to 6 inches (7-15cm) above the nipple
If you use the karate-chop point, tap rather briskly (but never hard enough to hurt) using the first two fingers of the other hand (about 3-4 beats per second) and say:
"Even though I have this (problem, pain or difficulty),
I fully and completely accept myself."
Do that three times in succession, and put some real expression into your statement. Using firm statements is more effective than a flat, emotionless statement.
If you use the "sore spot," you'll rub it round and round rather than tap, but otherwise, the routine is the same.
That's it. Do it three times, then you're ready to do whatever inner work you prefer.
And you'll be putting your energy into the positive aspect of your project. Gone will be the unwitting self sabotage that you've been getting in the past.
How do I know most people have this experience of self sabotage? That's easy. The rare person who never experiences this reversal is accustomed to having things go right for them all the time.
They are so familiar with everything working right, always following through properly, always doing exactly what they intended to do, that they never feel the need to read self-help books, listen to tapes or read newsletters like this. With everything working fine, what is there to fix?
But for all the rest of us mere mortals, this technique is something we've been seeking for years. It gives us a more level playing field in the game of life, and it answers that old question: "What made me DO that?"
Will one or two rounds of EFT instantly clear away every problem, every time? No, it won't. Not every time.
Here's why. Sometimes a problem comes in several pieces. Take my wife's fear of speaking in public, for example. It turned out to be a one-piece fear, and she rid herself of it quickly and easily.
Sometimes, however, that fear may have several aspects. I might be afraid of the idea of speaking in public. I get rid of that, then I find that I'm also afraid of all those eyes looking at me. I do another couple of rounds to get rid of that, and then I discover that I'm also afraid of people laughing at me. I might find lots of different aspects or pieces involved in what I originally thought was one seamless fear.
When that happens, the simple, logical thing to do is just keep knocking them down. Sooner or later, I'll get through all those different aspects of my fear, and then I'll be totally free. No more fear.
Will it stay fixed? In most cases, yes. It lasts.
Now, most people, even if they have several aspects to their problem, don't have more than a handful or so. In some cases, there might be 10 or 12 different pieces. Okay, so it takes more than two minutes to resolve a lifelong fear. Maybe it takes 15 or 20 minutes. Or you might have to work on things for several sessions. So what?
Contrast that with the number of sessions typically involved with traditional therapy.
So what's to lose? Nothing but a little time and effort.
And your fears.
Best of all, this is self-help at its best because you can do it for yourself.
However, you may not be quite sure how to get yourself started. You may feel the need to get help from someone who already knows their way around EFT. If so, go to: {http://www.emofree.com/Practitioners/referralMain.asp}.
There, you'll find links to hundreds of practitioners in 40-some states of the US and in 27 countries around the world.
Can't find a practitioner in your city? No problem. EFT can be done via telephone, so you can easily work with somebody hundreds of miles away, or even in a different country. Distance is absolutely no limitation with EFT.
If you feel like you'd rather start off with someone you already know, I can accept a few phone sessions, but remember, you'd be calling me in Japan. If that's agreeable, drop me an email. I'll be happy to discuss your particular situation with you and settle on a mutually convenient time and other details.
Oh, and my wife's speech?
She tells me it couldn't have gone more smoothly. She flew up to Tokyo, as scheduled, and give her presentation to those 300 people from Europe, the US and Asia. And she never felt a flutter. For the first time in her life, she said she felt absolutely confident while giving a presentation. Total triumph.
Ready for some of that in your own life?
Cheers from sunny Japan,
Charles
~~ CharlesBurke.com ~~
Charles Burke is the author of Command More Luck, the book that shows you why all those things keep happening to you. Learn why "luck" doesn't work anything like the way you've always been told.
The bad news - there's no such thing as luck. The good news - there's something even better. Go to http://www.moreluck.com and learn how you can take command of what people call luck. Start today.
How To Pass Psychometric Tests
http://passingpsychometrictests.blogspot.com/
Career Coaching Advice
http://thinkdoctorcareercoaching.co.uk
Please Join This Discussion Group
http://groups.google.co.uk/group/how-to-pass-psychometric-tests
49 Reasons Why You Hold The Key To Your Own Success
http://tdoctor62.50selfhelp.hop.clickbank.net
How to Achieve
How to Achieve TEN-hood
Take any office. Go in, watch the workers for a while, and track how much gets done by each individual.
A few will never seem to get around to anything, unless forced to. Most of the employees will do what's placed in front of them, and not much more. But a select few will quickly get their job done, do it superbly, then jump to do more. They're the self starters.
This points out a truth we already know: some people are simply more effective than others.
Consultant Robert Middleton ( http://www.actionplan.com ) rates this effectiveness on a scale of one to ten. In an article titled "Attracting TENS," he says:
"In working with clients over several years, I developed a scale that predicted their success. It wasn't based on how good their overall business model was, or the years of training they had or degrees they had accumulated.
"It was based on the amount of base metal they turned into gold.
"The base metal was my consulting and coaching input. The gold was what they made of it. My favorite clients were those who took the "ONE" that I gave them and turned it into "TEN."
"I would give them some ideas about speaking in public and by the next session they had researched every speaking venue in their area, had created their speaker's package and were working on the outline for their second presentation.
"If I helped them with a networking plan, they had gone to three meetings, made five contacts and had arranged one-on-one meetings with several prospects.
"These kind of people, the TENS, don't need to be told how to do anything. They just need to be told what and pointed in the right direction. They are so resourceful that they just automatically pick up ideas and turn them into plans that get implemented.
"Then there were the clients who took ten from me and came back with one.
"In a session together we would outline the structure of an article and how to write it for maximum impact. They would come to the next session with three vague bullet points, usually grammatically incorrect."
The eager beavers who never need to be told twice (because they are incredibly easy to start) are the TENS. The goof-offs, slackers and terminally unambitious are the ONES.
Okay, those are the basics. Now... how can we use this for our benefit?
First thing I suggest -- forget where your boss ranks. And your dumb brother-in-law, and that infuriating guy from down in accounting. They're not our concern today.
Instead, scary as it may be, let's take a look at you and your own effectiveness.
We can safely assume you're not yet a ten. Why not? Because if you WERE a ten, you wouldn't be reading a newsletter about motivation. You'd be busy moving heaven and earth around... and making it look easy.
But cheer up. I'm not a ten either, except on a very good day, so let's see what we can do to raise our scores.
Have you ever read a book on time management? (I mean, more than the first 35 pages.) If you got more than halfway through, did you implement any of the suggestions? Did they last at least a month?
I imagine you've dipped into multiple books and seminars on self improvement. We've all gone through a bunch of them, right? Well, out of all those great, exciting ideas, have you ever tried to put any of them into practice, and after a while, just stopped?
If you have, that's the famous "hey, this is harder than I thought" syndrome. You start with some real enthusiasm, but it gradually slows down and soon you're left trying to do high power, efficient stuff without any wind in your sails. Your momentum just peters out.
Well, don't blush -- this is universal (except for those few tens). Beside, we're going to work on raising our personal effectiveness.
But no matter how much trouble you've had from waning enthusiasm, there is one other pattern that has impoverished your life far more seriously, although you may not even be aware of it.
I'm talking about the "I could never do THAT" response.
You know what I mean... it's that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize the next step in your business requires you to do something that you think is way over your head.
Maybe your business needs new clients, but you've never been comfortable with networking and selling. And every time you try to introduce yourself, it seems like nobody listens, or you get put-offs. So now, when you think of promoting, you just feel overwhelmed -- ("Hey, I just can't do that.")
Or maybe you need to work up some serious publicity, but you don't know how to put together a press kit. And you're sure nobody would be interested in your story. And besides, you don't have time to do the detailed thinking and planning it would require. And you're not at all sure about doing interviews, and it's just all too big. Way too big -- (so "I can't do that.")
Out of all the stopping that gets done in the world, 99.99% of it is caused by these feelings. Mental blocks. The "I can't do that" feeling.
Unfortunately, mental blocks almost always feels like the truth to us. But there is a way to identify them and to get past them.
Example: I often send out mailings to introduce my readers to new products. Sometimes those products are less expensive, say in the $40 or $50 range.
But occasionally I send out mailings for a high ticket item, costing $1,000 or more. And every time I do, I'll get a few emails from outraged readers complaining about price. Addressing me as though I've insulted them.
Now stop and think for a bit. I publish a newsletter on stretching your thinking -- learning to see bigger possibilities for yourself. And as part of that service, I give my readers a chance to consider bigger, more costly packages than they may be used to buying. I count that as part of my service in getting readers to think bigger.
When I get one of those letters complaining about high price, I know two things. First, my sales letter was extremely effective. It got them wanting the product I recommended. Second, I know that their desire for that product ran headfirst into their mental limits and triggered severe frustration. A mental block: ("I can't have THAT. That's too expensive for me. I don't have that much money.")
On the one hand, it's good to remember that with every email you send out, you reveal more about yourself than you realize. (One more good reason to stop and think before you fire off a flame to somebody.) I've done a few impulsive flames myself (and always, always regretted them), so I know how easy it is to write before you think.
On the other hand, you can learn to recognize these blocking reactions for what they are: automatic (non-thinking) reactions. And once you recognize them, you'll be able to choose a response that's more appropriate than frustration, anger, resentment or helplessness.
Any feeling that tells you:
No, I can't have that
No, I can't do that
No, that's not for me
No, that's too difficult
No, I'm just not that kind of person
No, my spouse (parent, children, neighbors) would laugh
No, I'm too young (old, fat, plain, tall, unqualified)
Notice a pattern here? They all tell you no, don't they? So what can we conclude about blocking patterns? They're there to stop you, to keep you inside your Known Zone. Of course they're trying to keep you safe, in a simple-minded kind of way, but it IS possible to learn a new way of working with those feelings.
Last year I enrolled in an online class that required several hours of work per week. About two or three weeks into the class, I started feeling strong agitation.
There was just too much work, I told myself. I was too busy for all this nonsense, I said. Besides, it wasn't really important to get it done, or so I tried to convince myself.
I experienced continuing waves of resentment, anger, frustration, urges to just quit.
Fortunately, I know the tricks our minds play to keep us inside the fence of our Known Zone, so as soon as I noticed the patterns, I reframed them by assigning new values to the feelings.
I constantly reminded myself that the discomfort meant that I was outside my comfort zone (Known Zone) and was out in the discomfort zone where I was supposed to be.
Outside comfort zone = discomfort zone = discomfort. Great! That's exactly where you go to grow.
Everything was going exactly according to plan. I was able to put up with the turbulent emotions because I wanted what the class offered, and I had already decided to pay the price.
And that's how you recognize the mental limits that block your progress. You watch for signs of discomfort. And when they appear, you constantly remind yourself that this is what you planned from the start.
So what bearing does this have on personal effectiveness?
Simple -- the only thing keeping us from moving quickly from task to task like those highly effective tens is a constant cascade of feelings telling us that we can't do, we can't have, we can't accomplish, and being burdened with all that extra work just isn't appropriate to us.
Okay, we've learned to recognize the symptom of a mental block. Feelings of agitation and frustration weighing us down or holding us back.
Now how do we get past them?
This is going to sound TOO simple, but here it is. You stop looking at the limits and start looking past them.
Although this sounds simple, I guarantee if you're spending a lot of time worrying about anything, you're not doing what I just said. You've still got your eyes on the problem. You still believe the problem is "true" and that it absolutely cannot be beaten.
To get past a problem like that, you've got to stop using logic. You need illogic here.
If your business needs $10,000 or your doors will close, stop trying to figure it out. You've been figuring for months and it's gotten you nowhere.
Instead, get relaxed, settle your mind, then claim the $10,000 you need. Say things like, "I have no idea where the money is coming from, but I see it in my hands on such-and-such a day. It's here. I see it in my mind's eye, and I trust that I receive it, exactly as I see in my mind."
Now, so far this is more or less standard visualization and affirmation technique. But that's not where the real power lies. This step is where you plant the seed and define the results you expect.
But the real power comes a little later.
When you wake up at two or three in the morning obsessing, or you can't eat dinner because your stomach is all clenched up, and you're having a panic attack because you DON'T know where that money is coming from, this is when you bear down and assert your belief.
When you're in the midst of fear and uncertainty and panic, and you fight for the right to hold that image in your head, no matter what, and you defend your right to believe, no matter how illogical it may be -- that's where the real power is. That's when you earn the right to receive what you visualize. Some people call this mental toughness, and it CAN be developed.
Resisting your fear and lethargy, persisting through the doubt, the hesitation and the uncertainty, that's where all the power is, and that's also where you learn to become more personally effective.
In fact, that's what eventually turns you into a ten.
Cheers from sunny Japan,
Charles
~~ CharlesBurke.com ~~
Charles Burke is the author of Command More Luck, the book that shows you why all those things keep happening to you. Learn why "luck" doesn't work anything like the way you've always been told.
The bad news - there's no such thing as luck. The good news - there's something even better. Go to http://www.moreluck.com and learn how you can take command of what people call luck. Start today.
How To Pass Psychometric Tests
http://passingpsychometrictests.blogspot.com/
Career Coaching Advice
http://thinkdoctorcareercoaching.co.uk
Please Join This Discussion Group
http://groups.google.co.uk/group/how-to-pass-psychometric-tests
49 Reasons Why You Hold The Key To Your Own Success
http://tdoctor62.50selfhelp.hop.clickbank.net
Take any office. Go in, watch the workers for a while, and track how much gets done by each individual.
A few will never seem to get around to anything, unless forced to. Most of the employees will do what's placed in front of them, and not much more. But a select few will quickly get their job done, do it superbly, then jump to do more. They're the self starters.
This points out a truth we already know: some people are simply more effective than others.
Consultant Robert Middleton ( http://www.actionplan.com ) rates this effectiveness on a scale of one to ten. In an article titled "Attracting TENS," he says:
"In working with clients over several years, I developed a scale that predicted their success. It wasn't based on how good their overall business model was, or the years of training they had or degrees they had accumulated.
"It was based on the amount of base metal they turned into gold.
"The base metal was my consulting and coaching input. The gold was what they made of it. My favorite clients were those who took the "ONE" that I gave them and turned it into "TEN."
"I would give them some ideas about speaking in public and by the next session they had researched every speaking venue in their area, had created their speaker's package and were working on the outline for their second presentation.
"If I helped them with a networking plan, they had gone to three meetings, made five contacts and had arranged one-on-one meetings with several prospects.
"These kind of people, the TENS, don't need to be told how to do anything. They just need to be told what and pointed in the right direction. They are so resourceful that they just automatically pick up ideas and turn them into plans that get implemented.
"Then there were the clients who took ten from me and came back with one.
"In a session together we would outline the structure of an article and how to write it for maximum impact. They would come to the next session with three vague bullet points, usually grammatically incorrect."
The eager beavers who never need to be told twice (because they are incredibly easy to start) are the TENS. The goof-offs, slackers and terminally unambitious are the ONES.
Okay, those are the basics. Now... how can we use this for our benefit?
First thing I suggest -- forget where your boss ranks. And your dumb brother-in-law, and that infuriating guy from down in accounting. They're not our concern today.
Instead, scary as it may be, let's take a look at you and your own effectiveness.
We can safely assume you're not yet a ten. Why not? Because if you WERE a ten, you wouldn't be reading a newsletter about motivation. You'd be busy moving heaven and earth around... and making it look easy.
But cheer up. I'm not a ten either, except on a very good day, so let's see what we can do to raise our scores.
Have you ever read a book on time management? (I mean, more than the first 35 pages.) If you got more than halfway through, did you implement any of the suggestions? Did they last at least a month?
I imagine you've dipped into multiple books and seminars on self improvement. We've all gone through a bunch of them, right? Well, out of all those great, exciting ideas, have you ever tried to put any of them into practice, and after a while, just stopped?
If you have, that's the famous "hey, this is harder than I thought" syndrome. You start with some real enthusiasm, but it gradually slows down and soon you're left trying to do high power, efficient stuff without any wind in your sails. Your momentum just peters out.
Well, don't blush -- this is universal (except for those few tens). Beside, we're going to work on raising our personal effectiveness.
But no matter how much trouble you've had from waning enthusiasm, there is one other pattern that has impoverished your life far more seriously, although you may not even be aware of it.
I'm talking about the "I could never do THAT" response.
You know what I mean... it's that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize the next step in your business requires you to do something that you think is way over your head.
Maybe your business needs new clients, but you've never been comfortable with networking and selling. And every time you try to introduce yourself, it seems like nobody listens, or you get put-offs. So now, when you think of promoting, you just feel overwhelmed -- ("Hey, I just can't do that.")
Or maybe you need to work up some serious publicity, but you don't know how to put together a press kit. And you're sure nobody would be interested in your story. And besides, you don't have time to do the detailed thinking and planning it would require. And you're not at all sure about doing interviews, and it's just all too big. Way too big -- (so "I can't do that.")
Out of all the stopping that gets done in the world, 99.99% of it is caused by these feelings. Mental blocks. The "I can't do that" feeling.
Unfortunately, mental blocks almost always feels like the truth to us. But there is a way to identify them and to get past them.
Example: I often send out mailings to introduce my readers to new products. Sometimes those products are less expensive, say in the $40 or $50 range.
But occasionally I send out mailings for a high ticket item, costing $1,000 or more. And every time I do, I'll get a few emails from outraged readers complaining about price. Addressing me as though I've insulted them.
Now stop and think for a bit. I publish a newsletter on stretching your thinking -- learning to see bigger possibilities for yourself. And as part of that service, I give my readers a chance to consider bigger, more costly packages than they may be used to buying. I count that as part of my service in getting readers to think bigger.
When I get one of those letters complaining about high price, I know two things. First, my sales letter was extremely effective. It got them wanting the product I recommended. Second, I know that their desire for that product ran headfirst into their mental limits and triggered severe frustration. A mental block: ("I can't have THAT. That's too expensive for me. I don't have that much money.")
On the one hand, it's good to remember that with every email you send out, you reveal more about yourself than you realize. (One more good reason to stop and think before you fire off a flame to somebody.) I've done a few impulsive flames myself (and always, always regretted them), so I know how easy it is to write before you think.
On the other hand, you can learn to recognize these blocking reactions for what they are: automatic (non-thinking) reactions. And once you recognize them, you'll be able to choose a response that's more appropriate than frustration, anger, resentment or helplessness.
Any feeling that tells you:
No, I can't have that
No, I can't do that
No, that's not for me
No, that's too difficult
No, I'm just not that kind of person
No, my spouse (parent, children, neighbors) would laugh
No, I'm too young (old, fat, plain, tall, unqualified)
Notice a pattern here? They all tell you no, don't they? So what can we conclude about blocking patterns? They're there to stop you, to keep you inside your Known Zone. Of course they're trying to keep you safe, in a simple-minded kind of way, but it IS possible to learn a new way of working with those feelings.
Last year I enrolled in an online class that required several hours of work per week. About two or three weeks into the class, I started feeling strong agitation.
There was just too much work, I told myself. I was too busy for all this nonsense, I said. Besides, it wasn't really important to get it done, or so I tried to convince myself.
I experienced continuing waves of resentment, anger, frustration, urges to just quit.
Fortunately, I know the tricks our minds play to keep us inside the fence of our Known Zone, so as soon as I noticed the patterns, I reframed them by assigning new values to the feelings.
I constantly reminded myself that the discomfort meant that I was outside my comfort zone (Known Zone) and was out in the discomfort zone where I was supposed to be.
Outside comfort zone = discomfort zone = discomfort. Great! That's exactly where you go to grow.
Everything was going exactly according to plan. I was able to put up with the turbulent emotions because I wanted what the class offered, and I had already decided to pay the price.
And that's how you recognize the mental limits that block your progress. You watch for signs of discomfort. And when they appear, you constantly remind yourself that this is what you planned from the start.
So what bearing does this have on personal effectiveness?
Simple -- the only thing keeping us from moving quickly from task to task like those highly effective tens is a constant cascade of feelings telling us that we can't do, we can't have, we can't accomplish, and being burdened with all that extra work just isn't appropriate to us.
Okay, we've learned to recognize the symptom of a mental block. Feelings of agitation and frustration weighing us down or holding us back.
Now how do we get past them?
This is going to sound TOO simple, but here it is. You stop looking at the limits and start looking past them.
Although this sounds simple, I guarantee if you're spending a lot of time worrying about anything, you're not doing what I just said. You've still got your eyes on the problem. You still believe the problem is "true" and that it absolutely cannot be beaten.
To get past a problem like that, you've got to stop using logic. You need illogic here.
If your business needs $10,000 or your doors will close, stop trying to figure it out. You've been figuring for months and it's gotten you nowhere.
Instead, get relaxed, settle your mind, then claim the $10,000 you need. Say things like, "I have no idea where the money is coming from, but I see it in my hands on such-and-such a day. It's here. I see it in my mind's eye, and I trust that I receive it, exactly as I see in my mind."
Now, so far this is more or less standard visualization and affirmation technique. But that's not where the real power lies. This step is where you plant the seed and define the results you expect.
But the real power comes a little later.
When you wake up at two or three in the morning obsessing, or you can't eat dinner because your stomach is all clenched up, and you're having a panic attack because you DON'T know where that money is coming from, this is when you bear down and assert your belief.
When you're in the midst of fear and uncertainty and panic, and you fight for the right to hold that image in your head, no matter what, and you defend your right to believe, no matter how illogical it may be -- that's where the real power is. That's when you earn the right to receive what you visualize. Some people call this mental toughness, and it CAN be developed.
Resisting your fear and lethargy, persisting through the doubt, the hesitation and the uncertainty, that's where all the power is, and that's also where you learn to become more personally effective.
In fact, that's what eventually turns you into a ten.
Cheers from sunny Japan,
Charles
~~ CharlesBurke.com ~~
Charles Burke is the author of Command More Luck, the book that shows you why all those things keep happening to you. Learn why "luck" doesn't work anything like the way you've always been told.
The bad news - there's no such thing as luck. The good news - there's something even better. Go to http://www.moreluck.com and learn how you can take command of what people call luck. Start today.
How To Pass Psychometric Tests
http://passingpsychometrictests.blogspot.com/
Career Coaching Advice
http://thinkdoctorcareercoaching.co.uk
Please Join This Discussion Group
http://groups.google.co.uk/group/how-to-pass-psychometric-tests
49 Reasons Why You Hold The Key To Your Own Success
http://tdoctor62.50selfhelp.hop.clickbank.net
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
