To have a brilliant career isn’t just about being really good or clever at your job. It's far more than that.
It's about how you behave at work, who you talk to, how you carry yourself, the confidence you exude, the attitude and mindset you have towards yourself and your career.
Are you getting regular promotions at work?
Do you stand out at work?
Do people regularly ask and value your advice or opinion?
Would you say you are the best of your peers?
Do you regularly get recognised for your work?
Would you like to be asked stand in for your manager when he/she is away?
Would you like to be more assertive in meetings and be able say what you think?
This course is all about achieving these and much more.
When you complete the six modules you will transform yourself into someone who is in total control of their career, someone who stands out from the crowd and someone has influence in their organisation – all of which means that you really will progress in your career. You will identify where you are headed in your career, what you need to do and how you need to behave to get there.
When you transform yourself in this way your career will just take off.
You will not be one of the thousands of people who are working long hours but getting nowhere. You won’t be one of those people who only just manage to cope at work, never getting the interesting work or the promotion. You won’t be waiting for opportunities to come to you – instead you’ll be creating them all the time because you will be in control of your career.
Great careers don’t just happen. They require planning, work and action and a bit of luck.
So let’s build that amazing career!
Saturday 29 September 2007
What's Holding You Back?
1. A Limited Perspective
Your vision of yourself, your life and what's possible is either narrow and rigid or broad and flexible. Imagining what you'd love to do and immediately dismissing it as 'fantasy' is an indication of the former.
2. A Lack of Imagination
Appreciating your talents, acknowledging your expertise is one thing. Using your imagination to put these to their fullest use requires you to think inventively. Making yourself useful and your service invaluable requires you to think, think, think.
3. A Lack of Courage
All acts of initiative require courage. Stepping back from the challenge of moving out of your comfort zone may be cowardly, but comfortable. Generating courage to act in spite of your fear, apprehension, anxiety, self-doubt is the only alternative.
4. A Lack of Action
Bright ideas, enthusiasm and adrenaline are one thing. Following through and taking action something else altogether. Unfortunately, I can almost spot the people in a workshop who are unlikely to do what they need to do and take action.
5. A Need for Approval
Worrying about what others may think of you is powerful enough to keep you chained to a dead-end job, loveless relationship or living in the wrong place for you. Do not underestimate the pull of your tribe to conform to a particular way of living. A fear of failure or success is all to do with winning or losing other's approval. Think about it.
Your vision of yourself, your life and what's possible is either narrow and rigid or broad and flexible. Imagining what you'd love to do and immediately dismissing it as 'fantasy' is an indication of the former.
2. A Lack of Imagination
Appreciating your talents, acknowledging your expertise is one thing. Using your imagination to put these to their fullest use requires you to think inventively. Making yourself useful and your service invaluable requires you to think, think, think.
3. A Lack of Courage
All acts of initiative require courage. Stepping back from the challenge of moving out of your comfort zone may be cowardly, but comfortable. Generating courage to act in spite of your fear, apprehension, anxiety, self-doubt is the only alternative.
4. A Lack of Action
Bright ideas, enthusiasm and adrenaline are one thing. Following through and taking action something else altogether. Unfortunately, I can almost spot the people in a workshop who are unlikely to do what they need to do and take action.
5. A Need for Approval
Worrying about what others may think of you is powerful enough to keep you chained to a dead-end job, loveless relationship or living in the wrong place for you. Do not underestimate the pull of your tribe to conform to a particular way of living. A fear of failure or success is all to do with winning or losing other's approval. Think about it.
I Ignited My Self-belief!
The area I focus on most with my coaching clients is self belief. This is the foundation of a great life and once you have self belief you really can achieve anything in life.
As Fiona says “ Strong self belief is what separates Masters from the masses, exceptional human beings from the average and charismatic leaders from followers.”
Why am I telling you this?
Well, last week I renewed my own self-belief – I practiced what I preach and the results were so amazing I just had to put pen to paper. Last weekend I took part in a 30-mile charity walk in the Lake District. This walk included a climb to a peak 800 metres above sea level, which is a good day’s walk for most people. We decided to do this plus another 26 miles!
Up until last Friday I was scared and if anybody had allowed me to pull out of the walk I would have. I had done no training and just could not imagine completing the walk. Anyway the chance to pull out never came so Saturday morning at 7.30am we began the walk. The first twelve miles were fine and I was coping ok until we hit the big climb.
Wanting to Quit
As we began the ascent my legs turned to lead and I just couldn’t move. I had no energy and I kept looking up at the peak thinking I just would not make it. I really wanted to quit.
Then I kicked in my positive attitude and said to myself that I would complete the walk and began to imagine the feeling of finishing. I began visualising telling all my friends and family of my achievement and eliminated the negative thoughts of pain and failure. I placed a bet on myself that I would finish and from that moment I became focussed.
I stopped thinking of the next 18 miles but instead just focussed on the next fifty steps. If I could complete the next fifty steps I would treat myself to a 30 second rest. And this continued for the next nine hours forty-five minutes – at exactly ten o’clock that evening after fourteen and a half hours I crossed the finish line.
Focus and Belief
It was an incredible feeling. I had never completed something so big in terms of endurance and the sense of achievement was just amazing. It made me believe that I can achieve anything I want to - I just need to put my mind to it, focus and believe I can do it. At work all this week I have been super confident and that is all from this one experience.
That’s how powerful self belief is.
Hetal
As Fiona says “ Strong self belief is what separates Masters from the masses, exceptional human beings from the average and charismatic leaders from followers.”
Why am I telling you this?
Well, last week I renewed my own self-belief – I practiced what I preach and the results were so amazing I just had to put pen to paper. Last weekend I took part in a 30-mile charity walk in the Lake District. This walk included a climb to a peak 800 metres above sea level, which is a good day’s walk for most people. We decided to do this plus another 26 miles!
Up until last Friday I was scared and if anybody had allowed me to pull out of the walk I would have. I had done no training and just could not imagine completing the walk. Anyway the chance to pull out never came so Saturday morning at 7.30am we began the walk. The first twelve miles were fine and I was coping ok until we hit the big climb.
Wanting to Quit
As we began the ascent my legs turned to lead and I just couldn’t move. I had no energy and I kept looking up at the peak thinking I just would not make it. I really wanted to quit.
Then I kicked in my positive attitude and said to myself that I would complete the walk and began to imagine the feeling of finishing. I began visualising telling all my friends and family of my achievement and eliminated the negative thoughts of pain and failure. I placed a bet on myself that I would finish and from that moment I became focussed.
I stopped thinking of the next 18 miles but instead just focussed on the next fifty steps. If I could complete the next fifty steps I would treat myself to a 30 second rest. And this continued for the next nine hours forty-five minutes – at exactly ten o’clock that evening after fourteen and a half hours I crossed the finish line.
Focus and Belief
It was an incredible feeling. I had never completed something so big in terms of endurance and the sense of achievement was just amazing. It made me believe that I can achieve anything I want to - I just need to put my mind to it, focus and believe I can do it. At work all this week I have been super confident and that is all from this one experience.
That’s how powerful self belief is.
Hetal
Get A Winning Mindset
1. Believe in Destiny
Throughout history exceptional individuals have felt the hand of destiny guiding their success. When Churchill was called upon to lead Britain through the 2nd World War, after 10 years in retirement, he felt his destiny unfolding. This was what he had been born to do and he maintained that he had dreamt of such a time as a young boy.
Similarly, when Jonny Wilkinson scored the winning drop goal in the World Cup final against Australia, he looked remarkably calm and unruffled. When interviewed afterwards he said, ‘I have been practising those types of kicks in training since I was five or six.’ Johnny Wilkinson cannot have escaped a feeling of destiny in that incredible moment.
You must come to feel that you are manifesting your destiny in your life. Feel that you are destined to do what you are doing, that there is a path unfolding before you, that is yours and yours alone. This is an intensely private and personal feeling between you and your God. To discuss this with others would be to expose you to possible ridicule and undermine your conviction.
2. Dedicate your Life to Winning
Winning must become the all-consuming passion of your life. Winners have a hunger and dedication that separates them from the quarter-finalists. The new Wimbledon ladies champion, 17 year old, Maria Sharapova embodies this hunger and dedication,
‘It really comes naturally to fight. I’ve always been a competitor…I wanted to play against girls, boys, older, younger, whatever – and I wanted to win.’
Leaving Siberia at the age of 5 to come to tennis academy in Florida, Maria’s entire life has been dedicated to winning. Preparing to face defending champion Serena Williams on Saturday, she was not in the least overwhelmed, ‘it doesn’t matter who I play. I’m just going out and believing in myself that I can win.’ Five times Olympic Gold medallist, Steve Redgrave, had this same single-mindedness and focus, admitting that he was away from his family for most weekends during his 13 years of competing. Johnny Wilkinson practises 365 days of the year, including Christmas Day.
No one works harder than Madonna to remain the Queen of Pop. After nearly 20 years in the limelight, she’s back, better than ever with her Re-Invention tour. When asked in 1984 what she hoped to accomplish, she answered, ‘to rule the world.’ At 45, she is the most successful female artist of all time and this is her most ambitious tour yet, playing to 50 venues worldwide. To get ready she has been rehearsing 12 hours a day. Madonna is neither the finest singer nor dancer in the world but dedication and single mindedness have made her the most successful in the world. Fittingly, she signs off communiqués on her web site, ‘don’t forget to fight to make your dreams come true.’
Ask yourself whether you are prepared to make the sacrifices required to go all the way. Are you hungry enough to want to win more than anything else in your life? Do not underestimate the sacrifices you will have to make. Ordinary mortals will see you as obsessive, but unlike ordinary mortals, you will go on and win.
3. Have a Higher Purpose
Enshrine your life with a Higher Purpose. Personal ambition for your own personal fulfilment will not inspire you to true greatness. Outstanding winners have a noble purpose that drives them on, to succeed for a more worthy cause than their own individual glory.
When Croats Goran Ivanisevic and Mario Ancic play at Wimbledon, you are in no doubt they are playing to uplift the spirits of their small war-torn nation.
In his inspiring autobiography, ‘It’s Not About The Bike’, sporting legend Lance Armstrong talked of surviving cancer and chemotherapy to emerge with a sense of purpose and mission that he’d never had before’ I had a new sense of purpose, and it had nothing to do with my recognition and exploits on a bike…I wanted to tell people, “Fight like hell, just like I did.”
Just sixteen months after Armstrong was discharged from hospital, he entered the Tour de France, a race famed for its gruelling intensity, and won, in the fastest time ever.
4. You Deserve to Win
Before you embark on any great challenge, whether it’s the finals at Wimbledon, seeking promotion in your career, or asking someone to marry you, ask yourself this question, ‘Do I deserve this?’
Unless you are utterly convinced of your own deservedness and worthiness, you will not be 100% committed to your own success. Until you are totally persuaded that you deserve to win, you cannot do justice to your cause
British actress Emily Watson has forged a successful Hollywood career as well as acclaimed stage roles. Shortly after she graduated from drama school, her friend, the playwright, Mark Ravenhill, asked her about her ambitions. She spoke of her aspirations and Mark then asked, ‘Do you think you deserve this?’ Mark says, ‘She looked into the distance and said very calmly, “Yes, I do. I’ve trained, I’ve worked and I think I do deserve that.”
Run a check and clear up any hidden doubts about your deservedness. You may be surprised to discover that, deep down, you feel your opponent deserves to win, have that promotion, more than you. Provide yourself with inspiring reasons to leave you feeling that you truly deserve to win. Perhaps you got up at 5.30 in the mornings to practise your sport while everyone else slept; perhaps you know the work and contribution you add to the organisation you work for. Whatever your situation, generate a deep down feeling of deservedness as you set out to win.
5. Believe you can win
There must be no doubt in your mind that you can win. When Tim Henman was asked recently whether he really believed he had the mental strength to win at Wimbledon, he replied, ‘I’ve been asking myself that same question for 28 years.’ This is not the mindset of a winner.
To win, at anything in life, losing weight, running your own business, the Wimbledon title, you must believe it is entirely possible. It is self-defeating, pure sabotage to attempt anything while questioning your ability to pull it off.
John McEnroe understands this instinctively and this is what he said about England's inability to win at the game we invented, ‘It's in people's heads. There's this curse, this mentality with English people that they just can't win... Self-belief is incredibly important. In fact, it's everything.’
When England went to the World Cup in 2002, did they go to win? Did they believe they could win? It would appear not. When interviewed immediately after their defeat to Brazil in the quarterfinals, Beckham said the team had expected to get through to the quarterfinals and having done so, were satisfied. With this attitude, they never stood a chance of beating Brazil, regarded as the best team in the world, even though the score was 1-1 at half time, with the Brazil team one man short.
6. Use Telepathy
You are communicating your thoughts and feelings – telepathically, to those around you. It is vital that you grasp the power of telepathy and use it to your advantage. Your opponent will read your resolve or lack of it without you having to say a word. Consider the impact of an entire team, collectively communicating their fear of the other team.
Slay your fear, doubts and uncertainties; otherwise you make it virtually impossible to win. Compose yourself to convey certainty, self-assurance and total conviction in your will to win. Ensure that you have not put the other player or team on a pedestal, seeing them as the best in the world or out of your league or you will find it impossible to convey anything other than fear and submission. The game will be over before it begins.
Give yourself sound reasons to exude confidence and fearlessness. Take control of what you are communicating to the opposition.
7. Defy your Limitations
Challenge your limits by doing the ‘impossible’. For example, walking on hot coals is one sure way to push the boundaries of what you believe is possible. Fire walking involves bare feet, burning hot coals and a superior command of the mind. Present yourself with a monumental challenge to overcome and you’ll stretch yourself beyond the limits and imagination of the average person. Never forget the example of Roger Bannister in defying the limitations of his age, when experts predicted that the human heart and lungs would burst under the pressure of running a mile under four minutes.
Richard Branson was continually set challenges by his mother.
‘When I was four years old, she stopped the car a few miles from our house and made me find my own way home across the fields.’
Before he reached his 12th birthday, his mother sent him off to cycle to Bournemouth – fifty miles away, to stay with a relative. Mission accomplished, he returned home, ‘I do remember walking into the kitchen like a conquering hero, feeling tremendously proud of my marathon bike ride.’
It is no wonder that he grew up to become the country’s most imaginative, resourceful and successful entrepreneurs.
8. Do you have a Fear of Success?
We’re familiar with a fear of failure, but a fear of success is just as real. Our British culture is often ambivalent about overt success, often condemning successful individuals for their success, branding them bigheaded or having lost touch with their roots. It is virtually impossible not to soak up this collective wariness about outstanding success. Root out your underlying thoughts around success to ensure you are entirely comfortable about joining the ranks of the uber-successful.
Complete these two statements with the first five answers that spring to mind;
A fear I have of being successful is …
Successful people are…
If you have anything other than pure enthusiasm for the notion of success, you have work to do. Reprogramme your outlook with positive statements regarding success, convincing yourself that it is a fine and noble state.
Additionally, you may have become comfortable with never quite making it. If you have a pattern of coming close to your goal, but never quite winning or achieving what you really want, you are in a comfort zone.
Break out of this pattern by setting yourself one target and insisting that you win through, whether it’s a 30-mile charity walk, dropping 10 pounds or giving up coffee for a week. Do something that gives you the experience of winning and feeling that you can achieve what you really want and put your mind to.
9. You Are NOT a Loser
Never, ever brand yourself ‘a loser.’
Otherwise, you render your chances of winning virtually nil. No one can condemn you as a loser unless you allow them to.
Look at the example of Paula Radcliffe, who went through a period of underachieving, which came to a head at the World championships in Canada three years ago. As she crossed the finishing line of the 10,000 metres coming in 4th, she was met by her outraged husband and coach, Gary, and had a blazing row with him in front of millions.
Since then, Paula Radcliffe has turned her career around, breaking world records and personal bests and will soon represent us at the Olympics in Athens. Had she or her husband branded her a loser, she could never have recovered to make this comeback.
Michelle Mone, the glamorous entrepreneur behind Ultimo lingerie, grew up in a tenement in the East End of Glasgow. She has battled with legal proceedings from competitors and her life was put in danger during a car-jacking when new designs were stolen. ‘A lot of my competitors look down on me and think who the hell is she. In business I am the most confident person in the world. I feel I can take any of them on any day. I thrive on that; them putting me down, thinking that I must be stupid, having left school at 15. Oh, I love a challenge. ‘
Retail tycoon, Philip Green, in the news recently for his attempts to buy Marks & Spencer, is known as ‘the man with the Midas Touch’. However, his first dealings saw one company go bust, another wound up with debts of £239,000, and a third go into voluntary liquidation. We can assume that he learnt invaluable lessons from these early experiences to make him Britain’s fourth wealthiest man, worth £3.5 billion.
Do not waste precious energy or time wallowing in self-pity. Patch up your disappointment, learn fast and apply the lessons, so you are better than ever. Refuse to see yourself as the runner-up, and employ your new tactics to win Gold next time. All great winners lose on the way up.
10. Stay true to you
Winning and success bring their own challenges. To maintain your success, you will need to build a strong character and great personal integrity and avoid the pitfalls of a superstar lifestyle.
There can be no doubt that the recent stress and turmoil in David Beckham’s private life has affected his ability to focus on football. Beckham is rumoured to be going through an identity crisis saying ‘I don’t know who I am anymore.’
The only way to avoid a crisis such as Beckham may now be going through is never to lose sight of the real you. Remind yourself what your real values and priorities are. Be rigorous with the company you keep, knowing that many people will be drawn to you because of your success. Do not depend on public approval to define who you are or make you feel good about yourself.
Just now, public opinion has turned against David Beckham, and he will need to re-evaluate and reinforce for himself who he really is. Define who you are and want to be, clarify your personal values and create your own code of ethics. Set high standards and work to maintain them. Then, you will never doubt who you are and your value as a person.
Throughout history exceptional individuals have felt the hand of destiny guiding their success. When Churchill was called upon to lead Britain through the 2nd World War, after 10 years in retirement, he felt his destiny unfolding. This was what he had been born to do and he maintained that he had dreamt of such a time as a young boy.
Similarly, when Jonny Wilkinson scored the winning drop goal in the World Cup final against Australia, he looked remarkably calm and unruffled. When interviewed afterwards he said, ‘I have been practising those types of kicks in training since I was five or six.’ Johnny Wilkinson cannot have escaped a feeling of destiny in that incredible moment.
You must come to feel that you are manifesting your destiny in your life. Feel that you are destined to do what you are doing, that there is a path unfolding before you, that is yours and yours alone. This is an intensely private and personal feeling between you and your God. To discuss this with others would be to expose you to possible ridicule and undermine your conviction.
2. Dedicate your Life to Winning
Winning must become the all-consuming passion of your life. Winners have a hunger and dedication that separates them from the quarter-finalists. The new Wimbledon ladies champion, 17 year old, Maria Sharapova embodies this hunger and dedication,
‘It really comes naturally to fight. I’ve always been a competitor…I wanted to play against girls, boys, older, younger, whatever – and I wanted to win.’
Leaving Siberia at the age of 5 to come to tennis academy in Florida, Maria’s entire life has been dedicated to winning. Preparing to face defending champion Serena Williams on Saturday, she was not in the least overwhelmed, ‘it doesn’t matter who I play. I’m just going out and believing in myself that I can win.’ Five times Olympic Gold medallist, Steve Redgrave, had this same single-mindedness and focus, admitting that he was away from his family for most weekends during his 13 years of competing. Johnny Wilkinson practises 365 days of the year, including Christmas Day.
No one works harder than Madonna to remain the Queen of Pop. After nearly 20 years in the limelight, she’s back, better than ever with her Re-Invention tour. When asked in 1984 what she hoped to accomplish, she answered, ‘to rule the world.’ At 45, she is the most successful female artist of all time and this is her most ambitious tour yet, playing to 50 venues worldwide. To get ready she has been rehearsing 12 hours a day. Madonna is neither the finest singer nor dancer in the world but dedication and single mindedness have made her the most successful in the world. Fittingly, she signs off communiqués on her web site, ‘don’t forget to fight to make your dreams come true.’
Ask yourself whether you are prepared to make the sacrifices required to go all the way. Are you hungry enough to want to win more than anything else in your life? Do not underestimate the sacrifices you will have to make. Ordinary mortals will see you as obsessive, but unlike ordinary mortals, you will go on and win.
3. Have a Higher Purpose
Enshrine your life with a Higher Purpose. Personal ambition for your own personal fulfilment will not inspire you to true greatness. Outstanding winners have a noble purpose that drives them on, to succeed for a more worthy cause than their own individual glory.
When Croats Goran Ivanisevic and Mario Ancic play at Wimbledon, you are in no doubt they are playing to uplift the spirits of their small war-torn nation.
In his inspiring autobiography, ‘It’s Not About The Bike’, sporting legend Lance Armstrong talked of surviving cancer and chemotherapy to emerge with a sense of purpose and mission that he’d never had before’ I had a new sense of purpose, and it had nothing to do with my recognition and exploits on a bike…I wanted to tell people, “Fight like hell, just like I did.”
Just sixteen months after Armstrong was discharged from hospital, he entered the Tour de France, a race famed for its gruelling intensity, and won, in the fastest time ever.
4. You Deserve to Win
Before you embark on any great challenge, whether it’s the finals at Wimbledon, seeking promotion in your career, or asking someone to marry you, ask yourself this question, ‘Do I deserve this?’
Unless you are utterly convinced of your own deservedness and worthiness, you will not be 100% committed to your own success. Until you are totally persuaded that you deserve to win, you cannot do justice to your cause
British actress Emily Watson has forged a successful Hollywood career as well as acclaimed stage roles. Shortly after she graduated from drama school, her friend, the playwright, Mark Ravenhill, asked her about her ambitions. She spoke of her aspirations and Mark then asked, ‘Do you think you deserve this?’ Mark says, ‘She looked into the distance and said very calmly, “Yes, I do. I’ve trained, I’ve worked and I think I do deserve that.”
Run a check and clear up any hidden doubts about your deservedness. You may be surprised to discover that, deep down, you feel your opponent deserves to win, have that promotion, more than you. Provide yourself with inspiring reasons to leave you feeling that you truly deserve to win. Perhaps you got up at 5.30 in the mornings to practise your sport while everyone else slept; perhaps you know the work and contribution you add to the organisation you work for. Whatever your situation, generate a deep down feeling of deservedness as you set out to win.
5. Believe you can win
There must be no doubt in your mind that you can win. When Tim Henman was asked recently whether he really believed he had the mental strength to win at Wimbledon, he replied, ‘I’ve been asking myself that same question for 28 years.’ This is not the mindset of a winner.
To win, at anything in life, losing weight, running your own business, the Wimbledon title, you must believe it is entirely possible. It is self-defeating, pure sabotage to attempt anything while questioning your ability to pull it off.
John McEnroe understands this instinctively and this is what he said about England's inability to win at the game we invented, ‘It's in people's heads. There's this curse, this mentality with English people that they just can't win... Self-belief is incredibly important. In fact, it's everything.’
When England went to the World Cup in 2002, did they go to win? Did they believe they could win? It would appear not. When interviewed immediately after their defeat to Brazil in the quarterfinals, Beckham said the team had expected to get through to the quarterfinals and having done so, were satisfied. With this attitude, they never stood a chance of beating Brazil, regarded as the best team in the world, even though the score was 1-1 at half time, with the Brazil team one man short.
6. Use Telepathy
You are communicating your thoughts and feelings – telepathically, to those around you. It is vital that you grasp the power of telepathy and use it to your advantage. Your opponent will read your resolve or lack of it without you having to say a word. Consider the impact of an entire team, collectively communicating their fear of the other team.
Slay your fear, doubts and uncertainties; otherwise you make it virtually impossible to win. Compose yourself to convey certainty, self-assurance and total conviction in your will to win. Ensure that you have not put the other player or team on a pedestal, seeing them as the best in the world or out of your league or you will find it impossible to convey anything other than fear and submission. The game will be over before it begins.
Give yourself sound reasons to exude confidence and fearlessness. Take control of what you are communicating to the opposition.
7. Defy your Limitations
Challenge your limits by doing the ‘impossible’. For example, walking on hot coals is one sure way to push the boundaries of what you believe is possible. Fire walking involves bare feet, burning hot coals and a superior command of the mind. Present yourself with a monumental challenge to overcome and you’ll stretch yourself beyond the limits and imagination of the average person. Never forget the example of Roger Bannister in defying the limitations of his age, when experts predicted that the human heart and lungs would burst under the pressure of running a mile under four minutes.
Richard Branson was continually set challenges by his mother.
‘When I was four years old, she stopped the car a few miles from our house and made me find my own way home across the fields.’
Before he reached his 12th birthday, his mother sent him off to cycle to Bournemouth – fifty miles away, to stay with a relative. Mission accomplished, he returned home, ‘I do remember walking into the kitchen like a conquering hero, feeling tremendously proud of my marathon bike ride.’
It is no wonder that he grew up to become the country’s most imaginative, resourceful and successful entrepreneurs.
8. Do you have a Fear of Success?
We’re familiar with a fear of failure, but a fear of success is just as real. Our British culture is often ambivalent about overt success, often condemning successful individuals for their success, branding them bigheaded or having lost touch with their roots. It is virtually impossible not to soak up this collective wariness about outstanding success. Root out your underlying thoughts around success to ensure you are entirely comfortable about joining the ranks of the uber-successful.
Complete these two statements with the first five answers that spring to mind;
A fear I have of being successful is …
Successful people are…
If you have anything other than pure enthusiasm for the notion of success, you have work to do. Reprogramme your outlook with positive statements regarding success, convincing yourself that it is a fine and noble state.
Additionally, you may have become comfortable with never quite making it. If you have a pattern of coming close to your goal, but never quite winning or achieving what you really want, you are in a comfort zone.
Break out of this pattern by setting yourself one target and insisting that you win through, whether it’s a 30-mile charity walk, dropping 10 pounds or giving up coffee for a week. Do something that gives you the experience of winning and feeling that you can achieve what you really want and put your mind to.
9. You Are NOT a Loser
Never, ever brand yourself ‘a loser.’
Otherwise, you render your chances of winning virtually nil. No one can condemn you as a loser unless you allow them to.
Look at the example of Paula Radcliffe, who went through a period of underachieving, which came to a head at the World championships in Canada three years ago. As she crossed the finishing line of the 10,000 metres coming in 4th, she was met by her outraged husband and coach, Gary, and had a blazing row with him in front of millions.
Since then, Paula Radcliffe has turned her career around, breaking world records and personal bests and will soon represent us at the Olympics in Athens. Had she or her husband branded her a loser, she could never have recovered to make this comeback.
Michelle Mone, the glamorous entrepreneur behind Ultimo lingerie, grew up in a tenement in the East End of Glasgow. She has battled with legal proceedings from competitors and her life was put in danger during a car-jacking when new designs were stolen. ‘A lot of my competitors look down on me and think who the hell is she. In business I am the most confident person in the world. I feel I can take any of them on any day. I thrive on that; them putting me down, thinking that I must be stupid, having left school at 15. Oh, I love a challenge. ‘
Retail tycoon, Philip Green, in the news recently for his attempts to buy Marks & Spencer, is known as ‘the man with the Midas Touch’. However, his first dealings saw one company go bust, another wound up with debts of £239,000, and a third go into voluntary liquidation. We can assume that he learnt invaluable lessons from these early experiences to make him Britain’s fourth wealthiest man, worth £3.5 billion.
Do not waste precious energy or time wallowing in self-pity. Patch up your disappointment, learn fast and apply the lessons, so you are better than ever. Refuse to see yourself as the runner-up, and employ your new tactics to win Gold next time. All great winners lose on the way up.
10. Stay true to you
Winning and success bring their own challenges. To maintain your success, you will need to build a strong character and great personal integrity and avoid the pitfalls of a superstar lifestyle.
There can be no doubt that the recent stress and turmoil in David Beckham’s private life has affected his ability to focus on football. Beckham is rumoured to be going through an identity crisis saying ‘I don’t know who I am anymore.’
The only way to avoid a crisis such as Beckham may now be going through is never to lose sight of the real you. Remind yourself what your real values and priorities are. Be rigorous with the company you keep, knowing that many people will be drawn to you because of your success. Do not depend on public approval to define who you are or make you feel good about yourself.
Just now, public opinion has turned against David Beckham, and he will need to re-evaluate and reinforce for himself who he really is. Define who you are and want to be, clarify your personal values and create your own code of ethics. Set high standards and work to maintain them. Then, you will never doubt who you are and your value as a person.
Five Steps to Great Communication
1. First Level Listening
Notice how often you put your own interpretation on what somebody says to you. For example if your friend says “I don’t want to go to the cinema this evening,” does it mean that they don’t want to spend time with you?
Notice how many times a day you decide what other people mean by what they say rather than really listening to what they have said.
2. Second Level Listening
Just listen to what the other person says. Make no judgements whatsoever. Acknowledge your understanding of what they have said – using our above example you may simply say “so you don’t want to go to the cinema this evening.”
Even though it may sound like you are parroting them, they will actually feel heard and they’ll have the opportunity to expand on what they do want to do or why they don’t want to go to the cinema. This then opens up the conversation between you.
3. Listen for the emotion
Another way of listening at the second level is to listen for the emotion. Does the other person sound tired, irritated, pleased, cross, curious or surprised? Acknowledge the emotion by say “you sound tired” and then leave an opening for them to respond and take the conversation further.
They will feel heard and know you are trying to understand them. Don’t worry if you get the emotion wrong, they will tell you how exactly how they feel and you can continue from there.
4. Do not attack, blame or judge the other person
If they say they don’t want to go to the cinema, don’t jump in with “typical of you, you never want to do anything.” Your friend’s ears will just fall off and he or she will not hear anything else you have to say
5. Don’t be a passive communicator
Once you understand and have clarified what the other person has said, go back with what you would like to have happen and start the process all over again. Relationships are not meant to be one-sided.
Notice how often you put your own interpretation on what somebody says to you. For example if your friend says “I don’t want to go to the cinema this evening,” does it mean that they don’t want to spend time with you?
Notice how many times a day you decide what other people mean by what they say rather than really listening to what they have said.
2. Second Level Listening
Just listen to what the other person says. Make no judgements whatsoever. Acknowledge your understanding of what they have said – using our above example you may simply say “so you don’t want to go to the cinema this evening.”
Even though it may sound like you are parroting them, they will actually feel heard and they’ll have the opportunity to expand on what they do want to do or why they don’t want to go to the cinema. This then opens up the conversation between you.
3. Listen for the emotion
Another way of listening at the second level is to listen for the emotion. Does the other person sound tired, irritated, pleased, cross, curious or surprised? Acknowledge the emotion by say “you sound tired” and then leave an opening for them to respond and take the conversation further.
They will feel heard and know you are trying to understand them. Don’t worry if you get the emotion wrong, they will tell you how exactly how they feel and you can continue from there.
4. Do not attack, blame or judge the other person
If they say they don’t want to go to the cinema, don’t jump in with “typical of you, you never want to do anything.” Your friend’s ears will just fall off and he or she will not hear anything else you have to say
5. Don’t be a passive communicator
Once you understand and have clarified what the other person has said, go back with what you would like to have happen and start the process all over again. Relationships are not meant to be one-sided.
From Vision To Action
Does your company have a vision of its future? Does your company attract committed, inspired people who are working towards a common goal? Is your company built to last?
If you said "yes" to the above, then I'll bet you have a fabulous vision for the future of your company, which is based on a core ideology that all your people buy into.
If you said "no" then I'll bet you have a team of people who are probably good at what they do, but are not as enthusiastic as they could be about the company they work for.
Focus
Without a strong focused vision that gives your company direction and serves as enduring promise for the future it is unlikely your people will be motivated to work towards a common objective. Not only that, but if your vision is not based on a core ideology, a set of values that your people can buy into, you’ll find it difficult to sustain an inspired workforce.
A Powerful Vision...
Will create a shared purpose within the organisation
Will generate commitment and meaning in people's work
Will stimulate improvement by always working towards it
Is a guide to decision making
Both corporate organisations and small to medium sized business are realising that productivity does not necessarily depend on remuneration or environment.
It is now clearer than ever that sustaining a happy and effective work force depends on how they are acknowledged, fulfilled and valued by their employees. However, even more than this there is something else that cannot be overlooked.
Values
It doesn't matter how much the company provides, unless each individual understands their own personal values - their own rules for their lives and is able to align those personal values with those of the companies they work for, they will never be able to meet the needs of their organisation.
If they can't meet the needs of their organisation they will lose motivation and lose their company valuable business. The bottom line is that productivity pays the salaries but without a cohesive team of people who are able to uniquely express their talents at work and buy into the vision of the company, stress and absenteeism becomes "par for the course" and results in an uncertain and unstable workforce.
Research over the past five years has proven that a well-conceived vision based on core values and a core purpose can transform an organisation and its people. Based on this premise our fabulous programme, Vision to Action has been created.
From Vision to Action
Vision to Action is totally practical programme tailored specifically to each individual company. We work with large corporate, medium sized businesses and small teams to help define a solid foundation of values from which a desired vision for the future of your company is created. The results are an inspired motivated and focused organisation that produces outstanding results from every individual who can align themselves with the company's vision.
The programme shows you how to
Identify Your Core Ideology
Develop Your Vision
Decide on a Communication Strategy
Implement the Vision
Maintain the Vision
I recently worked with Barbara Stopher from The Bottom Line Consultancy to create her core ideology for the company and discover her unique vision for its future. Once this was established, my brief was to create "buy in" from her team in a way, which allowed them to use their own unique strengths and talents and align the company’s values and vision with their own personal values and vision. Barbara takes it from here….
"Just wanted to thank you for the introduction to Francine. We had already made a good connection on the telephone but it all gelled when we met for the first time yesterday and had two really good sessions - a one to one in the morning and then my team in the afternoon.
We have managed to do so much in the short time we've been working together. I know my own values and life purpose statement and we have a vision and mission for the business. My team are well on the way to discovering their own values and life purposes and there seems a strong buy-in to the way ahead for the consultancy.
Francine is a pleasure to work with! She is friendly and relaxed but is always professional and positive."
Barbara Stopher
www.bottomlineconsultancy.co.uk
IPR 2004 Excellence Award Winner - Outstanding Achievement by a Small Consultancy
We can achieve the same results for you. If you want a fast track route to mastering and managing your vision and reap the benefits of a core ideology that inspires and motivates your team, contact fiona@fionaharrold.com or francine@fionaharrold.com and let us take your company from Vision to Action.
If you said "yes" to the above, then I'll bet you have a fabulous vision for the future of your company, which is based on a core ideology that all your people buy into.
If you said "no" then I'll bet you have a team of people who are probably good at what they do, but are not as enthusiastic as they could be about the company they work for.
Focus
Without a strong focused vision that gives your company direction and serves as enduring promise for the future it is unlikely your people will be motivated to work towards a common objective. Not only that, but if your vision is not based on a core ideology, a set of values that your people can buy into, you’ll find it difficult to sustain an inspired workforce.
A Powerful Vision...
Will create a shared purpose within the organisation
Will generate commitment and meaning in people's work
Will stimulate improvement by always working towards it
Is a guide to decision making
Both corporate organisations and small to medium sized business are realising that productivity does not necessarily depend on remuneration or environment.
It is now clearer than ever that sustaining a happy and effective work force depends on how they are acknowledged, fulfilled and valued by their employees. However, even more than this there is something else that cannot be overlooked.
Values
It doesn't matter how much the company provides, unless each individual understands their own personal values - their own rules for their lives and is able to align those personal values with those of the companies they work for, they will never be able to meet the needs of their organisation.
If they can't meet the needs of their organisation they will lose motivation and lose their company valuable business. The bottom line is that productivity pays the salaries but without a cohesive team of people who are able to uniquely express their talents at work and buy into the vision of the company, stress and absenteeism becomes "par for the course" and results in an uncertain and unstable workforce.
Research over the past five years has proven that a well-conceived vision based on core values and a core purpose can transform an organisation and its people. Based on this premise our fabulous programme, Vision to Action has been created.
From Vision to Action
Vision to Action is totally practical programme tailored specifically to each individual company. We work with large corporate, medium sized businesses and small teams to help define a solid foundation of values from which a desired vision for the future of your company is created. The results are an inspired motivated and focused organisation that produces outstanding results from every individual who can align themselves with the company's vision.
The programme shows you how to
Identify Your Core Ideology
Develop Your Vision
Decide on a Communication Strategy
Implement the Vision
Maintain the Vision
I recently worked with Barbara Stopher from The Bottom Line Consultancy to create her core ideology for the company and discover her unique vision for its future. Once this was established, my brief was to create "buy in" from her team in a way, which allowed them to use their own unique strengths and talents and align the company’s values and vision with their own personal values and vision. Barbara takes it from here….
"Just wanted to thank you for the introduction to Francine. We had already made a good connection on the telephone but it all gelled when we met for the first time yesterday and had two really good sessions - a one to one in the morning and then my team in the afternoon.
We have managed to do so much in the short time we've been working together. I know my own values and life purpose statement and we have a vision and mission for the business. My team are well on the way to discovering their own values and life purposes and there seems a strong buy-in to the way ahead for the consultancy.
Francine is a pleasure to work with! She is friendly and relaxed but is always professional and positive."
Barbara Stopher
www.bottomlineconsultancy.co.uk
IPR 2004 Excellence Award Winner - Outstanding Achievement by a Small Consultancy
We can achieve the same results for you. If you want a fast track route to mastering and managing your vision and reap the benefits of a core ideology that inspires and motivates your team, contact fiona@fionaharrold.com or francine@fionaharrold.com and let us take your company from Vision to Action.
Develop A Can-Do Attitude
One of our most challenging – and most destructive - habits is a great tendency to focus on what we can't do rather than what we can.
It's a habit that can creep up on us and ambush us, eating away at our confidence and stopping us in our tracks.
It's also one of the most pernicious habits for stifling our creativity and personal development.
Diana's story
Take one of my clients – Diana - a vibrant, smart and creative woman who wanted to grow her fledgling business. Diana had some fantastic ideas and heaps of energy, but where she was stuck was in how to get more clients. In particular, she had a huge block around selling her services. "I can't do it. I hate it. I never know what to say. I feel so stupid."
She was adept at focusing on what she couldn't do, and bringing up memories – evidence - to back up that she couldn't... memories, for instance, of embarrassing cold calls and boring networking events that achieved nothing but a hefty hit to her self-esteem.
Shifting focus
What Diana needed to do was shift her focus from what she couldn't do onto what she could do. She needed to stop the habit of chastising herself for her shortcomings and start a new habit of nurturing her strengths. She needed to develop a can-do attitude.
Coaching helped her to focus on her strengths and begin to develop that essential attitude.
It's a habit that can creep up on us and ambush us, eating away at our confidence and stopping us in our tracks.
It's also one of the most pernicious habits for stifling our creativity and personal development.
Diana's story
Take one of my clients – Diana - a vibrant, smart and creative woman who wanted to grow her fledgling business. Diana had some fantastic ideas and heaps of energy, but where she was stuck was in how to get more clients. In particular, she had a huge block around selling her services. "I can't do it. I hate it. I never know what to say. I feel so stupid."
She was adept at focusing on what she couldn't do, and bringing up memories – evidence - to back up that she couldn't... memories, for instance, of embarrassing cold calls and boring networking events that achieved nothing but a hefty hit to her self-esteem.
Shifting focus
What Diana needed to do was shift her focus from what she couldn't do onto what she could do. She needed to stop the habit of chastising herself for her shortcomings and start a new habit of nurturing her strengths. She needed to develop a can-do attitude.
Coaching helped her to focus on her strengths and begin to develop that essential attitude.
Is Coaching Right For You?
I've been a professional Coach for over 6 years, and my experience tells me that coaching is not for everyone
Some people are just not ready to take the necessary actions, which will take their lives forward. They need to spend more time reflecting and examining their feelings and their underlying roots. Other people need to spend more time telling their "story" and are just not prepared to let it go just yet and move on with their lives.
That's absolutely fine.
When You're Ready
We can only get to where we want to be when we are ready and everyone will take their own amount of time to do this. I had a client who was 74 and came to me because she wanted to be a better mother! It takes as long as it takes to be ready. The point is that it's really important for anyone considering coaching to be really clear about how the coaching partnership works and how the process differs from counselling or therapy.
Reflection Or Action?
Whilst counselling and therapy are based on reflection and the examination of feelings and their underlying causes, Coaching is action based, using the past for information but not dwelling there for too long.
The main reason is that we don't live in the past, we live in the present and the choices we make today must be based on who we are now rather than whom we have been. Coaching makes this clear distinction so that you can make choices today that will give a great future tomorrow.
So Who Is Coaching For?
Well, people from all walks of life come to coaching for many reasons and the main reason is change. If you are ready, willing and able to do what needs to be done to have your life the way you want it to be, then Coaching is the perfect partnership for you.
Coaching is about you deliberately designing your life how you want it to be and then partnering with a coach to take consistent actions to make that happen. Whether it's business or personal, coaching is a partnership dedicated to your choosing a life where you’re doing what you love and realising the results you want.
Able
I spoke about ready, willing and able. The "able" part is about your mental state.
Coaching is for well, healthy individuals. What does that mean? The National Health Service has a great term for the majority of human beings in the 21st Century. We are not ill or debilitated in any way, but they call us "the worried well."
We are often overwhelmed with the pace of our lives, juggling career and relationships, building successful businesses, working towards some kind of financial independence, coping with divorce or relationship breakdown, yearning for our soul mate in life or just longing for some time to think through the next chapter of our lives.
We are busier than we have ever been and investing some of that time in partnering with a coach helps us to make sense of it all and become focused and clear about what needs to happen in order for us to get from where we are now to where we want to be and who we need to be in order to get there.
No Drama!
If what you want to do is hold on to the drama of your life and imagine that your coach will sympathise with you, then you may be surprised to hear that your coach will hold a much higher bar for you than perhaps you even hold for yourself right now.
Coaches know that human beings love drama. That's why Eastenders and Coronation Street are so popular! It's always about what he said, what she didn't say and what they are doing to them. The distinction here is that that's TV and this is your life we are talking about.
No Collusion
A coach will not collude with the drama of your life. A coach will help you to discover the enormous benefits in taking a hundred per cent responsibility for your own life by taking control of it rather than giving your power away to others.
The business of coaching is one that is based on a true empathy for what it is to be a human being with all its struggles, but it doesn't sympathise with any behaviour that keeps a drama activated.
Coaching is a two-way partnership and a great coach creates the space for the client to grow by offering strategies and skills and new perspectives that will open up possibilities to the client. The client is asked to take these new possibilities for their lives on board, be willing to try them on and begin applying them in their lives.
If you are not ready to do this then you are simply not ready for coaching. A coach can help you "buy your ticket" for the next part of your journey, but its up to you to take the "train" that will take you there.
Transformation
Partnering with a coach can be a life transforming experience. Thousands and thousands of people lives all over the world have been turned around as a result of great coaching. If you are thinking of working with a coach, we have a fabulous way of helping you find the right coach for you.
Firstly contact the coach of your choice, either by e-mail or phone. Find out how they might benefit you, how they work and what investment you would be making.
If you have done this via e-mail, and had a chance to digest the information sent to you, then make sure you set up a call with your prospective coach so that you can both experience each other, which will allow you to intuitively decide if the coach is right for you and vice-versa. Be sure you understand their contract and what is expected of you and ask as many questions as you want to so you can make an informed choice.
Commitment
Once you have decided on the best coach for you, get committed to having the most powerful few months of your life. Come to your calls on time, mentally ready to work on your life and in particular on what it is that you want to achieve.
This is a partnership and both coach and client take full responsibility for the coaching relationship. If you are uncomfortable with any aspect of the coaching, it is up to you to say so. It works both ways. Sometimes your coach will be very honest with you about what they observe the thing to know is that it will be in service of you being your best self at all times.
Both Client and Coach take full responsibility for the quality of the coaching partnership. When you keep your appointment with your coach you are showing yourself how important you are. We often put other people first, but this is your time and your coach is ready and waiting specifically to give you that time.
The time you spend with your coach is as vital to you health, wealth and fulfilment as absolutely anything else that is happening that day.
So now you know, if you were teetering on the edge, exactly what coaching is all about. If you are ready, willing and able to do what it takes to have your life work in any area where you are currently not receiving the results you’d like, then coaching is exactly the partnership you are looking for and we look forward to the honour of working with you.
Some people are just not ready to take the necessary actions, which will take their lives forward. They need to spend more time reflecting and examining their feelings and their underlying roots. Other people need to spend more time telling their "story" and are just not prepared to let it go just yet and move on with their lives.
That's absolutely fine.
When You're Ready
We can only get to where we want to be when we are ready and everyone will take their own amount of time to do this. I had a client who was 74 and came to me because she wanted to be a better mother! It takes as long as it takes to be ready. The point is that it's really important for anyone considering coaching to be really clear about how the coaching partnership works and how the process differs from counselling or therapy.
Reflection Or Action?
Whilst counselling and therapy are based on reflection and the examination of feelings and their underlying causes, Coaching is action based, using the past for information but not dwelling there for too long.
The main reason is that we don't live in the past, we live in the present and the choices we make today must be based on who we are now rather than whom we have been. Coaching makes this clear distinction so that you can make choices today that will give a great future tomorrow.
So Who Is Coaching For?
Well, people from all walks of life come to coaching for many reasons and the main reason is change. If you are ready, willing and able to do what needs to be done to have your life the way you want it to be, then Coaching is the perfect partnership for you.
Coaching is about you deliberately designing your life how you want it to be and then partnering with a coach to take consistent actions to make that happen. Whether it's business or personal, coaching is a partnership dedicated to your choosing a life where you’re doing what you love and realising the results you want.
Able
I spoke about ready, willing and able. The "able" part is about your mental state.
Coaching is for well, healthy individuals. What does that mean? The National Health Service has a great term for the majority of human beings in the 21st Century. We are not ill or debilitated in any way, but they call us "the worried well."
We are often overwhelmed with the pace of our lives, juggling career and relationships, building successful businesses, working towards some kind of financial independence, coping with divorce or relationship breakdown, yearning for our soul mate in life or just longing for some time to think through the next chapter of our lives.
We are busier than we have ever been and investing some of that time in partnering with a coach helps us to make sense of it all and become focused and clear about what needs to happen in order for us to get from where we are now to where we want to be and who we need to be in order to get there.
No Drama!
If what you want to do is hold on to the drama of your life and imagine that your coach will sympathise with you, then you may be surprised to hear that your coach will hold a much higher bar for you than perhaps you even hold for yourself right now.
Coaches know that human beings love drama. That's why Eastenders and Coronation Street are so popular! It's always about what he said, what she didn't say and what they are doing to them. The distinction here is that that's TV and this is your life we are talking about.
No Collusion
A coach will not collude with the drama of your life. A coach will help you to discover the enormous benefits in taking a hundred per cent responsibility for your own life by taking control of it rather than giving your power away to others.
The business of coaching is one that is based on a true empathy for what it is to be a human being with all its struggles, but it doesn't sympathise with any behaviour that keeps a drama activated.
Coaching is a two-way partnership and a great coach creates the space for the client to grow by offering strategies and skills and new perspectives that will open up possibilities to the client. The client is asked to take these new possibilities for their lives on board, be willing to try them on and begin applying them in their lives.
If you are not ready to do this then you are simply not ready for coaching. A coach can help you "buy your ticket" for the next part of your journey, but its up to you to take the "train" that will take you there.
Transformation
Partnering with a coach can be a life transforming experience. Thousands and thousands of people lives all over the world have been turned around as a result of great coaching. If you are thinking of working with a coach, we have a fabulous way of helping you find the right coach for you.
Firstly contact the coach of your choice, either by e-mail or phone. Find out how they might benefit you, how they work and what investment you would be making.
If you have done this via e-mail, and had a chance to digest the information sent to you, then make sure you set up a call with your prospective coach so that you can both experience each other, which will allow you to intuitively decide if the coach is right for you and vice-versa. Be sure you understand their contract and what is expected of you and ask as many questions as you want to so you can make an informed choice.
Commitment
Once you have decided on the best coach for you, get committed to having the most powerful few months of your life. Come to your calls on time, mentally ready to work on your life and in particular on what it is that you want to achieve.
This is a partnership and both coach and client take full responsibility for the coaching relationship. If you are uncomfortable with any aspect of the coaching, it is up to you to say so. It works both ways. Sometimes your coach will be very honest with you about what they observe the thing to know is that it will be in service of you being your best self at all times.
Both Client and Coach take full responsibility for the quality of the coaching partnership. When you keep your appointment with your coach you are showing yourself how important you are. We often put other people first, but this is your time and your coach is ready and waiting specifically to give you that time.
The time you spend with your coach is as vital to you health, wealth and fulfilment as absolutely anything else that is happening that day.
So now you know, if you were teetering on the edge, exactly what coaching is all about. If you are ready, willing and able to do what it takes to have your life work in any area where you are currently not receiving the results you’d like, then coaching is exactly the partnership you are looking for and we look forward to the honour of working with you.
Lost My Motivation - Help! - From The Independent On Sunday
Lost My Motivation - Help! - From The Independent On Sunday
This article was first published in The Independent On Sunday newspaper on Sunday 23rd October.
David's Question:
Dear Fiona,
I find myself in my early 40s, established in a career that I aspired to for a number of years, and which I enjoy tremendously. However in the past 3 to 4 years I have had severe problems with daily motivation. In my 20s I found myself able to throw myself into my work, commit huge amounts of effort and time into projects which, sometimes I had no great interest in.
However, my capacity for hard work seems to have disappeared. I spend hours reading off subject, or avoiding issues I know to be priorities. I do not feel that I am letting anyone else down - my work now is based on knowledge, perception and experience, and I am widely appreciated. Is there anything I can do to manage and discipline myself? It doesn't help that most of my work is done from home.
From David, 42, Leeds
Fiona Replies:
Hi David,
I am curious as to how long your working day is. I suspect you are putting in long hours yet still end up feeling unfulfilled at the end of it all.
But yours isn’t a simple case of workaholism, or even perfectionism.
Here’s the thing that really strikes me about you - you are operating in the same way that you did when you started out 20 years ago. What was appropriate then when you were a rookie may no longer be appropriate now. Let me explain:
1 Take a good look at yourself.
You say that you are well respected and your work is based on your "knowledge, perception and experience." In other words, you’re someone with a niche expertise in your field that has taken the last 20 years to accumulate. You don’t need to be sweating and slogging with the heavy work and long hours that you had to do when you first started out.
You’ve had the attitude of a survivalist for 20 years and it simply isn’t required any more.
2 Promote yourself.
When was the last time you gave yourself an appraisal: something popular in the workplace these days and a good idea for us freelancers too. It’s important to notice how far you’ve progressed. Make a list of your current assets and abilities. What do you do that no-one else does? What do people really come to you for? What is so great about what you have to offer?
It’s time to move up the ladder with a new job description and shiny new badge.
3 Be more business-like.
So far, you’ve been managing your career, a one-man consultancy. It’s time to start thinking about running a business and having assistants. Now that you have more than enough work for you, farm out the more mundane work to someone else.
This can be work given to someone working in their own home: they don’t have to be working physically next to you with all that that entails.
The rule is to delegate everything that doesn’t require your golden touch, so you get to oversee, work on the business and only do the select work that requires your level of expertise.
This is about making the most of your potential and actually enjoying what you’re doing.
4 Look after Number One.
You’re the talent! You’re the one running this show so it’s imperative to keep yourself motivated, energised and firing on all cylinders.
Therefore, you have to take time out to carry out essential rest and repair. You sound like someone in desperate need of a break, so take one, and plan for more fun and other interests in your life. What’s the one thing you keep saying you’d do if you had more time?
Now just do it. Make a call, book it in and get going. Then call three great mates you haven’t seen for a while and get back on their radar.
5 Stop working hard.
Why be so protestant with your work ethic?
Shake free from your attachment to hard work. Your challenge is to use all your valuable know-how and expertise in the smartest, most elegant way possible. Let your rookie assistants do what you were doing 20 years ago and you do the really clever stuff.
Reduce your working day by a third and as a rule work no more than 4 days a week.
Relax. Stop making it so hard for yourself. You’ve come a long way!
This article was first published in The Independent On Sunday newspaper on Sunday 23rd October.
David's Question:
Dear Fiona,
I find myself in my early 40s, established in a career that I aspired to for a number of years, and which I enjoy tremendously. However in the past 3 to 4 years I have had severe problems with daily motivation. In my 20s I found myself able to throw myself into my work, commit huge amounts of effort and time into projects which, sometimes I had no great interest in.
However, my capacity for hard work seems to have disappeared. I spend hours reading off subject, or avoiding issues I know to be priorities. I do not feel that I am letting anyone else down - my work now is based on knowledge, perception and experience, and I am widely appreciated. Is there anything I can do to manage and discipline myself? It doesn't help that most of my work is done from home.
From David, 42, Leeds
Fiona Replies:
Hi David,
I am curious as to how long your working day is. I suspect you are putting in long hours yet still end up feeling unfulfilled at the end of it all.
But yours isn’t a simple case of workaholism, or even perfectionism.
Here’s the thing that really strikes me about you - you are operating in the same way that you did when you started out 20 years ago. What was appropriate then when you were a rookie may no longer be appropriate now. Let me explain:
1 Take a good look at yourself.
You say that you are well respected and your work is based on your "knowledge, perception and experience." In other words, you’re someone with a niche expertise in your field that has taken the last 20 years to accumulate. You don’t need to be sweating and slogging with the heavy work and long hours that you had to do when you first started out.
You’ve had the attitude of a survivalist for 20 years and it simply isn’t required any more.
2 Promote yourself.
When was the last time you gave yourself an appraisal: something popular in the workplace these days and a good idea for us freelancers too. It’s important to notice how far you’ve progressed. Make a list of your current assets and abilities. What do you do that no-one else does? What do people really come to you for? What is so great about what you have to offer?
It’s time to move up the ladder with a new job description and shiny new badge.
3 Be more business-like.
So far, you’ve been managing your career, a one-man consultancy. It’s time to start thinking about running a business and having assistants. Now that you have more than enough work for you, farm out the more mundane work to someone else.
This can be work given to someone working in their own home: they don’t have to be working physically next to you with all that that entails.
The rule is to delegate everything that doesn’t require your golden touch, so you get to oversee, work on the business and only do the select work that requires your level of expertise.
This is about making the most of your potential and actually enjoying what you’re doing.
4 Look after Number One.
You’re the talent! You’re the one running this show so it’s imperative to keep yourself motivated, energised and firing on all cylinders.
Therefore, you have to take time out to carry out essential rest and repair. You sound like someone in desperate need of a break, so take one, and plan for more fun and other interests in your life. What’s the one thing you keep saying you’d do if you had more time?
Now just do it. Make a call, book it in and get going. Then call three great mates you haven’t seen for a while and get back on their radar.
5 Stop working hard.
Why be so protestant with your work ethic?
Shake free from your attachment to hard work. Your challenge is to use all your valuable know-how and expertise in the smartest, most elegant way possible. Let your rookie assistants do what you were doing 20 years ago and you do the really clever stuff.
Reduce your working day by a third and as a rule work no more than 4 days a week.
Relax. Stop making it so hard for yourself. You’ve come a long way!
Slow Down And Achieve More
Do you find it hard to switch off? You’re not alone.
It’s an increasing problem compounded by technology. Mobile phones, laptops and all the other gadgets we use regularly mean that we can be in touch anytime, anywhere, anyplace.
In his fabulous book “In Praise of Slow” author Carl Honore makes reference to “the curse of multi-tasking. Doing two things at once seems so clever, so efficient, and so modern. Yet, it often means doing two things not very well… and we have lost the art of doing nothing.”
Losing Touch
The danger of never slowing down and reflecting is that we lose touch with our real selves. I have been attending yoga retreats for ten years and I can confirm the high numbers of us who are looking for a balance between fast and slow.
When thoughts of work regularly spill over into private time, people can get sick. This has been well documented over the years and was first brought to our attention by the pioneer of body/mind research, Hans Selye, over a century ago.
Families suffer, activities that you enjoy doing get shelved, usually the same activities that actually promote good mental health – and left unchecked you can become chronically tired and vulnerable to physical illness.
Stress
Every year in the UK ninety-one million days are lost to work-related stress.
A study carried out by the Mental Health Foundation in 2002 made some interesting findings:
The more hours people worked, the more they spent time thinking about work outside working hours.
As a person’s weekly hours increase, so do their feelings of unhappiness.
The number of people working more than 60 hours a week rose from one in eight to one in six over a two year period in the UK.
Prince Charles had this to say in a recent interview: “The aim seems to be to go faster and faster but I often wonder, how much faster can we all go?”
He was recalling his childhood spent in Caithness where the pace of life was slower. He continued: “I think it’s terribly important for any human being to have a time for silence, and for things to slow down just a bit. It’s a balance, it seems to me, we have to try to find.”
It’s an increasing problem compounded by technology. Mobile phones, laptops and all the other gadgets we use regularly mean that we can be in touch anytime, anywhere, anyplace.
In his fabulous book “In Praise of Slow” author Carl Honore makes reference to “the curse of multi-tasking. Doing two things at once seems so clever, so efficient, and so modern. Yet, it often means doing two things not very well… and we have lost the art of doing nothing.”
Losing Touch
The danger of never slowing down and reflecting is that we lose touch with our real selves. I have been attending yoga retreats for ten years and I can confirm the high numbers of us who are looking for a balance between fast and slow.
When thoughts of work regularly spill over into private time, people can get sick. This has been well documented over the years and was first brought to our attention by the pioneer of body/mind research, Hans Selye, over a century ago.
Families suffer, activities that you enjoy doing get shelved, usually the same activities that actually promote good mental health – and left unchecked you can become chronically tired and vulnerable to physical illness.
Stress
Every year in the UK ninety-one million days are lost to work-related stress.
A study carried out by the Mental Health Foundation in 2002 made some interesting findings:
The more hours people worked, the more they spent time thinking about work outside working hours.
As a person’s weekly hours increase, so do their feelings of unhappiness.
The number of people working more than 60 hours a week rose from one in eight to one in six over a two year period in the UK.
Prince Charles had this to say in a recent interview: “The aim seems to be to go faster and faster but I often wonder, how much faster can we all go?”
He was recalling his childhood spent in Caithness where the pace of life was slower. He continued: “I think it’s terribly important for any human being to have a time for silence, and for things to slow down just a bit. It’s a balance, it seems to me, we have to try to find.”
Create Your Dream Home
Have you created a sacred sanctuary that you love to come home to?
Your home is your castle. As you step into the front door it should embrace you, comfort you, and support you whatever life style you have.
As I sit writing to you, I look around and wonder why I feel so wonderful in my home. I see a beautiful vase of pure white roses and yellow freesias. This vision and smell not only appeal to my senses but truly lift my spirit.
When I glance at my window a stream of sunshine hits a crystal ball that in turn reflects the most beautiful colours into my room. The soft drapes hanging from my contempory curtain pole soften the window frame and give the room an air of elegance and light.
The rich deep piled carpet is content to be the back drop to the flame red and orange rug in front of the fire place. A snug and welcoming spot especially on a chilly night!
That feeling of a home that's cosy and comfortable, and lighting that is easy on the eye, with an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity - all this can only be achieved when we create it.
Heather's Story
Earlier this year I met a client called Heather. Her face was pale and stressed as she described her feelings towards her home, which she could neither sell, nor feel relaxed in. So Heather asked me to come and look at her house.
As I stepped into her home it was clear to me why things were not as good as they could be. The Budget was £500. We spent £40 on paint and £460 on mirrors, lighting, soft furnishings, accessories and flowers.
After a couple of weeks of work on the house the transformation was very evident. Heather sold her house in the first week after the transformation.
Your Dream Home - Right Here, Right Now!
Are you waiting for your dream home? Why wait? Unlock your home's potential. Make the best of what you have. You might even find you are living in your dream home. You just have not used your possibilities or spotted your home's potential.
1. Make a fresh start.
Plan one room at a time. Find something beautiful, or something that captivates your imagination. It could be a painting, an ornament, a vase of flowers, a piece of fabric or clothing or something as simple as a post card. Look at it and write down what you like so much - for example its colour, its shape or its style.
This is a great way to start you off on choosing a colour scheme and might even lead you into another style you had not imagined living with.
2. Clean.
Have you ever heard of the saying 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'? Be your very own Gods and Goddesses! Clean your home well - don't spare on the hot water, soap and elbow grease.
If you have no time to clean yourself - Call in help! Start with cleaning your windows.
3. Keep your rooms clear and give them purpose.
Here's a checklist - adapt it to your own needs, but don't leave anywhere out!
Hallways and entrances - Keep clear from clutter; remember first impressions are very powerful. What does your entrance hall say about you? Flowers always make a nice welcome.
Kitchen - Throw away stale food that has past its "sold by" or "use by" date. Sort out kitchen appliances. Keep only the ones in good repair and that you use. A beautiful bowl of fresh fruit is an instant blast of good. Buy fruit you like. Lemons or oranges look very effective on their own.
Dining room - Don't dump junk in the dining room. This is a place to retreat, eat and share with our family and friends. Collect things you would like to decorate your table with. For example: Shells, candles, crystals and serviettes. Collect things in groups of one colour as they will look more effective when used decorating your table.
Living room - Replace old and tired soft furnishings. Make sure this is a fabulous part of the house you love to spend your time in. Buy an Up-lighter with a dimmer to add atmosphere with a wonderful wash of light to transform your living area.
Bedrooms - Don't compromise! Clear out the unuseful. Your bedroom should be your very own sanctuary. For a child that might mean having to hand their favourite toys and books - look at their room from their perspective. Men and women appreciate an attractive, warm welcoming space. Make your bedroom your very own temple.
Bathrooms - Throw away old make-up, after shave and stale perfume. Purposely collect morning things and night things. Have to hand all that you need for a great start to the day. And have to hand the ready things that will help you relax at the end of a tiring day! Set the stage… make this room work for you to the maximum.
4. Be confident and resourceful.
We humans don't always find change easy, especially in our home. Have the confidence to make positive changes! Take control of your personal environment, by looking at what you have and building onto the good parts.
If you always do the same you will always get the same. Make no excuses. Make an action plan today! Don't make things a chore, work with an element of fun - expect the best!
5. Home Office.
When setting up a home office give yourself at least 6 to 9 square metres space.
Buy the most comfortable chair you can afford. Choose an area in your house where you will be least disturbed. If you share your home with other people don't plan your home office spot to be in the main living area of the house. Balance between work and home can be achieved if you design it that way.
Good luck!
Your home is your castle. As you step into the front door it should embrace you, comfort you, and support you whatever life style you have.
As I sit writing to you, I look around and wonder why I feel so wonderful in my home. I see a beautiful vase of pure white roses and yellow freesias. This vision and smell not only appeal to my senses but truly lift my spirit.
When I glance at my window a stream of sunshine hits a crystal ball that in turn reflects the most beautiful colours into my room. The soft drapes hanging from my contempory curtain pole soften the window frame and give the room an air of elegance and light.
The rich deep piled carpet is content to be the back drop to the flame red and orange rug in front of the fire place. A snug and welcoming spot especially on a chilly night!
That feeling of a home that's cosy and comfortable, and lighting that is easy on the eye, with an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity - all this can only be achieved when we create it.
Heather's Story
Earlier this year I met a client called Heather. Her face was pale and stressed as she described her feelings towards her home, which she could neither sell, nor feel relaxed in. So Heather asked me to come and look at her house.
As I stepped into her home it was clear to me why things were not as good as they could be. The Budget was £500. We spent £40 on paint and £460 on mirrors, lighting, soft furnishings, accessories and flowers.
After a couple of weeks of work on the house the transformation was very evident. Heather sold her house in the first week after the transformation.
Your Dream Home - Right Here, Right Now!
Are you waiting for your dream home? Why wait? Unlock your home's potential. Make the best of what you have. You might even find you are living in your dream home. You just have not used your possibilities or spotted your home's potential.
1. Make a fresh start.
Plan one room at a time. Find something beautiful, or something that captivates your imagination. It could be a painting, an ornament, a vase of flowers, a piece of fabric or clothing or something as simple as a post card. Look at it and write down what you like so much - for example its colour, its shape or its style.
This is a great way to start you off on choosing a colour scheme and might even lead you into another style you had not imagined living with.
2. Clean.
Have you ever heard of the saying 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness'? Be your very own Gods and Goddesses! Clean your home well - don't spare on the hot water, soap and elbow grease.
If you have no time to clean yourself - Call in help! Start with cleaning your windows.
3. Keep your rooms clear and give them purpose.
Here's a checklist - adapt it to your own needs, but don't leave anywhere out!
Hallways and entrances - Keep clear from clutter; remember first impressions are very powerful. What does your entrance hall say about you? Flowers always make a nice welcome.
Kitchen - Throw away stale food that has past its "sold by" or "use by" date. Sort out kitchen appliances. Keep only the ones in good repair and that you use. A beautiful bowl of fresh fruit is an instant blast of good. Buy fruit you like. Lemons or oranges look very effective on their own.
Dining room - Don't dump junk in the dining room. This is a place to retreat, eat and share with our family and friends. Collect things you would like to decorate your table with. For example: Shells, candles, crystals and serviettes. Collect things in groups of one colour as they will look more effective when used decorating your table.
Living room - Replace old and tired soft furnishings. Make sure this is a fabulous part of the house you love to spend your time in. Buy an Up-lighter with a dimmer to add atmosphere with a wonderful wash of light to transform your living area.
Bedrooms - Don't compromise! Clear out the unuseful. Your bedroom should be your very own sanctuary. For a child that might mean having to hand their favourite toys and books - look at their room from their perspective. Men and women appreciate an attractive, warm welcoming space. Make your bedroom your very own temple.
Bathrooms - Throw away old make-up, after shave and stale perfume. Purposely collect morning things and night things. Have to hand all that you need for a great start to the day. And have to hand the ready things that will help you relax at the end of a tiring day! Set the stage… make this room work for you to the maximum.
4. Be confident and resourceful.
We humans don't always find change easy, especially in our home. Have the confidence to make positive changes! Take control of your personal environment, by looking at what you have and building onto the good parts.
If you always do the same you will always get the same. Make no excuses. Make an action plan today! Don't make things a chore, work with an element of fun - expect the best!
5. Home Office.
When setting up a home office give yourself at least 6 to 9 square metres space.
Buy the most comfortable chair you can afford. Choose an area in your house where you will be least disturbed. If you share your home with other people don't plan your home office spot to be in the main living area of the house. Balance between work and home can be achieved if you design it that way.
Good luck!
Five Steps To Keep Out Clutter
1. Think “Systems”
Tackling clutter without a framework of systems makes it Hard Work because you have to think and plan anew each time.
Think of your systems as the shortcuts to effective organisation and always be on the lookout to fine-tune and improve them.
Identify your personal biggest clutter categories and sit and plan how you can get them in order – take this planning seriously because it’s going to win you precious time and peace of mind once you get it right.
2. Try Before You Buy
If communal changing rooms send you into a cold sweat, why not plan a concealing ensemble that will allow you to slip clothes on and off without revealing anything.
May I suggest dark tights or tight leggings to hide everything up to your waist, and a close fitting long-sleeved jersey top for your body? You can even practice changing into clothes wearing these at home – remember that proper planning and preparation pays!
Clothes in stores can be slipped on OVER these, and if you round your ensemble off with a long loose skirt with an elasticated waist you’ll even be able to try on jeans without revealing any flesh. Comfy flat slip-ons mean you can spend longer prowling the stores, and waste no time fiddling with laces - you’re now ready to shop like a pro.
3. Enlist All Hands
Partners and children should at least not be adding to the problem, so when you discipline yourself to stop bringing in future clutter, everyone else needs to follow suit.
School artworks can be photographed and the pictures kept in an album, and this will help you painlessly limit the amount of junior art on display.
If you have a partner who’s always bringing things home that might be useful “one day” please refer them to last week’s article where I discussed how few of the things we keep “just in case” ever really come in useful. If you have examples to hand that have been waiting years to be used, bring them up to support your case.
And as a positive incentive, stress the endless potential for actually getting some things done once you have plenty of free space.
4. Make A Date
Experiment with having a post day, a laundry day, and stick to that as far as you can.
Knowing that one day a week you sort all of one category of stuff lets you relax and it won’t be hanging over you as a guilt-inducing unfinished task.
The whole point of a decluttered life is that it should be easier than living with clutter, and though it might feel like hard work at first, being able to trust yourself to keep things ticking over by addressing them each week will lighten the burden of unfinished tasks you carry around in your head.
5. Persevere
Most of us – me included – slip sometimes, things get a little out of hand, a system just sort of disappears and you’re faced with a mini clutter monster again. Sometimes it can even feel like one of those sequel heavy horror movies!
Never give in - because sooner or later, all things do have to be tidied up. It might be a visit from a colleague or relative, someone who comes to your assistance like a doctor or plumber, or just new friends you’d like to invite into your home, but sooner or later you will have to clear up and you might as well make it easy by doing it in small easy steps than face that dreadful last minute scramble.
Persist, persevere and with time you will find that your habits change and the whole idea becomes easier and more natural – and meantime you get all the benefits of living in a beautiful, comfortable clutter-free home with possessions which work for you and not against you.
Tackling clutter without a framework of systems makes it Hard Work because you have to think and plan anew each time.
Think of your systems as the shortcuts to effective organisation and always be on the lookout to fine-tune and improve them.
Identify your personal biggest clutter categories and sit and plan how you can get them in order – take this planning seriously because it’s going to win you precious time and peace of mind once you get it right.
2. Try Before You Buy
If communal changing rooms send you into a cold sweat, why not plan a concealing ensemble that will allow you to slip clothes on and off without revealing anything.
May I suggest dark tights or tight leggings to hide everything up to your waist, and a close fitting long-sleeved jersey top for your body? You can even practice changing into clothes wearing these at home – remember that proper planning and preparation pays!
Clothes in stores can be slipped on OVER these, and if you round your ensemble off with a long loose skirt with an elasticated waist you’ll even be able to try on jeans without revealing any flesh. Comfy flat slip-ons mean you can spend longer prowling the stores, and waste no time fiddling with laces - you’re now ready to shop like a pro.
3. Enlist All Hands
Partners and children should at least not be adding to the problem, so when you discipline yourself to stop bringing in future clutter, everyone else needs to follow suit.
School artworks can be photographed and the pictures kept in an album, and this will help you painlessly limit the amount of junior art on display.
If you have a partner who’s always bringing things home that might be useful “one day” please refer them to last week’s article where I discussed how few of the things we keep “just in case” ever really come in useful. If you have examples to hand that have been waiting years to be used, bring them up to support your case.
And as a positive incentive, stress the endless potential for actually getting some things done once you have plenty of free space.
4. Make A Date
Experiment with having a post day, a laundry day, and stick to that as far as you can.
Knowing that one day a week you sort all of one category of stuff lets you relax and it won’t be hanging over you as a guilt-inducing unfinished task.
The whole point of a decluttered life is that it should be easier than living with clutter, and though it might feel like hard work at first, being able to trust yourself to keep things ticking over by addressing them each week will lighten the burden of unfinished tasks you carry around in your head.
5. Persevere
Most of us – me included – slip sometimes, things get a little out of hand, a system just sort of disappears and you’re faced with a mini clutter monster again. Sometimes it can even feel like one of those sequel heavy horror movies!
Never give in - because sooner or later, all things do have to be tidied up. It might be a visit from a colleague or relative, someone who comes to your assistance like a doctor or plumber, or just new friends you’d like to invite into your home, but sooner or later you will have to clear up and you might as well make it easy by doing it in small easy steps than face that dreadful last minute scramble.
Persist, persevere and with time you will find that your habits change and the whole idea becomes easier and more natural – and meantime you get all the benefits of living in a beautiful, comfortable clutter-free home with possessions which work for you and not against you.
Five Steps To Start Decluttering
1. Let go of the guilt
One of the reasons I find it relatively easy to help other people with their decluttering is that every grubby coffee mug or outdated magazine doesn’t scream at me and make me feel guilty.
If you’re going to commit to a large-scale and ongoing decluttering programme, beating yourself up and condemning yourself for letting it get this way is counter-productive and likely to put you off confronting the issue. In fact, guilt and harsh judgements about yourself need to be the very first things to go in the bin!
Detach from seeing it as a reason to feel bad about yourself and recognise that you’re never going to be motivated to undertake decluttering if you turn each session into an excuse to pile on the guilt and shame.
2. Make a small start right now
Commit to doing ten or fifteen minutes right now, or as soon as you get home tonight. Don’t wait until you’re in the mood – arguably, no sane person is ever in the mood to declutter!
Just crack on with it in small steps and within a week (probably less) you’ll start to see enough progress that you’ll want to do more than a few minutes – heck, you might even start feeling like it’s fun as you regain lost space and freedom in your home!
3. Start anywhere
It’s easy to look at clutter and not know where to start – that’s fine, just start anywhere and if there’s an obvious or correct way, it’ll soon become obvious.
If not, no worries - at least you’ve made a start on it and not delayed any longer and put up with more clutter-induced misery. If you’re looking at a room full of clutter, for the sake of argument just pick a corner and work your way around the room from there.
Make a commitment to steam through it for your ten or fifteen minutes, and don’t get bogged down by over-thinking it or getting sidetracked by minor details.
4. Move it around
While you’re doing a big clear out you’re likely to come across important stuff you want to keep but which can’t just go straight to its correct home. Don’t be afraid to move stuff to several temporary locations before it finally gets squared away.
For example you could try piling all your clothing in one corner to await sorting into its final destinations of “Keep” “Bin” and “Charity Shop.” Likewise, all paperwork could be placed together into an A4 box file (or two) until you’re ready to file it away properly.
Should you need something from that category in the meantime, at least it’s all in one place and that alone will probably make day-to-day life much simpler.
5. Don’t self-sabotage
Specifically, don’t think that you cannot begin to declutter until you have a scheme in place to recycle and re-use everything. You are not helping to save the planet by becoming an annexe for the local landfill.
In fact a cluttered home is a serious fire-hazard to you and your neighbours, attracts vermin (who are a health hazard and who the local council will eventually exterminate) and you have no hope of setting up a sensible eco-friendly home if you’re up to your ears in chaos.
So make with the binbags for now and concentrate on going green once you have room and space to plan properly.
One of the reasons I find it relatively easy to help other people with their decluttering is that every grubby coffee mug or outdated magazine doesn’t scream at me and make me feel guilty.
If you’re going to commit to a large-scale and ongoing decluttering programme, beating yourself up and condemning yourself for letting it get this way is counter-productive and likely to put you off confronting the issue. In fact, guilt and harsh judgements about yourself need to be the very first things to go in the bin!
Detach from seeing it as a reason to feel bad about yourself and recognise that you’re never going to be motivated to undertake decluttering if you turn each session into an excuse to pile on the guilt and shame.
2. Make a small start right now
Commit to doing ten or fifteen minutes right now, or as soon as you get home tonight. Don’t wait until you’re in the mood – arguably, no sane person is ever in the mood to declutter!
Just crack on with it in small steps and within a week (probably less) you’ll start to see enough progress that you’ll want to do more than a few minutes – heck, you might even start feeling like it’s fun as you regain lost space and freedom in your home!
3. Start anywhere
It’s easy to look at clutter and not know where to start – that’s fine, just start anywhere and if there’s an obvious or correct way, it’ll soon become obvious.
If not, no worries - at least you’ve made a start on it and not delayed any longer and put up with more clutter-induced misery. If you’re looking at a room full of clutter, for the sake of argument just pick a corner and work your way around the room from there.
Make a commitment to steam through it for your ten or fifteen minutes, and don’t get bogged down by over-thinking it or getting sidetracked by minor details.
4. Move it around
While you’re doing a big clear out you’re likely to come across important stuff you want to keep but which can’t just go straight to its correct home. Don’t be afraid to move stuff to several temporary locations before it finally gets squared away.
For example you could try piling all your clothing in one corner to await sorting into its final destinations of “Keep” “Bin” and “Charity Shop.” Likewise, all paperwork could be placed together into an A4 box file (or two) until you’re ready to file it away properly.
Should you need something from that category in the meantime, at least it’s all in one place and that alone will probably make day-to-day life much simpler.
5. Don’t self-sabotage
Specifically, don’t think that you cannot begin to declutter until you have a scheme in place to recycle and re-use everything. You are not helping to save the planet by becoming an annexe for the local landfill.
In fact a cluttered home is a serious fire-hazard to you and your neighbours, attracts vermin (who are a health hazard and who the local council will eventually exterminate) and you have no hope of setting up a sensible eco-friendly home if you’re up to your ears in chaos.
So make with the binbags for now and concentrate on going green once you have room and space to plan properly.
Organise Your Life
There is little more disheartening than coming home after a long day to a home that is cluttered with too much stuff, with unwanted stuff, and with stuff that's in the wrong place.
Clothes, shoes, magazines, old newspapers, ornaments, paperwork, books - whatever kind of possessions you have, if they're in the wrong place or past their best they cease to be your pride and joy and become a nightmare of domestic chaos.
Hoarding
A recent survey estimated that Britons hoard £2.5bn of stuff that they neither need, want, nor use, and that an average home will have at least 46 items that are unused and are simply getting in the way. From my own experience, that's a vast understatement!
Chores that are waiting to be done, broken appliances, and vital paperwork that can't be found tend to be the next stage for a cluttered home and they just pile on the misery.
If you've ever spent the working week struggling with a cluttered and disorganised home, then spent the weekend unable to relax because you know you need to start tackling it, but just don't have the energy for that big clearout, then I have some fast and effective methods that will put you back in control of your home.
Wake-up Call
In my twenties I had a pretty slapdash attitude to housework and organisation, and when my landlord refused to renew my lease one year unless I got my flat tidied up, it was a shocking wake-up call.
I could see his point – by then, I’d been there seven years and there were only a few square feet left clear in the living room, with the rest of the flat even worse. So, I had to do some serious planning to discover ways to get it tidied up – and most importantly, to keep it that way.
Getting Started
It was always making that decision to start, to do the first round of picking up, that was the hardest, and I came to realise that if I made small steps on a daily basis (instead of six-monthly frantic clearouts) I would be onto a winner.
Perfectionism and the bizarre notion that a home once tidied should stay tidy were to blame for that, and I’ve since discovered that the same ideas are to blame for many other people’s household disorder, whatever its scale.
Making a commitment to spend just ten or fifteen minutes each day tidying, putting things where they should be (either back in storage, or in the bin) will eat away at the clutter monster far quicker than if you wait for the right day, or the free weekend, or that Bank Holiday, to get started.
It’s tempting to wait until you’re in the mood to start, but let’s face it, if you were someone who regularly gets in the mood to do housework, you’d not be in this situation in the first place.
By doing a bit at a time, every day no matter how you feel, you’re both dealing with the present situation, and setting up a good habit of regular tidying that will help you keep clutter pared down once you’ve got everything sorted out.
Out With The Old
Most of the things that end up as clutter, be they old furniture, bike parts, clothes, souvenirs, shoes or books, started off with good intentions, and you had a reason to bring them home or get them out of storage.
The problem is, that plan never turned into action, and now you have a problem with the very objects that were meant to be making life better.
You need to be very realistic and assume that if something didn’t immediately hop to it and come in useful, it probably never will.
The world is not about to run out of bric-a-brac and letting go of existing collections will allow you to make the most of the truly useful and valuable things you own – and if you find you need something like it in future, you’ll have the space to actually put your plans into action.
Helping Hands
Most local councils in the UK, and many charity shops, will collect free or for a small fee and they’re the best first stop when it comes to getting rid of your clutter.
Charity shops can’t resell rubbish, so make sure that you save the good stuff for them and the tatty old gear can go to be recycled or binned.
Right now you’re better off focusing on getting your home cleared out and clutter free than on trying to save the world by recycling every last sock, and you will be able to turn your home into a lean green living machine after you’ve binned the clutter and had space to breathe.
You’re Not Alone
Once I began to recognise that I had a problem with disorganisation and clutter, I reached out to people around me and searched online and was amazed (and frankly, relieved) to discover that I was not alone in having trouble keeping my place tidy.
I was NOT the only woman who’d stopped inviting people over unless they already knew about my mess, and I was not the only person to have had problems because of her cluttering.
I even read about one woman in America who had been threatened with having her children taken away unless she got on top of her chaotic home!
Whatever your level of clutter, whether it’s a few drawers full of unwanted memories, or a full-scale mountain of the stuff, you can move forwards from it and have a home that is not only organised, but also a joy to live in and a great place to invite round your friends and colleagues.
Clothes, shoes, magazines, old newspapers, ornaments, paperwork, books - whatever kind of possessions you have, if they're in the wrong place or past their best they cease to be your pride and joy and become a nightmare of domestic chaos.
Hoarding
A recent survey estimated that Britons hoard £2.5bn of stuff that they neither need, want, nor use, and that an average home will have at least 46 items that are unused and are simply getting in the way. From my own experience, that's a vast understatement!
Chores that are waiting to be done, broken appliances, and vital paperwork that can't be found tend to be the next stage for a cluttered home and they just pile on the misery.
If you've ever spent the working week struggling with a cluttered and disorganised home, then spent the weekend unable to relax because you know you need to start tackling it, but just don't have the energy for that big clearout, then I have some fast and effective methods that will put you back in control of your home.
Wake-up Call
In my twenties I had a pretty slapdash attitude to housework and organisation, and when my landlord refused to renew my lease one year unless I got my flat tidied up, it was a shocking wake-up call.
I could see his point – by then, I’d been there seven years and there were only a few square feet left clear in the living room, with the rest of the flat even worse. So, I had to do some serious planning to discover ways to get it tidied up – and most importantly, to keep it that way.
Getting Started
It was always making that decision to start, to do the first round of picking up, that was the hardest, and I came to realise that if I made small steps on a daily basis (instead of six-monthly frantic clearouts) I would be onto a winner.
Perfectionism and the bizarre notion that a home once tidied should stay tidy were to blame for that, and I’ve since discovered that the same ideas are to blame for many other people’s household disorder, whatever its scale.
Making a commitment to spend just ten or fifteen minutes each day tidying, putting things where they should be (either back in storage, or in the bin) will eat away at the clutter monster far quicker than if you wait for the right day, or the free weekend, or that Bank Holiday, to get started.
It’s tempting to wait until you’re in the mood to start, but let’s face it, if you were someone who regularly gets in the mood to do housework, you’d not be in this situation in the first place.
By doing a bit at a time, every day no matter how you feel, you’re both dealing with the present situation, and setting up a good habit of regular tidying that will help you keep clutter pared down once you’ve got everything sorted out.
Out With The Old
Most of the things that end up as clutter, be they old furniture, bike parts, clothes, souvenirs, shoes or books, started off with good intentions, and you had a reason to bring them home or get them out of storage.
The problem is, that plan never turned into action, and now you have a problem with the very objects that were meant to be making life better.
You need to be very realistic and assume that if something didn’t immediately hop to it and come in useful, it probably never will.
The world is not about to run out of bric-a-brac and letting go of existing collections will allow you to make the most of the truly useful and valuable things you own – and if you find you need something like it in future, you’ll have the space to actually put your plans into action.
Helping Hands
Most local councils in the UK, and many charity shops, will collect free or for a small fee and they’re the best first stop when it comes to getting rid of your clutter.
Charity shops can’t resell rubbish, so make sure that you save the good stuff for them and the tatty old gear can go to be recycled or binned.
Right now you’re better off focusing on getting your home cleared out and clutter free than on trying to save the world by recycling every last sock, and you will be able to turn your home into a lean green living machine after you’ve binned the clutter and had space to breathe.
You’re Not Alone
Once I began to recognise that I had a problem with disorganisation and clutter, I reached out to people around me and searched online and was amazed (and frankly, relieved) to discover that I was not alone in having trouble keeping my place tidy.
I was NOT the only woman who’d stopped inviting people over unless they already knew about my mess, and I was not the only person to have had problems because of her cluttering.
I even read about one woman in America who had been threatened with having her children taken away unless she got on top of her chaotic home!
Whatever your level of clutter, whether it’s a few drawers full of unwanted memories, or a full-scale mountain of the stuff, you can move forwards from it and have a home that is not only organised, but also a joy to live in and a great place to invite round your friends and colleagues.
It's Not Out There, It's In Here
Having had the privilege of assisting Fiona at one of her recent Success Groups, I have gleaned inspiration and insight from all the fabulous and dedicated attendees on the course.
Seven months ago, a group of motivated people started the group with one thing in common: the desire to succeed while working together on an unknown journey. And what a journey those 7 months have been for all of us, cultivating and nourishing the will to do!
One thing I now know without a doubt is that in order to attain that sometimes elusive success, we've got to look inside for the road that will lead us to our very own "crock of gold", our "this is it."
It's not out there, it really is in here!
Chasing Success
Most of us spend our lives chasing success like the proverbial dog chasing its tail, never quite managing to catch it. And those who have achieved their very own version of success will tell you there's nothing quite like it. In order to join the ranks of the successful, we've first got to make it real.
It's got to feel so real, that we can almost taste it.
We've got to look inside and figure out what it is that's keeping us awake at night, if only we could figure out a way to make it a reality: what it is we'd do if only we didn't need permission from the outside world.
Then we've got to make that picture so damned clear we can almost see our reflection in it.
Stephen's Story
Stephen was a dedicated member of the success group, so dedicated in fact that he travelled from France every month to attend the group. His idea of success at the outset was somewhat fuzzy and muddled as he looked outside, and around him - everywhere but within - to find the answer to his conundrum.
At the final meeting Stephen announced he was about to return to the corporate world in the UK, a world he knew well, but one he had neither passion nor enthusiasm for.
When he spoke about it, he seemed disheartened, and I must admit so did I as part of Stephen's original and exciting dream was to continue to build-up (literally!) his guest house business in France.
Durable
As Fiona began to probe Stephen's decision we discovered what fired him up was all things eco, particular types of stone and constructing durable enviromently friendly buildings.
His burning desire - which was inside him all along - was to build an eco-friendly building that would sustain the test of time.
This was a fire that Stephen tried to dampen and in fact had never admitted in any other meeting, as he didn't believe he could ever make it real.
Through his commitment to himself, and by finally giving a voice to the fire inside of him, Stephen's journey is about to take a dramatic U-turn for the better.
Stephen has committed to staying in France and making a few changes to give him the extra dynamism and excitement that he wants to add to his life.
If you fancy a restful holiday far from the maddening crowd then check out www.lotvalleygite.com.
Seven months ago, a group of motivated people started the group with one thing in common: the desire to succeed while working together on an unknown journey. And what a journey those 7 months have been for all of us, cultivating and nourishing the will to do!
One thing I now know without a doubt is that in order to attain that sometimes elusive success, we've got to look inside for the road that will lead us to our very own "crock of gold", our "this is it."
It's not out there, it really is in here!
Chasing Success
Most of us spend our lives chasing success like the proverbial dog chasing its tail, never quite managing to catch it. And those who have achieved their very own version of success will tell you there's nothing quite like it. In order to join the ranks of the successful, we've first got to make it real.
It's got to feel so real, that we can almost taste it.
We've got to look inside and figure out what it is that's keeping us awake at night, if only we could figure out a way to make it a reality: what it is we'd do if only we didn't need permission from the outside world.
Then we've got to make that picture so damned clear we can almost see our reflection in it.
Stephen's Story
Stephen was a dedicated member of the success group, so dedicated in fact that he travelled from France every month to attend the group. His idea of success at the outset was somewhat fuzzy and muddled as he looked outside, and around him - everywhere but within - to find the answer to his conundrum.
At the final meeting Stephen announced he was about to return to the corporate world in the UK, a world he knew well, but one he had neither passion nor enthusiasm for.
When he spoke about it, he seemed disheartened, and I must admit so did I as part of Stephen's original and exciting dream was to continue to build-up (literally!) his guest house business in France.
Durable
As Fiona began to probe Stephen's decision we discovered what fired him up was all things eco, particular types of stone and constructing durable enviromently friendly buildings.
His burning desire - which was inside him all along - was to build an eco-friendly building that would sustain the test of time.
This was a fire that Stephen tried to dampen and in fact had never admitted in any other meeting, as he didn't believe he could ever make it real.
Through his commitment to himself, and by finally giving a voice to the fire inside of him, Stephen's journey is about to take a dramatic U-turn for the better.
Stephen has committed to staying in France and making a few changes to give him the extra dynamism and excitement that he wants to add to his life.
If you fancy a restful holiday far from the maddening crowd then check out www.lotvalleygite.com.
How can I develop belief in myself?
Answer by Mike Blissett
Jean asks:
I am extremely lucky. I have a lovely life, have just moved to France for a year and am writing courses in child psychology.
My problem is I was born into a poor family and left school with no qualifications. Although I now have a degree in child psychology, am a qualified lecturer in child care I still think I am not worthy/clever/do not deserve etc.
My aim is to write a book. How can I develop belief in myself?
Mike says:
Knowing how lucky we are in life is important - so long as we don't then use the information to beat ourselves up. Very often success makes us weary, 'surely I don't deserve this/I'm not good enough/brainy enough'
(you know the story). Ouch!
I personally find writing to be one of the best therapies, and since you wish to write anyway you have a head start on most. Write down all your beliefs; 'I am ...' and off you go. Many a time I have done this and can easily fill a complete side of A4 (at least 50).
Separate the positives from the negatives, then with the negative beliefs systematically go through each and every one and disprove it to yourself. Imagine you're a lawyer; what would you say to blow this little gremlin right out of the water? For example, 'I am not clever enough' could begin by declaring, 'I have a degree, speak 2 languages, am about to write a book, I write courses in child psychology...' etc, you get the idea.
Write at least a paragraph on each, read it back, read it aloud, make what you've written emotional and strong, and then read it many times each day for a month.
Negative beliefs are just habits; habits of thought - and by systematically replacing them with positive new ones, we create new more empowering beliefs.
Go on, support yourself 100% - begin today!!
Jean asks:
I am extremely lucky. I have a lovely life, have just moved to France for a year and am writing courses in child psychology.
My problem is I was born into a poor family and left school with no qualifications. Although I now have a degree in child psychology, am a qualified lecturer in child care I still think I am not worthy/clever/do not deserve etc.
My aim is to write a book. How can I develop belief in myself?
Mike says:
Knowing how lucky we are in life is important - so long as we don't then use the information to beat ourselves up. Very often success makes us weary, 'surely I don't deserve this/I'm not good enough/brainy enough'
(you know the story). Ouch!
I personally find writing to be one of the best therapies, and since you wish to write anyway you have a head start on most. Write down all your beliefs; 'I am ...' and off you go. Many a time I have done this and can easily fill a complete side of A4 (at least 50).
Separate the positives from the negatives, then with the negative beliefs systematically go through each and every one and disprove it to yourself. Imagine you're a lawyer; what would you say to blow this little gremlin right out of the water? For example, 'I am not clever enough' could begin by declaring, 'I have a degree, speak 2 languages, am about to write a book, I write courses in child psychology...' etc, you get the idea.
Write at least a paragraph on each, read it back, read it aloud, make what you've written emotional and strong, and then read it many times each day for a month.
Negative beliefs are just habits; habits of thought - and by systematically replacing them with positive new ones, we create new more empowering beliefs.
Go on, support yourself 100% - begin today!!
Watch Your Language
It's brilliant to be involved with Fiona's Success Groups, attending my first one last Saturday.
Hearing so many great ideas and sensing that buzz you only feel when in the company of like minded “can do” people left me feeling exhilarated and refreshed in equal measure.
It's amazing what a couple of hours on a Saturday morning can do for the soul.
This week the subject was “Self Belief,” looking at the evidence to support you in your quest for... well, whatever your new life-plan happens to be. So many great ideas and visions can up and were discussed in both the whole group forum, as well as the smaller 3 person-planning segment.
Talking with Fiona afterwards I asked myself what can I bring to my time with the group, especially as someone with a background in Hypnotherapy and NLP as well as Career Coaching?
Representations
Known as a “waking hypnosis,” NLP is the study of communication; the words and representations we use both internally (that inner voice) or externally.
I mention the word “representations” since “it's not what you say, but how you say it” that can make such a huge difference to your life and the results you have.
Imagine someone saying “I love you” whilst looking into your eyes, soft voice, candles shimmering over a beautiful table in the most romantic restaurant.
Fabulous, right? Then imagine how it might feel for someone having been beaten, cowering in fear, with their tormentor screaming with anger that they only do it because they love them. Same words. Two completely different worlds.
Context
So, the words we use are important, as are the tonality and context they're said in. The third and final area of communication is in our physiology, our body, how we look, stand, or carry ourselves.
Think back to some of Fiona's best tips; “look the part/dress to impress/act 'as if'/be aware of who your peer group are,” then ask yourself how you could improve the communication you have with yourself and those around you.
What matters most in communication - words, how we say them, or what we look like? You might be surprised:
Physiology = 55%
Tonality = 38%
Words = 7%
So in essence, words are vitality important – and so is the way you say it, and how you carry yourself physically when you say it.
Fiona mentioned at Saturday's workshop how one of the secret ingredients to making a plan or project work is to add feeling, to get excited, to bubble with anticipation.
Say what you mean
Clean language is saying what you mean. Think how you talk to and about yourself? Are you supportive, complementary - or your own worst critic, first in line to doubt any bright idea?
Hear are a few examples of what clean language might look like as opposed to the disempowering messages we sometimes opt for.
I really believe I’d be great at this. (clean)
I'm not sure, but I think if all goes well and I don't run out of money first I might be good. (disempowering!)
I will take these steps because they will lead me forward. (clean)
I'll try, and if I don't fail who knows where they'll take me. (disempowering!)
What I really want to do is this. (clean)
I don’t know what I want. I did want to do this, but I worry I won’t get support and I'll look a fool and I won’t be any good. (disempowering!)
Of course, I accentuated the disempowering phrases... but, when you think about it, have you ever heard anyone come up with phrases similar to those above?
In conclusion, my aim over the next couple of months working with all the wonderful Success Group people is for us all to use clean language when talking of our projects and plans.
Find a model
Of course, the ultimate aim would be to decide once and for all to only ever use clean language from this moment on.
If you did, who might you be able to model as a guiding light of how the positive effects of using clean language could be???
My own personal model has always been Fiona. More than anyone else I've known in the personal development world, she really does walk-her-talk.
So, there you are, not only do you now have one of the best motivators around, you also have a shining beacon of clean language.
Top tips
1. Listen and become aware of how many times you belittle or reduce your light in the world. We all do it sometimes, and just imagine if we did it less how we might then shine more?
2. Make a list of negatives you use. 'Can't, won't, don't, shouldn't' etc. Thing is, the unconscious mind doesn't process negatives; so 'I don't want to be a smoker' really becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, 'I do want to be a smoker'. Ouch! Not nice. Make a list every time you say anything negative. Write it down.
3. Look at your plan and see if it can be written in a more positive, enthusiastic, fun, strong, and loving way. In fact, do it anyway! Plans tend to happen more rapidly when we work 'on' them and 'in' them, meaning they need developing and growing just as surely as you grow and develop.
4. Tonality - even when you're in a new place in your life, make it sound fabulous and confidant. Fiona's tip for Saturday's Success Group was to 'act as if'. Sounding confident and self-assured about your project will increase your effectiveness, and you will find yourself believing it too, sooner than you think. Practice to a mirror, to a friend, your coach, the world – do it!
5. Physiology. 55%. This is the most instant way to feel better, and for other people to see the difference; walk taller (in every way). Look the part, walk the part, play the part, and finally you will become the part.
30% Discount!
That's right; attendees of all Success Groups can get a 30% discount for all Career Coaching, NLP or Hypnotherapy if booked with me by 30th June 2007 and completed by end of September (including appointments at my Harley Street Practice).
For more information, call me on 020 8920 0847, or email mike@fionaharrold.com
Hearing so many great ideas and sensing that buzz you only feel when in the company of like minded “can do” people left me feeling exhilarated and refreshed in equal measure.
It's amazing what a couple of hours on a Saturday morning can do for the soul.
This week the subject was “Self Belief,” looking at the evidence to support you in your quest for... well, whatever your new life-plan happens to be. So many great ideas and visions can up and were discussed in both the whole group forum, as well as the smaller 3 person-planning segment.
Talking with Fiona afterwards I asked myself what can I bring to my time with the group, especially as someone with a background in Hypnotherapy and NLP as well as Career Coaching?
Representations
Known as a “waking hypnosis,” NLP is the study of communication; the words and representations we use both internally (that inner voice) or externally.
I mention the word “representations” since “it's not what you say, but how you say it” that can make such a huge difference to your life and the results you have.
Imagine someone saying “I love you” whilst looking into your eyes, soft voice, candles shimmering over a beautiful table in the most romantic restaurant.
Fabulous, right? Then imagine how it might feel for someone having been beaten, cowering in fear, with their tormentor screaming with anger that they only do it because they love them. Same words. Two completely different worlds.
Context
So, the words we use are important, as are the tonality and context they're said in. The third and final area of communication is in our physiology, our body, how we look, stand, or carry ourselves.
Think back to some of Fiona's best tips; “look the part/dress to impress/act 'as if'/be aware of who your peer group are,” then ask yourself how you could improve the communication you have with yourself and those around you.
What matters most in communication - words, how we say them, or what we look like? You might be surprised:
Physiology = 55%
Tonality = 38%
Words = 7%
So in essence, words are vitality important – and so is the way you say it, and how you carry yourself physically when you say it.
Fiona mentioned at Saturday's workshop how one of the secret ingredients to making a plan or project work is to add feeling, to get excited, to bubble with anticipation.
Say what you mean
Clean language is saying what you mean. Think how you talk to and about yourself? Are you supportive, complementary - or your own worst critic, first in line to doubt any bright idea?
Hear are a few examples of what clean language might look like as opposed to the disempowering messages we sometimes opt for.
I really believe I’d be great at this. (clean)
I'm not sure, but I think if all goes well and I don't run out of money first I might be good. (disempowering!)
I will take these steps because they will lead me forward. (clean)
I'll try, and if I don't fail who knows where they'll take me. (disempowering!)
What I really want to do is this. (clean)
I don’t know what I want. I did want to do this, but I worry I won’t get support and I'll look a fool and I won’t be any good. (disempowering!)
Of course, I accentuated the disempowering phrases... but, when you think about it, have you ever heard anyone come up with phrases similar to those above?
In conclusion, my aim over the next couple of months working with all the wonderful Success Group people is for us all to use clean language when talking of our projects and plans.
Find a model
Of course, the ultimate aim would be to decide once and for all to only ever use clean language from this moment on.
If you did, who might you be able to model as a guiding light of how the positive effects of using clean language could be???
My own personal model has always been Fiona. More than anyone else I've known in the personal development world, she really does walk-her-talk.
So, there you are, not only do you now have one of the best motivators around, you also have a shining beacon of clean language.
Top tips
1. Listen and become aware of how many times you belittle or reduce your light in the world. We all do it sometimes, and just imagine if we did it less how we might then shine more?
2. Make a list of negatives you use. 'Can't, won't, don't, shouldn't' etc. Thing is, the unconscious mind doesn't process negatives; so 'I don't want to be a smoker' really becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, 'I do want to be a smoker'. Ouch! Not nice. Make a list every time you say anything negative. Write it down.
3. Look at your plan and see if it can be written in a more positive, enthusiastic, fun, strong, and loving way. In fact, do it anyway! Plans tend to happen more rapidly when we work 'on' them and 'in' them, meaning they need developing and growing just as surely as you grow and develop.
4. Tonality - even when you're in a new place in your life, make it sound fabulous and confidant. Fiona's tip for Saturday's Success Group was to 'act as if'. Sounding confident and self-assured about your project will increase your effectiveness, and you will find yourself believing it too, sooner than you think. Practice to a mirror, to a friend, your coach, the world – do it!
5. Physiology. 55%. This is the most instant way to feel better, and for other people to see the difference; walk taller (in every way). Look the part, walk the part, play the part, and finally you will become the part.
30% Discount!
That's right; attendees of all Success Groups can get a 30% discount for all Career Coaching, NLP or Hypnotherapy if booked with me by 30th June 2007 and completed by end of September (including appointments at my Harley Street Practice).
For more information, call me on 020 8920 0847, or email mike@fionaharrold.com
Marketing YOU
What's the difference between you and outrageously successful people like Bill Gates, Anita Roddick or Richard Branson? Is it their money, their good looks, their education, where they live or who their parents are?
It's none of those things.
The only difference between Bill Gates, Anita Rodick, Richard Branson and you is the way you think. You know those thoughts that go on between your ears, that tell you whether or not you can do something? These guys didn't listen.
These guys had visions that they believed in, and whether they started from a kitchen table or in their garage, they knew that there was no room to entertain self-doubt.
Get Into Action!
They believed in what they were doing and they got into action. When you are in business, whether it is Anita Roddick’s Body Shop - or Jane’s Hair and Beauty Salon -it makes no difference.
To be successful you are going to have to learn how to market YOU. You must learn how to be your own brand and create a niche that represents your talents and your vision.
So let me ask you some questions.
Do your prospects need you?
Do you have any idea how to create an urgent need in people who have not even heard of you?
Do you know how to position yourself as an expert and inspire belief in others so that they say, “yes” far more often than they say “no”?
If you answered yes to the above, then fabulous. I congratulate you on being an expert marketer and having a product or service that this so unique or well priced (or both) that no one can resist climbing on board. You are probably already experiencing well-deserved major league success.
Know Your Niche
However if you replied no to any of the above, then I believe you still have work to do. The vital key is to define your own specific niche. If you are serious about creating a successful business that is sustainable over the long term and that will give you huge returns on your investment of time and money, you must know how to position yourself in the market place.
Every day I coach clients who tell me that they are estate agents, or accountants; coaches, or trainers; dentists or health professionals etc etc.
"Hi, I’m Jill and I’m a Results Coach." " Hello I’m Jim and I’m an Estate Agent." "Good Morning I’m Anna and I’m a herbalist."
When people introduce themselves like that to you, are you excited? Are you running to find out what you need to do to procure their services? Are you walking or even crawling?
I doubt it.
It’s not enough to introduce yourself in generic terms.
Problem Solving
I need to know that you can ease my pain, that you can solve my problem, that you can fulfil my needs.
You need to be very clear, very quickly how you can do that for me because I (like the rest of Joe Public) have a very short attention span.
How many people even hang around even a couple more seconds if a web page doesn’t come to life immediately? Click. And on to the next one. Patience is not a virtue of the 21st Century.
You need to be able to give it to me quickly. I need to be able to connect with you immediately. I need to be left curious and wondering, and wanting to hear more.
Lets take John. He has it right. When anyone asks him what he does, he tells them he shoots things and blows them up.
What on earth does that conjure up for you? How about Elaine? At just under 5ft tall, she told me she was a weight lifter.
She looked very much like she could be blown over in a light breeze! However I was intrigued by both answers. I was surprised and curious. I wanted to find out more.
It turned out that John was a... photographer and Elaine was a... stress counsellor.
Isn’t that great? And I will never forget either of them.
They have niched their businesses and have found a way of telling people what they do in a way that always gets them remembered. This is vital in today’s competitive market.
No question about it. If you are not remembered, guess what? You are forgotten. It’s no longer enough to be ordinary, even if you are excellent at what you do.
Express Yourself
Unless you express yourself in an extra-ordinary way there is nothing to distinguish you from the rest of them. You may as well go back to the day job. Building a sustainable business means finding the edge, expressing yourself in an unforgettable way and making yourself stand out from the crowd.
There are millions of photographers and thousands of stress counsellors, but John and Elaine stand out for me, so who am I likely to go to for my promotional photographs? Who will I recommend my stressed out clients to?
The good news is that this can be learned.
If you have the right set of operating instructions you will succeed. First and foremost you need to know how you want to operate your business and align it with your vision and values.
Strategy
You need to know who your target market is. You need to create a strategy that homes in on the people who need what you have to offer.
You have to find the expert within so that you believe in your soul that you can fulfil the need. You need to be able to express yourself with confidence and create an urgent need in the people you meet.
It's none of those things.
The only difference between Bill Gates, Anita Rodick, Richard Branson and you is the way you think. You know those thoughts that go on between your ears, that tell you whether or not you can do something? These guys didn't listen.
These guys had visions that they believed in, and whether they started from a kitchen table or in their garage, they knew that there was no room to entertain self-doubt.
Get Into Action!
They believed in what they were doing and they got into action. When you are in business, whether it is Anita Roddick’s Body Shop - or Jane’s Hair and Beauty Salon -it makes no difference.
To be successful you are going to have to learn how to market YOU. You must learn how to be your own brand and create a niche that represents your talents and your vision.
So let me ask you some questions.
Do your prospects need you?
Do you have any idea how to create an urgent need in people who have not even heard of you?
Do you know how to position yourself as an expert and inspire belief in others so that they say, “yes” far more often than they say “no”?
If you answered yes to the above, then fabulous. I congratulate you on being an expert marketer and having a product or service that this so unique or well priced (or both) that no one can resist climbing on board. You are probably already experiencing well-deserved major league success.
Know Your Niche
However if you replied no to any of the above, then I believe you still have work to do. The vital key is to define your own specific niche. If you are serious about creating a successful business that is sustainable over the long term and that will give you huge returns on your investment of time and money, you must know how to position yourself in the market place.
Every day I coach clients who tell me that they are estate agents, or accountants; coaches, or trainers; dentists or health professionals etc etc.
"Hi, I’m Jill and I’m a Results Coach." " Hello I’m Jim and I’m an Estate Agent." "Good Morning I’m Anna and I’m a herbalist."
When people introduce themselves like that to you, are you excited? Are you running to find out what you need to do to procure their services? Are you walking or even crawling?
I doubt it.
It’s not enough to introduce yourself in generic terms.
Problem Solving
I need to know that you can ease my pain, that you can solve my problem, that you can fulfil my needs.
You need to be very clear, very quickly how you can do that for me because I (like the rest of Joe Public) have a very short attention span.
How many people even hang around even a couple more seconds if a web page doesn’t come to life immediately? Click. And on to the next one. Patience is not a virtue of the 21st Century.
You need to be able to give it to me quickly. I need to be able to connect with you immediately. I need to be left curious and wondering, and wanting to hear more.
Lets take John. He has it right. When anyone asks him what he does, he tells them he shoots things and blows them up.
What on earth does that conjure up for you? How about Elaine? At just under 5ft tall, she told me she was a weight lifter.
She looked very much like she could be blown over in a light breeze! However I was intrigued by both answers. I was surprised and curious. I wanted to find out more.
It turned out that John was a... photographer and Elaine was a... stress counsellor.
Isn’t that great? And I will never forget either of them.
They have niched their businesses and have found a way of telling people what they do in a way that always gets them remembered. This is vital in today’s competitive market.
No question about it. If you are not remembered, guess what? You are forgotten. It’s no longer enough to be ordinary, even if you are excellent at what you do.
Express Yourself
Unless you express yourself in an extra-ordinary way there is nothing to distinguish you from the rest of them. You may as well go back to the day job. Building a sustainable business means finding the edge, expressing yourself in an unforgettable way and making yourself stand out from the crowd.
There are millions of photographers and thousands of stress counsellors, but John and Elaine stand out for me, so who am I likely to go to for my promotional photographs? Who will I recommend my stressed out clients to?
The good news is that this can be learned.
If you have the right set of operating instructions you will succeed. First and foremost you need to know how you want to operate your business and align it with your vision and values.
Strategy
You need to know who your target market is. You need to create a strategy that homes in on the people who need what you have to offer.
You have to find the expert within so that you believe in your soul that you can fulfil the need. You need to be able to express yourself with confidence and create an urgent need in the people you meet.
The Right Kind Of Success
Stephen Covey talked about the disappointment of finally getting to the top of the ladder of success, only to find it was leaning against the wrong wall.
I had been standing on that ladder for a couple of years trying to figure out how to move it on to a better wall without falling until I joined Fiona’s recent Success Group.
It all seems so obvious now; just step off the ladder, and put it against the right wall.
Support
Simple but scary. I needed to work through the 7 Rules of Success with the support of Fiona and the group to really believe that this was a risk not just worth taking but one I had to embrace if I wanted to be true to my real purpose and the vision for my life. Just as Covey says
“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.”
I have worked hard for years to build up my qualifications and experience to forge a career in the NHS.
I left school without taking any exams, and always felt limited by my lack of qualifications. So after having four children in as many years, I decided it was time to put that limiting belief to rest.
I took GCSE and A levels and was totally shocked to find I was accepted at Sheffield University to take a degree in Psychology. Post-graduate studies, Coaching qualifications and NLP practitioner qualifications never convinced me I was clever enough.
The Wrong Wall
Getting one promotion after another until I was working on a major national NHS programme at the top of my field still didn’t fill the lack I felt. I was just getting further up the wrong wall.
The Success Group helped me to really challenge those self-limiting beliefs and identify my purpose, passion and destiny. In the first week, Fiona spent about ten minutes with me and my passion was bubbling.
Every session I went to after that I was working on that passion but always holding back knowing that the one risk I needed to take was impossible; to give up my well-paid job and follow my heart inspiring people like me to reach further than the limitations they have set themselves.
Perseverance
On week six we started on the rule of perseverance and everything changed. Mike Blissett, Fiona’s assistant, and my fabulous group members really challenged my beliefs.
They helped me to recognise my uniqueness and the value of vulnerability in someone working with others to grow. Fiona had started the session with the quotation from explorer W H Murray that I had read a million times but it had never before had the potency it had on that day:
“Until one is committed there is always hesitancy, the chance to draw back always ineffectiveness. The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.”
I took on all the actions I had committed to at that session and within a week I had resigned from my job to start out full-time as a coach and workshop facilitator.
Providence has certainly moved in. I have gathered lots of support and opportunities and the scary feelings have turned into excitement.
I can honestly say I feel truly alive for the first time in years.
I know I have taken a major risk but I also know I could never have authentically coached anyone to live the life they dream unless I was doing that myself.
“Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”
Whatever you are dreaming of I would urge you to take up Fiona’s challenge of accepting the risk that is right in front of you.
We all get to decide what our own interpretation of a success ladder looks like. Once I took the risk of climbing down from the wrong one, I can now see all the other walls that is possible for me to climb.
I had been standing on that ladder for a couple of years trying to figure out how to move it on to a better wall without falling until I joined Fiona’s recent Success Group.
It all seems so obvious now; just step off the ladder, and put it against the right wall.
Support
Simple but scary. I needed to work through the 7 Rules of Success with the support of Fiona and the group to really believe that this was a risk not just worth taking but one I had to embrace if I wanted to be true to my real purpose and the vision for my life. Just as Covey says
“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.”
I have worked hard for years to build up my qualifications and experience to forge a career in the NHS.
I left school without taking any exams, and always felt limited by my lack of qualifications. So after having four children in as many years, I decided it was time to put that limiting belief to rest.
I took GCSE and A levels and was totally shocked to find I was accepted at Sheffield University to take a degree in Psychology. Post-graduate studies, Coaching qualifications and NLP practitioner qualifications never convinced me I was clever enough.
The Wrong Wall
Getting one promotion after another until I was working on a major national NHS programme at the top of my field still didn’t fill the lack I felt. I was just getting further up the wrong wall.
The Success Group helped me to really challenge those self-limiting beliefs and identify my purpose, passion and destiny. In the first week, Fiona spent about ten minutes with me and my passion was bubbling.
Every session I went to after that I was working on that passion but always holding back knowing that the one risk I needed to take was impossible; to give up my well-paid job and follow my heart inspiring people like me to reach further than the limitations they have set themselves.
Perseverance
On week six we started on the rule of perseverance and everything changed. Mike Blissett, Fiona’s assistant, and my fabulous group members really challenged my beliefs.
They helped me to recognise my uniqueness and the value of vulnerability in someone working with others to grow. Fiona had started the session with the quotation from explorer W H Murray that I had read a million times but it had never before had the potency it had on that day:
“Until one is committed there is always hesitancy, the chance to draw back always ineffectiveness. The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.”
I took on all the actions I had committed to at that session and within a week I had resigned from my job to start out full-time as a coach and workshop facilitator.
Providence has certainly moved in. I have gathered lots of support and opportunities and the scary feelings have turned into excitement.
I can honestly say I feel truly alive for the first time in years.
I know I have taken a major risk but I also know I could never have authentically coached anyone to live the life they dream unless I was doing that myself.
“Boldness has genius, power and magic in it”
Whatever you are dreaming of I would urge you to take up Fiona’s challenge of accepting the risk that is right in front of you.
We all get to decide what our own interpretation of a success ladder looks like. Once I took the risk of climbing down from the wrong one, I can now see all the other walls that is possible for me to climb.
Five Top Tips To Create Maximum Impact In Minimum Time
1. What makes YOU special?
Discover your uniqueness – what are you expert at? What do you know more about than anyone else you know?
2. Be intriguing
Learn to express yourself – find an unforgettable way of making an impact.
3. Practise makes perfect
Practise your networking techniques whenever and wherever possible. The more you express yourself the better you will get at it.
4. Polish your skills
Join Toastmasters to improve your presentation skills or a BNI breakfast meeting to learn how to make maximum impact in minimum time
5. Show Up!
You have nothing better to do than do what you do better than anyone else.
Discover your uniqueness – what are you expert at? What do you know more about than anyone else you know?
2. Be intriguing
Learn to express yourself – find an unforgettable way of making an impact.
3. Practise makes perfect
Practise your networking techniques whenever and wherever possible. The more you express yourself the better you will get at it.
4. Polish your skills
Join Toastmasters to improve your presentation skills or a BNI breakfast meeting to learn how to make maximum impact in minimum time
5. Show Up!
You have nothing better to do than do what you do better than anyone else.
Five Top Tips To Express Yourself Successfully
1. Get started
It's important to get straight to work with understanding where you are as regards expressing yourself right now. I want you to begin what will be an open list for the next 7 days: "areas I'm not expressing myself sufficiently right now are..."
Open lists are the best, since time and again the best ideas we have tend to come with time. As with all coaching, it’s important to know where you’re starting from. So let’s have it. Remember, this is between you and nobody else, so be honest!
2. Tools of the trade
Let's start to chunk down a little, starting with work - and if you don't work outside the home, you could apply this to any domestic or community work you do. "What do I need at work to perform at my best?" Write down your answers. E.g: positive feedback, meetings that begin and end on time, flexi time, further training, etc
Now move on to home and personal life and ask the same question, "what do I need in (X situation) in order to perform at my best?"
3. Take responsibility
Take responsibility for your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. Use "I" statements for clarity. Then it's clear who is saying what - "I want some coffee;" "I think it's too late to go;" "I am happy." A variation on an "I" message uses "my" - "my opinion, my belief, my preference is" etc.
Statements such as "I think we feel," "It seems we," or "I believe we," are statements which try to speak for a group. This is presumptuous, since you can only speak for yourself with honesty. If you want to find out others’ opinions and views, ask them. Remember, responsibility begins with YOU!
4. Establish your aim
Everything you write, on paper or electronically, must have a specific reason for being written. If you can't think of a reason, don't waste time on it at all! Decide what information is necessary in achieving your aim.
Don’t swamp the reader with too many details and options – just give them (i.e. you) the outcome of your thoughts by applying your expertise to the information. Decide what is relevant, and state it precisely and concisely.
5. Give specific feedback
If you're bothering to give someone feedback, be specific - generalized statements leave them shortchanged and don't allow you to express your true thoughts and feelings.
"Oh, that was very nice/you’re always good/ saved the day again" never quite hits the mark. Think back to the last time you had such feedback – did you feel just a little shortchanged?
Wouldn’t you have felt more recognized if your achievements (the best bits) were hauled up and repeated for all, and you, to hear?
When you give feedback, whether they’ve been a star or failed massively, pick at least 3 specifics where they succeeded, things they did well, something in their manner or character that shone through. Remember, a minimum of three.
It's important to get straight to work with understanding where you are as regards expressing yourself right now. I want you to begin what will be an open list for the next 7 days: "areas I'm not expressing myself sufficiently right now are..."
Open lists are the best, since time and again the best ideas we have tend to come with time. As with all coaching, it’s important to know where you’re starting from. So let’s have it. Remember, this is between you and nobody else, so be honest!
2. Tools of the trade
Let's start to chunk down a little, starting with work - and if you don't work outside the home, you could apply this to any domestic or community work you do. "What do I need at work to perform at my best?" Write down your answers. E.g: positive feedback, meetings that begin and end on time, flexi time, further training, etc
Now move on to home and personal life and ask the same question, "what do I need in (X situation) in order to perform at my best?"
3. Take responsibility
Take responsibility for your thoughts, beliefs and emotions. Use "I" statements for clarity. Then it's clear who is saying what - "I want some coffee;" "I think it's too late to go;" "I am happy." A variation on an "I" message uses "my" - "my opinion, my belief, my preference is" etc.
Statements such as "I think we feel," "It seems we," or "I believe we," are statements which try to speak for a group. This is presumptuous, since you can only speak for yourself with honesty. If you want to find out others’ opinions and views, ask them. Remember, responsibility begins with YOU!
4. Establish your aim
Everything you write, on paper or electronically, must have a specific reason for being written. If you can't think of a reason, don't waste time on it at all! Decide what information is necessary in achieving your aim.
Don’t swamp the reader with too many details and options – just give them (i.e. you) the outcome of your thoughts by applying your expertise to the information. Decide what is relevant, and state it precisely and concisely.
5. Give specific feedback
If you're bothering to give someone feedback, be specific - generalized statements leave them shortchanged and don't allow you to express your true thoughts and feelings.
"Oh, that was very nice/you’re always good/ saved the day again" never quite hits the mark. Think back to the last time you had such feedback – did you feel just a little shortchanged?
Wouldn’t you have felt more recognized if your achievements (the best bits) were hauled up and repeated for all, and you, to hear?
When you give feedback, whether they’ve been a star or failed massively, pick at least 3 specifics where they succeeded, things they did well, something in their manner or character that shone through. Remember, a minimum of three.
5 Tips for Career Success
Sue Clarke's Top Tips for nurturing your career:
1. See yourself as others see you.
It's easy to forget when we go about the daily grind at work that everything we do speaks volumes about us.
Just for a minute, imagine that a secret camera is following you around, watching your every move and listening in to your conversations. Imagine too that the footage is going to end up on the MD's desk. When it does, would what he or she sees and hears make you cringe in the slightest? Do you need to lift your game?
If so, what do you need to do, or stop doing, right now? Make a new commitment: 'I'm great on camera!'
2. Make a positive difference.
Look for ways that you can make a difference and contribute to the success of your company.
How can you help your company make money, save costs, make procedures smoother, raise customer satisfaction, make your team stronger…?
How can you share your ideas and your knowledge to the benefit of your company?
Get involved. Seek out new challenges. As the American poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, 'The world belongs to the energetic'. And remember The Pareto Principle: no matter what you do, 80% of the rewards result from just 20% of the activities - so act strategically and make sure your fifth shines the spotlight on your strengths and positive attributes.
3. Use Performance Reviews properly.
Most companies offer annual, or more regular, performance appraisals that give you an opportunity to discuss your performance with your boss. They focus on what you do well; what you could improve. Most review systems then follow this with a formal performance rating. If this happens with you, make sure you know what you need to do in order to achieve the next level of rating.
Ask your boss to be specific. For example, ask: 'What exactly do I need to be doing differently in order to get to the next performance level, and how will you measure me?' Make it clear to your boss that you want to have detailed advice. Don't accept a woolly answer.
Be sure you know exactly what things are going to be rewarded. Your goal is to leave the room with a clear understanding of what it is you need to do, how you need to change, and how you will be measured. Then focus on this accordingly - go do what you have to do.
Be the best! (Oh, and if your company doesn't do reviews, have the conversation with your boss anyway.)
4. Think beyond your immediate sphere of influence.
You may be liked and respected by your boss and your team, but is that enough? Who else is aware of your existence and what you can do? No matter how supportive your boss and team are, they might not like to spread the word about you too positively in case someone else sees you and wants you. It's human nature - we don't like to let go of a good thing, no matter how unconsciously we do it. So get your light out from under that bushel!
How can you raise your profile and be more visible, communicating what you do and what you are capable of doing to significant others in the company?
Consider volunteering to represent your area in a company initiative (and take a positive, active role), or giving a presentation on your team's work and how it contributes to the company (and ask for suggestions on how it could contribute more), for instance.
Develop a wide network of contacts
Your career will be influenced by your relationships with others just as much as your competence on the job. Make sure you take every opportunity to keep getting to know people and what they do. Think about how they could help you, and even more important, how you can help then.
Get a mentor
Approach someone more senior in your organisation, not in your direct management tier, who you respect. Ask them if they will mentor you.
5. Invest in yourself.
Gone are the days (if they ever really existed) when you could expect your company to take responsibility for your development. You are responsible for yourself and your career: your success and your future are in your own hands.
Source training courses and workshops that will develop you or fill gaps in your skills and knowledge. If your employer is not able or willing to fund you, pay for yourself. As well as taking control of your own development, you'll make sure you attend events that you really do need. Go bespoke and get a career coach. As well as skilled performance coaching, you'll have a creative sounding board for your ideas and a totally objective viewpoint.
Build your confidence, overcome obstacles, develop your working relationships…Get help exactly where you need it, when you need it. Focus on what you need to focus on; tackle what you need to tackle. It's safe, it's fast - and it's fun!
1. See yourself as others see you.
It's easy to forget when we go about the daily grind at work that everything we do speaks volumes about us.
Just for a minute, imagine that a secret camera is following you around, watching your every move and listening in to your conversations. Imagine too that the footage is going to end up on the MD's desk. When it does, would what he or she sees and hears make you cringe in the slightest? Do you need to lift your game?
If so, what do you need to do, or stop doing, right now? Make a new commitment: 'I'm great on camera!'
2. Make a positive difference.
Look for ways that you can make a difference and contribute to the success of your company.
How can you help your company make money, save costs, make procedures smoother, raise customer satisfaction, make your team stronger…?
How can you share your ideas and your knowledge to the benefit of your company?
Get involved. Seek out new challenges. As the American poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, 'The world belongs to the energetic'. And remember The Pareto Principle: no matter what you do, 80% of the rewards result from just 20% of the activities - so act strategically and make sure your fifth shines the spotlight on your strengths and positive attributes.
3. Use Performance Reviews properly.
Most companies offer annual, or more regular, performance appraisals that give you an opportunity to discuss your performance with your boss. They focus on what you do well; what you could improve. Most review systems then follow this with a formal performance rating. If this happens with you, make sure you know what you need to do in order to achieve the next level of rating.
Ask your boss to be specific. For example, ask: 'What exactly do I need to be doing differently in order to get to the next performance level, and how will you measure me?' Make it clear to your boss that you want to have detailed advice. Don't accept a woolly answer.
Be sure you know exactly what things are going to be rewarded. Your goal is to leave the room with a clear understanding of what it is you need to do, how you need to change, and how you will be measured. Then focus on this accordingly - go do what you have to do.
Be the best! (Oh, and if your company doesn't do reviews, have the conversation with your boss anyway.)
4. Think beyond your immediate sphere of influence.
You may be liked and respected by your boss and your team, but is that enough? Who else is aware of your existence and what you can do? No matter how supportive your boss and team are, they might not like to spread the word about you too positively in case someone else sees you and wants you. It's human nature - we don't like to let go of a good thing, no matter how unconsciously we do it. So get your light out from under that bushel!
How can you raise your profile and be more visible, communicating what you do and what you are capable of doing to significant others in the company?
Consider volunteering to represent your area in a company initiative (and take a positive, active role), or giving a presentation on your team's work and how it contributes to the company (and ask for suggestions on how it could contribute more), for instance.
Develop a wide network of contacts
Your career will be influenced by your relationships with others just as much as your competence on the job. Make sure you take every opportunity to keep getting to know people and what they do. Think about how they could help you, and even more important, how you can help then.
Get a mentor
Approach someone more senior in your organisation, not in your direct management tier, who you respect. Ask them if they will mentor you.
5. Invest in yourself.
Gone are the days (if they ever really existed) when you could expect your company to take responsibility for your development. You are responsible for yourself and your career: your success and your future are in your own hands.
Source training courses and workshops that will develop you or fill gaps in your skills and knowledge. If your employer is not able or willing to fund you, pay for yourself. As well as taking control of your own development, you'll make sure you attend events that you really do need. Go bespoke and get a career coach. As well as skilled performance coaching, you'll have a creative sounding board for your ideas and a totally objective viewpoint.
Build your confidence, overcome obstacles, develop your working relationships…Get help exactly where you need it, when you need it. Focus on what you need to focus on; tackle what you need to tackle. It's safe, it's fast - and it's fun!
5 steps to Building Your Business
Step 1
Who are your ‘buyers’? Be very clear about what people you want to attract to your products or services.
Step 2
Be able to clearly state what you do and the benefits of working with you.
Step 3
Tell everyone you know what you are doing and invite them to refer people to you for a free consultation/chat/session.
Step 4
Create a marketing system that works and fills your pipeline with prospects.
Step 5
Always follow up, give more in value than you receive in cash, hold on to your vision and never ever give up!
Who are your ‘buyers’? Be very clear about what people you want to attract to your products or services.
Step 2
Be able to clearly state what you do and the benefits of working with you.
Step 3
Tell everyone you know what you are doing and invite them to refer people to you for a free consultation/chat/session.
Step 4
Create a marketing system that works and fills your pipeline with prospects.
Step 5
Always follow up, give more in value than you receive in cash, hold on to your vision and never ever give up!
Five Top Networking Tips
1. Know what you do, why you do it and who will benefit.
2. Create a network of people who have access to your niche market.
3. Understand the power of leverage.
4. Build relationships with your clients and your networks by keeping in touch with them regularly.
5. Be a giver – always be willing to give even more than you gain.
2. Create a network of people who have access to your niche market.
3. Understand the power of leverage.
4. Build relationships with your clients and your networks by keeping in touch with them regularly.
5. Be a giver – always be willing to give even more than you gain.
Coaching At Work
Do you manage a team of people?
Do you manage other managers or do you run a business with partners or staff?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then read on.
Making work, work for you
You know how sometimes you clearly delegate tasks to others and yet they often misunderstand and you don’t get what you wanted? And you know how difficult certain individuals can be about hearing your ideas and taking on board your opinions or requests?
Well, what if you could guarantee that you would always be heard and understood? What would it be like to delegate anything at all and 99.9% of the time get the results you were after?
I imagine you are thinking that’s some geographically inaccessible type of utopia. Think again. With the right kind of tools you could become a master your communication and be respected as someone who listens, understands and values their team and knows exactly how to inspire the very best in them. You could become a "coach at work."
Becoming a "coach" at work is absolutely necessary if you are to grow your team, increase productivity and motivate a workforce who feel valued and acknowledged.
Be the coach
The good news is that everyone can become a "coach at work." We have created the Coach at Work Toolkit, which provides you with the fundamental tools you need to be able to coach others in a way that wins their support and their loyalty.
By learning coaching skills that will allow you to understand the best way to work with each individual member of your team, there is no reason for you not to grow your team and your business.
The programme is tailored to fit your individual needs and that of your company. We design it specifically around the tools you need in your individual situation. An initial conversation will establish your needs and you’ll help us to design your perfect programme.
Because we bring the programme to you, you’ll avoid having to spend valuable time travelling and we’ll fit in with your timetable.
Moving forwards
From training you to become a "coach at work" we can take the programme to the next level. We have a uniquely designed workshop for teams to show them how to align their own personal values with that of their companies. We can show them how to use their own unique strengths in the workplace and encourage the strengths of others.
We can create teams that support and encourage each other to be the best that they all can be.
If you want a culture of co-operation, a team that is cohesive and powerful; if you want to make a real difference to the way your work with others, then you’ll benefit from everything the Coach at Work Toolkit has to offer.
To arrange your complimentary call with Francine to discuss the benefits for your company, email Francine@fionaharrold.com
5 special quotes for Coaching at Work
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel you too can become great"
Mark Twain
"Catch people in the act of doing something right"
Ken Blanchard
"Good treatment of workers results in similar treatment of customers"
Todd Englander
"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family"
Virginia Satir
"Modelling may not only be the best way to teach; it may be the only way to teach"
Albert Schweitzer
Do you manage other managers or do you run a business with partners or staff?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then read on.
Making work, work for you
You know how sometimes you clearly delegate tasks to others and yet they often misunderstand and you don’t get what you wanted? And you know how difficult certain individuals can be about hearing your ideas and taking on board your opinions or requests?
Well, what if you could guarantee that you would always be heard and understood? What would it be like to delegate anything at all and 99.9% of the time get the results you were after?
I imagine you are thinking that’s some geographically inaccessible type of utopia. Think again. With the right kind of tools you could become a master your communication and be respected as someone who listens, understands and values their team and knows exactly how to inspire the very best in them. You could become a "coach at work."
Becoming a "coach" at work is absolutely necessary if you are to grow your team, increase productivity and motivate a workforce who feel valued and acknowledged.
Be the coach
The good news is that everyone can become a "coach at work." We have created the Coach at Work Toolkit, which provides you with the fundamental tools you need to be able to coach others in a way that wins their support and their loyalty.
By learning coaching skills that will allow you to understand the best way to work with each individual member of your team, there is no reason for you not to grow your team and your business.
The programme is tailored to fit your individual needs and that of your company. We design it specifically around the tools you need in your individual situation. An initial conversation will establish your needs and you’ll help us to design your perfect programme.
Because we bring the programme to you, you’ll avoid having to spend valuable time travelling and we’ll fit in with your timetable.
Moving forwards
From training you to become a "coach at work" we can take the programme to the next level. We have a uniquely designed workshop for teams to show them how to align their own personal values with that of their companies. We can show them how to use their own unique strengths in the workplace and encourage the strengths of others.
We can create teams that support and encourage each other to be the best that they all can be.
If you want a culture of co-operation, a team that is cohesive and powerful; if you want to make a real difference to the way your work with others, then you’ll benefit from everything the Coach at Work Toolkit has to offer.
To arrange your complimentary call with Francine to discuss the benefits for your company, email Francine@fionaharrold.com
5 special quotes for Coaching at Work
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel you too can become great"
Mark Twain
"Catch people in the act of doing something right"
Ken Blanchard
"Good treatment of workers results in similar treatment of customers"
Todd Englander
"Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family"
Virginia Satir
"Modelling may not only be the best way to teach; it may be the only way to teach"
Albert Schweitzer
Five Ways To Know Your Niche
1. Know Your Outcome
What will your business ultimately achieve for your clients and for you?
2. Know Your Purpose
What's the point of doing this? For the sake of what? Ask yourself what would be missing if you didn't do it.
3. Know The Right Actions To Take
Have a plan of action that you consistently follow on a daily basis. Building a business takes planning and time. Know how to use your plan to escalate your productivity.
4. Be True To Yourself
Make sure your outcome is in alignment with your personal values. Will this business allow you to live your life in a way that satisfies and fulfils you, and creates financial security?
5. Build Your Network.
Understanding the Power of Networking is a vital component of any new business.
What will your business ultimately achieve for your clients and for you?
2. Know Your Purpose
What's the point of doing this? For the sake of what? Ask yourself what would be missing if you didn't do it.
3. Know The Right Actions To Take
Have a plan of action that you consistently follow on a daily basis. Building a business takes planning and time. Know how to use your plan to escalate your productivity.
4. Be True To Yourself
Make sure your outcome is in alignment with your personal values. Will this business allow you to live your life in a way that satisfies and fulfils you, and creates financial security?
5. Build Your Network.
Understanding the Power of Networking is a vital component of any new business.
Five Steps To Take Control Of Time
Step One
Know your desired outcome at all times. Each week look at what you want to achieve by the end of it. At the end of the week notice how much time you actually did spend achieving part of your desired outcomes.
Step Two
Be sure of your purpose. Why do you want to achieve this outcome? What will it provide you with? What’s its main purpose?
Step Three
Take the necessary actions. Is this easier said than done? What are the necessary actions you would have to take?
Step Four
What will you have to say no to? If you are sure you of what you want and why you want it, what will you have to eliminate in order to make the time you need to achieve your outcome?
Step Five
What would be the benefits to you and those around you if you knew how to tame your time? Staying focused on your reasons will give you the motivation to take control of your time, and your life.
Know your desired outcome at all times. Each week look at what you want to achieve by the end of it. At the end of the week notice how much time you actually did spend achieving part of your desired outcomes.
Step Two
Be sure of your purpose. Why do you want to achieve this outcome? What will it provide you with? What’s its main purpose?
Step Three
Take the necessary actions. Is this easier said than done? What are the necessary actions you would have to take?
Step Four
What will you have to say no to? If you are sure you of what you want and why you want it, what will you have to eliminate in order to make the time you need to achieve your outcome?
Step Five
What would be the benefits to you and those around you if you knew how to tame your time? Staying focused on your reasons will give you the motivation to take control of your time, and your life.
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