Thursday 22 May 2008
Self-Realization Through Emotional Restraint
Self-realization by restraining ones own emotions can be achieved in many ways. One has to come to terms with the three faculties of man: emotion, speech - words, and deeds. The combination of all three, or the implementation any of these will help us in obtaining our goal. The three faculties working in harmony can only result in the desired effect; once this is attained, accepting the others or their viewpoints become easy, lack of which could explain the escalating troubles all over the world.
To achieve a goal in life is what most people aspire. Therefore, it is paramount that one has something to look forward to in life, without which life has no real meaning. It is very easy to drift through life, quite laid back in situations saying, 'I am comfortable'; one should stop and reassess the situation, asking, 'shouldn't I have more commitment?' It's not enough just to say 'I am minding my own business without troubling anyone and therefore no hindrance to society'.
One could argue that it is a selfish act if it does not involve lending a helping hand where needed.
Emotionally charged situations can make even the most rational human being behave in an irrational manner or similarly, illness of self or the dear ones can lead to totally unexpected behavior.
All these only prove that complete harmony of our faculties is essential in self-realization and to stay in the right path in achieving our goal in life. Having a goal in life, be it a person, God or an institution, will provide us with the right motivation. There are many ways of measuring up to that goal; trying to please, emulate, or avoiding things that may not fit in with the ideals of our focus may be a few of them.
Our elders have told us, 'Think before you say anything'. How many of us put this into practice, knowing that it is true? One has to be aware of the difference in the impact of each, the thought process leading to the words and the deeds that follow. We should have control over our emotions and thoughts, or learn to control them before they enslave us.
One should always remember that the 'said words', the written words and the 'done deeds' couldn't be taken back and therefore, it is important to think before doing any of these; each has different impact in any given situation. It is easy to blame drinks, illness or unfortunate incidents to justify ones behavior, even though the recipients may be even kind enough to justify the other's actions blaming it on something or the other!
A bit of commonsense and understanding of fellow beings, or self-realization may be all that we need, to solve the problems that we face in the world today. We have seen mass killings in Palestine, Israel and the United States, where innocent people are suffering due to this. Disharmony of our three faculties, the inability to communicate with others and the fear of those whose views are different from our own, hold key to the devastation that we see before us.
Let's hope and pray for harmony, peace, and better understanding of one another. Self-realization of what one can achieve and what one should do to achieve it, should take each one of us to the culmination of that dream.
© E Menon 2008
To achieve a goal in life is what most people aspire. Therefore, it is paramount that one has something to look forward to in life, without which life has no real meaning. It is very easy to drift through life, quite laid back in situations saying, 'I am comfortable'; one should stop and reassess the situation, asking, 'shouldn't I have more commitment?' It's not enough just to say 'I am minding my own business without troubling anyone and therefore no hindrance to society'.
One could argue that it is a selfish act if it does not involve lending a helping hand where needed.
Emotionally charged situations can make even the most rational human being behave in an irrational manner or similarly, illness of self or the dear ones can lead to totally unexpected behavior.
All these only prove that complete harmony of our faculties is essential in self-realization and to stay in the right path in achieving our goal in life. Having a goal in life, be it a person, God or an institution, will provide us with the right motivation. There are many ways of measuring up to that goal; trying to please, emulate, or avoiding things that may not fit in with the ideals of our focus may be a few of them.
Our elders have told us, 'Think before you say anything'. How many of us put this into practice, knowing that it is true? One has to be aware of the difference in the impact of each, the thought process leading to the words and the deeds that follow. We should have control over our emotions and thoughts, or learn to control them before they enslave us.
One should always remember that the 'said words', the written words and the 'done deeds' couldn't be taken back and therefore, it is important to think before doing any of these; each has different impact in any given situation. It is easy to blame drinks, illness or unfortunate incidents to justify ones behavior, even though the recipients may be even kind enough to justify the other's actions blaming it on something or the other!
A bit of commonsense and understanding of fellow beings, or self-realization may be all that we need, to solve the problems that we face in the world today. We have seen mass killings in Palestine, Israel and the United States, where innocent people are suffering due to this. Disharmony of our three faculties, the inability to communicate with others and the fear of those whose views are different from our own, hold key to the devastation that we see before us.
Let's hope and pray for harmony, peace, and better understanding of one another. Self-realization of what one can achieve and what one should do to achieve it, should take each one of us to the culmination of that dream.
© E Menon 2008
The Problem With High Self-Esteem
One needs to define the meaning of self-esteem, before the much complex word 'high self-esteem' is considered. Dictionaries define self-esteem as," confidence and respect for oneself", or "how much a person likes, accepts, and respects himself, overall as a person". The National Association for Self-Esteem defines it as, " The experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness". A balanced high self-esteem is essential for the development of a healthy human being.
Healthy self-esteem, based on basic principles such as worthiness, competence, self-reliance and a genuine desire to love and accept others, enables one to face the challenges in life and emerge victorious in adverse situations. But, if the self-esteem is based on external factors such as ones appearance, family connections, place of birth or social status, it may give an inflated opinion of ones worth and competence from a very early stage in life. The outcome would be an individual with overly high self-esteem or unhealthy high self-esteem, which is unearned.
Self-esteem starts to build up from the time of birth and then on it is a gradual process, helped by ones parents, teachers, peers or society as a whole. It is very important to have good self-esteem during the formative years when one has many issues to deal with. Children may develop a tendency to have a low self-esteem or even an unhealthy high self-esteem that eventually turn into narcissism.
It is paramount that children at this stage are given support and training on basic principles and values in life, teaching them to have good balance between competence, accomplishments and self-worth. Any such training may be adversely affected by indiscriminate use of praise by the teachers and parents, in their attempt to make the children feel more confident. These children may reach adulthood without having understood the real meaning of healthy self-esteem; the pursuit of higher academic accomplishments may create individuals who feel superior, showing egotistical and patronizing behaviour patterns.
It is the over-inflated opinion of ones self-worth and ability that leads to the overly high self-esteem. One can get aggressive if threatened; showing destructive behaviour, drug abuse, drink driving, road-rage or violence, just to prove that one is superior. They also have a vulnerable side to their character that needs constant pampering and may even change or hide personal details to show supremacy over friends and colleagues, either to get a better job or a higher social standing.
Various problems in life can change the perception of people and how they analyse situations. It could be marital problems, financial ruin, alcohol or drug abuse that bring about the changes in ones life, having to resort to different methods to cover up the situation. One may show signs of an unhealthy high self-esteem or enter a phase of denial and pretend to be happy, or go to the other extreme showing signs of low self-esteem. This extreme behaviour pattern often happens when there is total imbalance between what one believes in and what one is capable of doing or the inability to recognise it, which could be the result of an over-inflated opinion of ones personal worth.
There are few people in any society with unhealthy self-esteem who have an uncontrollable urge to control everything. World History shows examples of 'people of small stature', trying to show the world that they are 'big'- Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler and Stalin are few of the examples. Mussolini, Ho-Chi-Min, Mao, King Herod, and Pol Pot are among those who believed in their inflated opinion of self worth. The egotistical, dictatorial and conceited behaviour of these men and many others like them have one thing in common, the self-worthiness becoming narcissism, showing the disharmony between their sense of values and behaviour.
High self-esteem should not be confused with an overly high self-esteem, though quite difficult to distinguish between the two at times. The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (1965) is the 'gold standard' measure, to arrive at the diagnosis. A sense of self worth, and a sense of ones own capabilities in good equilibrium: harmony between the psychological strength and behaviour could keep the 'overly high self-esteem' at bay.
A good balance between sense of worthiness and confidence in ones abilities is what is required in most situations. Self-education to become aware of the situation and a desire to change by seeking professional help, and interacting with close friends and immediate family would be most welcome and beneficial. But, holding on to the principles and values that one believes in and having the conviction to make the right choices when faced with adversities, one can enjoy a productive life.
© E Menon
I am Dr Elizabeth Menon, working in the UK. I love writing and my articles have been published in the UK and abroad. My hobbies include reading, writing, gardening, cooking, watching films, listening to music, helping environmental causes etc.
Please visit my homepage at: http://omana.net/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Elizabeth_Menon
Healthy self-esteem, based on basic principles such as worthiness, competence, self-reliance and a genuine desire to love and accept others, enables one to face the challenges in life and emerge victorious in adverse situations. But, if the self-esteem is based on external factors such as ones appearance, family connections, place of birth or social status, it may give an inflated opinion of ones worth and competence from a very early stage in life. The outcome would be an individual with overly high self-esteem or unhealthy high self-esteem, which is unearned.
Self-esteem starts to build up from the time of birth and then on it is a gradual process, helped by ones parents, teachers, peers or society as a whole. It is very important to have good self-esteem during the formative years when one has many issues to deal with. Children may develop a tendency to have a low self-esteem or even an unhealthy high self-esteem that eventually turn into narcissism.
It is paramount that children at this stage are given support and training on basic principles and values in life, teaching them to have good balance between competence, accomplishments and self-worth. Any such training may be adversely affected by indiscriminate use of praise by the teachers and parents, in their attempt to make the children feel more confident. These children may reach adulthood without having understood the real meaning of healthy self-esteem; the pursuit of higher academic accomplishments may create individuals who feel superior, showing egotistical and patronizing behaviour patterns.
It is the over-inflated opinion of ones self-worth and ability that leads to the overly high self-esteem. One can get aggressive if threatened; showing destructive behaviour, drug abuse, drink driving, road-rage or violence, just to prove that one is superior. They also have a vulnerable side to their character that needs constant pampering and may even change or hide personal details to show supremacy over friends and colleagues, either to get a better job or a higher social standing.
Various problems in life can change the perception of people and how they analyse situations. It could be marital problems, financial ruin, alcohol or drug abuse that bring about the changes in ones life, having to resort to different methods to cover up the situation. One may show signs of an unhealthy high self-esteem or enter a phase of denial and pretend to be happy, or go to the other extreme showing signs of low self-esteem. This extreme behaviour pattern often happens when there is total imbalance between what one believes in and what one is capable of doing or the inability to recognise it, which could be the result of an over-inflated opinion of ones personal worth.
There are few people in any society with unhealthy self-esteem who have an uncontrollable urge to control everything. World History shows examples of 'people of small stature', trying to show the world that they are 'big'- Julius Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler and Stalin are few of the examples. Mussolini, Ho-Chi-Min, Mao, King Herod, and Pol Pot are among those who believed in their inflated opinion of self worth. The egotistical, dictatorial and conceited behaviour of these men and many others like them have one thing in common, the self-worthiness becoming narcissism, showing the disharmony between their sense of values and behaviour.
High self-esteem should not be confused with an overly high self-esteem, though quite difficult to distinguish between the two at times. The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (1965) is the 'gold standard' measure, to arrive at the diagnosis. A sense of self worth, and a sense of ones own capabilities in good equilibrium: harmony between the psychological strength and behaviour could keep the 'overly high self-esteem' at bay.
A good balance between sense of worthiness and confidence in ones abilities is what is required in most situations. Self-education to become aware of the situation and a desire to change by seeking professional help, and interacting with close friends and immediate family would be most welcome and beneficial. But, holding on to the principles and values that one believes in and having the conviction to make the right choices when faced with adversities, one can enjoy a productive life.
© E Menon
I am Dr Elizabeth Menon, working in the UK. I love writing and my articles have been published in the UK and abroad. My hobbies include reading, writing, gardening, cooking, watching films, listening to music, helping environmental causes etc.
Please visit my homepage at: http://omana.net/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Elizabeth_Menon
Is Your Life Too Busy ?
OK, is your life too busy? Does it seem like you don't have time for yourself, your family or anything else? Are you glad breathing is an involuntary function, because if it wasn't you'd forget to breathe? Wow, you're like me! I am making adjustments in my life to change things. You should too. Things like saying no when someone asks you to do something. Let's explore this topic together and see what other things we can do to "buy" time.
I'm going to give you a couple examples to explain what I mean when I say, "just say no." Before I got back into the corporate world, I owned a construction business. So many people wanted work done (including friends) and because I needed the money and wanted to help people, I would always say yes to a job.
The problem was, I over booked myself. Now, in order to get everything done, I had to work longer days and sometimes Saturdays and Sundays. This put a lot of strain on my marriage and made for an awful home life. I was so tired, that I didn't have time for anything else. If I would have said no to a few of these jobs, I would have had a little less money, but much more time to do with as I chose.
You see, in life (as you probably know) there are always trade-offs. Before I discontinued my business, I was able to say no to people, but at that point it was a little to little and a little too late. I have learned from those mistakes.
Here is another thing that happened way back when. My wife and I are active members of our church. The Pastors and leaders of our church saw leadership potential in us and asked us to be a part of many different church ministries. We were ushers, host/hostess, home group leaders, in the music ministry, two different youth ministries, and a few others I can't remember because it's been so long now.
Each of these activities was only one night a week, but every one of our nights and weekends were booked solid. My wife and I had no time for each other. After getting some sound advice from some pastor friends of ours, we drop most of those ministries and regrouped. We had to say no.
If you want to free up some time to do the things that you want to do, you will have to say no. You will have to say no to things, to people, even to yourself when you yourself says, "you can do this." Let me repeat, just say no. If you currently have too much going on, drop some of the things you are doing. Here is a really good exercise you can do to help. For one week, write down activity you engage in and the length of time it takes you to do them, every one. This will include eating meals, sleep, work, watching tv, etc. When the week is over, review your lists. Are there any activities you can eliminate?
If you watch three hours of tv per night, cut down on your tv. Watch only an hour, maybe your favorite shows. If you have a hobby that takes a ton of your time, cut down on your hobby time. Prioritize your activities by ranking them 1 through whatever. Eliminate the trivial, idle things in your life that don't amount to much. Trade that time for family time or time for something else you need time for. Again, just say no.
When you are too busy and have too much going on, you are unable to do things well. If you are working 8 hours a day, have a wife and kids at home, have extracurricular activities, are finishing you bachelor's degree (which also means homework) you are not going to be the best worker, parent, and student. I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. I'm sure you all have some good ideas on freeing up time, so email me.
Mike Bova is the Madison County Advertising Director & Business Columnist for Eagle Newspapers in Syracuse, NY. Mike owns several websites including The Upstate New York Shopping And Business Directory. Mike has spoken in front of many business groups, shattered a lot of sales records, conducted several sales training seminars and trains corporate sales staffs how to sell more. Mike is launching his own site soon.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Bova
I'm going to give you a couple examples to explain what I mean when I say, "just say no." Before I got back into the corporate world, I owned a construction business. So many people wanted work done (including friends) and because I needed the money and wanted to help people, I would always say yes to a job.
The problem was, I over booked myself. Now, in order to get everything done, I had to work longer days and sometimes Saturdays and Sundays. This put a lot of strain on my marriage and made for an awful home life. I was so tired, that I didn't have time for anything else. If I would have said no to a few of these jobs, I would have had a little less money, but much more time to do with as I chose.
You see, in life (as you probably know) there are always trade-offs. Before I discontinued my business, I was able to say no to people, but at that point it was a little to little and a little too late. I have learned from those mistakes.
Here is another thing that happened way back when. My wife and I are active members of our church. The Pastors and leaders of our church saw leadership potential in us and asked us to be a part of many different church ministries. We were ushers, host/hostess, home group leaders, in the music ministry, two different youth ministries, and a few others I can't remember because it's been so long now.
Each of these activities was only one night a week, but every one of our nights and weekends were booked solid. My wife and I had no time for each other. After getting some sound advice from some pastor friends of ours, we drop most of those ministries and regrouped. We had to say no.
If you want to free up some time to do the things that you want to do, you will have to say no. You will have to say no to things, to people, even to yourself when you yourself says, "you can do this." Let me repeat, just say no. If you currently have too much going on, drop some of the things you are doing. Here is a really good exercise you can do to help. For one week, write down activity you engage in and the length of time it takes you to do them, every one. This will include eating meals, sleep, work, watching tv, etc. When the week is over, review your lists. Are there any activities you can eliminate?
If you watch three hours of tv per night, cut down on your tv. Watch only an hour, maybe your favorite shows. If you have a hobby that takes a ton of your time, cut down on your hobby time. Prioritize your activities by ranking them 1 through whatever. Eliminate the trivial, idle things in your life that don't amount to much. Trade that time for family time or time for something else you need time for. Again, just say no.
When you are too busy and have too much going on, you are unable to do things well. If you are working 8 hours a day, have a wife and kids at home, have extracurricular activities, are finishing you bachelor's degree (which also means homework) you are not going to be the best worker, parent, and student. I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. I'm sure you all have some good ideas on freeing up time, so email me.
Mike Bova is the Madison County Advertising Director & Business Columnist for Eagle Newspapers in Syracuse, NY. Mike owns several websites including The Upstate New York Shopping And Business Directory. Mike has spoken in front of many business groups, shattered a lot of sales records, conducted several sales training seminars and trains corporate sales staffs how to sell more. Mike is launching his own site soon.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Bova
Plan Your Time
Do you wish there were more hours in a day to get everything done? Well, isn't it true that you have the same amount of hours as any other person on this planet? Maybe what you need is not more hours, you just need to learn to manage the hours you already have. Here are six common mistakes that people make, and how you can avoid them.
For some reason, it is common belief that to get more done, you need to work harder. This is totally false. The secret to accomplishing more is not to work harder, but to work smarter. That is why you should always start your day with a plan of action. Every morning write down what you will accomplish that day. Start your day with this plan in mind. Mark through each item as you accomplish it. Do not let anyone derail you from this plan.
Another big mistake is being out of balance in your life. If your financial life is a mess, you can't focus on your personal life, so therefore your personal life may suffer, which will cause you to be unable to focus at work. Each area of your life influences the other. Do your best to achieve a healthy balance in all areas of your life and your day will flow better with less stress.
Trying to work on a messy desk is another big mistake. Studies show that a person who works on a messy desk spends one and a half hour per day looking for things. Being organized is the key to good time management. Knowing where everything is at can be a great stress reducer. Need to find that important document for your boss in the next five minutes? An organized person, with an organized desk, would have it ready with four and one half minutes to spare.
Not getting enough sleep can mess up your whole day.
If you are tired, you can't work as effectively as you should. Projects will take longer to complete and therefore more time is wasted. Get eight hours of quality sleep a night. The quality of sleep is important. If you are tossing and turning, waking up every hour, you are not getting quality sleep. You may have been in bed for eight hours but you will still be tired.
Not delegating is a huge mistake in managing time. If you have the resources by all means delegate. There are other people out there that can do a job as well as you can. Don't waste time by trying to do it all yourself.
Not taking a lunch break is another common mistake in managing your time. Sure you may get that extra half hour of work in, but is the work quality work? Could you have done it better and faster if you would have taken the time to eat and recharge your mental batteries? Our minds need a break every now and then. Take a lunch break and relax. You may find that you get a lot more accomplished.
These are the most common mistakes people make in managing their time. Stop making these mistakes and stand out from the crowd.
Shafir Ahmad is the author of "The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time". If you are not managing your time, then you are wasting it. Don't waste time! Get your 7-Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at http://www.PlanYourTimeNow.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shafir_Ahmad
For some reason, it is common belief that to get more done, you need to work harder. This is totally false. The secret to accomplishing more is not to work harder, but to work smarter. That is why you should always start your day with a plan of action. Every morning write down what you will accomplish that day. Start your day with this plan in mind. Mark through each item as you accomplish it. Do not let anyone derail you from this plan.
Another big mistake is being out of balance in your life. If your financial life is a mess, you can't focus on your personal life, so therefore your personal life may suffer, which will cause you to be unable to focus at work. Each area of your life influences the other. Do your best to achieve a healthy balance in all areas of your life and your day will flow better with less stress.
Trying to work on a messy desk is another big mistake. Studies show that a person who works on a messy desk spends one and a half hour per day looking for things. Being organized is the key to good time management. Knowing where everything is at can be a great stress reducer. Need to find that important document for your boss in the next five minutes? An organized person, with an organized desk, would have it ready with four and one half minutes to spare.
Not getting enough sleep can mess up your whole day.
If you are tired, you can't work as effectively as you should. Projects will take longer to complete and therefore more time is wasted. Get eight hours of quality sleep a night. The quality of sleep is important. If you are tossing and turning, waking up every hour, you are not getting quality sleep. You may have been in bed for eight hours but you will still be tired.
Not delegating is a huge mistake in managing time. If you have the resources by all means delegate. There are other people out there that can do a job as well as you can. Don't waste time by trying to do it all yourself.
Not taking a lunch break is another common mistake in managing your time. Sure you may get that extra half hour of work in, but is the work quality work? Could you have done it better and faster if you would have taken the time to eat and recharge your mental batteries? Our minds need a break every now and then. Take a lunch break and relax. You may find that you get a lot more accomplished.
These are the most common mistakes people make in managing their time. Stop making these mistakes and stand out from the crowd.
Shafir Ahmad is the author of "The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time". If you are not managing your time, then you are wasting it. Don't waste time! Get your 7-Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at http://www.PlanYourTimeNow.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shafir_Ahmad
Anger Management: Taking Control of Your Reactions
Anger management refers to the system of psychological techniques that help to manage uncontrollable anger and emotional reactions to unpleasant situations.
Learning to control your anger is not complicated once you apply a few basic principles and anger techniques. Just remember that it is much easier to learn to manage your anger than burying it deep down inside and not letting it out (so if you can bury it --- you can definitely control it!). We have some simple steps you should take to achieve your anger management goals.
Think about the following tips when you are angry and it may help you to deal with the situation more effectively.
" Learn to laugh at yourself - this can defuse a situation and can help you to get a grip on your emotions at the same time
" Don't take things personally - the world doesn't revolve around you!
" You can't control other people so don't even try.
" And along with that, you have to realize that you can't control your surroundings either - you can only control yourself and your own reactions.
Problem solving skills are useful to identify the problem and generate alternative solutions by considering the consequences of each solution and selecting an effective and appropriate response.
Other strategies include:" avoiding situations that make you angry" changing environments" focusing on something positive" engaging in substitute positive activities" and improving communication and social skills.
As mentioned above, humor can also be very useful, if it is constructive.Just remember that expressing or releasing your anger is just as important as controlling it. Both skills are required, in balance, to keep you healthy.
To learn the simple secrets to controlling your anger, visit http://www.angermanagement.healthehelp.com where you'll find everything you need to know about anger self help, anger courses, and much more!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pierre_Amyotte
Learning to control your anger is not complicated once you apply a few basic principles and anger techniques. Just remember that it is much easier to learn to manage your anger than burying it deep down inside and not letting it out (so if you can bury it --- you can definitely control it!). We have some simple steps you should take to achieve your anger management goals.
Think about the following tips when you are angry and it may help you to deal with the situation more effectively.
" Learn to laugh at yourself - this can defuse a situation and can help you to get a grip on your emotions at the same time
" Don't take things personally - the world doesn't revolve around you!
" You can't control other people so don't even try.
" And along with that, you have to realize that you can't control your surroundings either - you can only control yourself and your own reactions.
Problem solving skills are useful to identify the problem and generate alternative solutions by considering the consequences of each solution and selecting an effective and appropriate response.
Other strategies include:" avoiding situations that make you angry" changing environments" focusing on something positive" engaging in substitute positive activities" and improving communication and social skills.
As mentioned above, humor can also be very useful, if it is constructive.Just remember that expressing or releasing your anger is just as important as controlling it. Both skills are required, in balance, to keep you healthy.
To learn the simple secrets to controlling your anger, visit http://www.angermanagement.healthehelp.com where you'll find everything you need to know about anger self help, anger courses, and much more!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pierre_Amyotte
Making Your Anger Socially Acceptable
Anger is an emotion that we all feel at times. It is part of being human. It is just one of the emotions we all have. Kids and adults alike experience this emotion. When it is under control there is no problem.
It is the over reaction to situations and violent anger that needs to be addressed. We need to learn to control our tempers so that we can get angry without becoming abusive or violent.
Our anger needs to be socially acceptable. In other words we do not want to make a spectacle of ourselves and embarrass everyone around us when we become angered.
We must be able to get angry for a good reason and then make a stand for whatever it is and then let go. It is not acceptable to verbally abuse people in your company because they do not think the same way you do. Becoming violent and abusive at any time is totally unacceptable in society.
Anyone who has this problem can train themselves to step back from situations that ignite their tempers. By learning to pause before you reply will give you time to cool down sufficiently to realise that the situation does not warrant you making a fool out of yourself and embarrassing those around you.
You can get angry as long as you are in control of your emotions and do not let the emotion control you. Anger takes a lot of energy and this energy can be put to good use. Get angry about the poverty in the world and all the injustices and direct this energy into a passion for doing something to change the world. Someone who has passion for a cause can do great things to bring about change in the situation. Controlled anger can be a motivating factor to do good for the society.
How do you know when you are really angry? You will feel intense emotion inside yourself. Your breathing will become faster and as a result your face will become red your muscles will probably tense up and you will have the desire to hurt someone. You will want to scream at them in rage and make them listen to you. These desires that you are experiencing should be the red light to you to know that you are on dangerous ground. Now is the time to stop and retreat from the situation before things get altogether out of hand.
Your anger will become much bigger than the problem which set it off in the first place. It will not matter to you who you are shouting at. If it is someone close to you or a stranger your attitude towards them will be the same. You are now in a position of power and you feel that while you are in control you will say and do as you please.
This is totally the wrong attitude and you will have to take your self to task and immediately stop. If you are going to lose face that is fine but just walk away from the situation and there will be nothing to be sorry about later on. Rather walk away from situations that anger you than go through these emotions.
This author writes informative articles on various subjects.
http://www.cureangermanagement.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mabel_Van_Niekerk
It is the over reaction to situations and violent anger that needs to be addressed. We need to learn to control our tempers so that we can get angry without becoming abusive or violent.
Our anger needs to be socially acceptable. In other words we do not want to make a spectacle of ourselves and embarrass everyone around us when we become angered.
We must be able to get angry for a good reason and then make a stand for whatever it is and then let go. It is not acceptable to verbally abuse people in your company because they do not think the same way you do. Becoming violent and abusive at any time is totally unacceptable in society.
Anyone who has this problem can train themselves to step back from situations that ignite their tempers. By learning to pause before you reply will give you time to cool down sufficiently to realise that the situation does not warrant you making a fool out of yourself and embarrassing those around you.
You can get angry as long as you are in control of your emotions and do not let the emotion control you. Anger takes a lot of energy and this energy can be put to good use. Get angry about the poverty in the world and all the injustices and direct this energy into a passion for doing something to change the world. Someone who has passion for a cause can do great things to bring about change in the situation. Controlled anger can be a motivating factor to do good for the society.
How do you know when you are really angry? You will feel intense emotion inside yourself. Your breathing will become faster and as a result your face will become red your muscles will probably tense up and you will have the desire to hurt someone. You will want to scream at them in rage and make them listen to you. These desires that you are experiencing should be the red light to you to know that you are on dangerous ground. Now is the time to stop and retreat from the situation before things get altogether out of hand.
Your anger will become much bigger than the problem which set it off in the first place. It will not matter to you who you are shouting at. If it is someone close to you or a stranger your attitude towards them will be the same. You are now in a position of power and you feel that while you are in control you will say and do as you please.
This is totally the wrong attitude and you will have to take your self to task and immediately stop. If you are going to lose face that is fine but just walk away from the situation and there will be nothing to be sorry about later on. Rather walk away from situations that anger you than go through these emotions.
This author writes informative articles on various subjects.
http://www.cureangermanagement.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mabel_Van_Niekerk
The Dangers and Expressions of Anger
At a Christmas party, a provoked brother stabbed his junior one to death. He was arrested, tried and sentenced to life imprisonment for manslaughter. In the prison, he regrets his erratic behavior due to anger. The family is grieving for the double tragedy that struck the family.
The modern media with its vivid depiction of violence portrays anger as a heroic quality, as the quintessential psyche of the macho man. But is it really? Most people recognize that in real life anger is not a pleasant emotion, yet they savor the violent scenes in the movies. And then, strangely enough, they wonder why they themselves, in fits of anger, speak such words and do such deeds which break the hearts of their loved ones and which they themselves bitterly regret later.
Anger breaks hearts and wrecks homes. When enslaved by anger, people violently attack, wound and kill others ' sometimes their loved ones. Violent heroism in the media thus breeds violent crime in society. Anger is also a known cause of a large variety of ailments ranging from high blood pressure to heart attacks. Anger can lead to all forms of conflicts ranging from petty quarrels to world wars.
Moreover depression, a rampant modern mental health challenge, originates in anger. When one is unable to vent out anger on the perceived cause of frustration, one vents it out on oneself by going into a self-pity and self-martyrdom mentality, which is typical of depression.
Thus anger destroys reputations, careers, families and lives. No wonder the Bhagavad-gita (16.21) describes anger as "one of the gates that leads hell."
The Bhagavad-gita (2.62) describes the psychological genesis of anger. When our desires, plans and expectations for control and enjoyment are thwarted, the resentment and frustration expresses itself through harsh words and / or violent actions.
One tries to satisfy his lust, and when he cannot, anger and greed arise. A sane man who does not want to glide down to the degraded species of life must try to give up the three enemies, lust, greed and anger, which can kill the self to such an extent that there will be no possibility of liberation from this material entanglement.
How can we deal with anger? Thomas Jefferson suggests, "When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, count hundred." Consciously delaying action is useful in checking angry outbursts. It said that one should not speak when one is angry, one should also immediately drink a glass of water.
Anger, being fiery, can be cooled by a sip of water. And a spiritual transmutation of our emotions can completely uproot anger. We are all souls, spiritual and eternal children of God. Our heart finds fulfillment only when we make God our first love in life and we can at once be free from contamination of this terrible of sin and constant disagreement, and gradually rise to the state of transcendence and go back to Godhead.
By the process of calling on the holy names and also propagating the chanting of the holy names of the Lord can we be immune from all effects of this dangerous age. Moreover knowledge that no material upheaval or upstart can threaten our inner wealth of devotion gives us an unshakeable inner security, which anger cannot shake.
Even before we attain that tranquil state, devotion engenders spiritual maturity and stability within us. Forewarned is forearmed. ften we indulge in anger because we do not recognize the danger of anger. When we awaken our dormant spiritual devotion by chanting the holy names of God, especially the Hare Krishna maha-mantra, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare, this devotion will make us strong at heart and wise at head.
We develop the discrimination to pre-empt provocative situations, the open-mindedness to see the other person's viewpoint and the assertiveness to present our viewpoint without becoming aggressive. The Vedic scriptures describe the story of an violent sadistic hunter Mrigari who would half-kill animals and enjoy seeing them suffering till death. But when he was enlightened by the great sage Narada Muni and empowered by chanting of the names of Rama, he became so self-controlled that he carefully avoided stepping even on an ant.
Will our world not be a better place if more people were similarly transformed? Charity begins at home. Why not we begin with ourselves? Why not begin this process of transformation today, the sooner the better. Life is short and precious, and more precious if it is used in the service of the Lord. Time and tide waits for no man!
Victor Epand is an expert consultant for Krishna art, religious gifts from India, and Hare Krishna books. You can find the best marketplace for Krishna art, religious gifts from India, and Hare Krishna books at these sites for Krishna art, yoga gifts, controlling anger, and Hare Krishna books.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Victor_Epand
The modern media with its vivid depiction of violence portrays anger as a heroic quality, as the quintessential psyche of the macho man. But is it really? Most people recognize that in real life anger is not a pleasant emotion, yet they savor the violent scenes in the movies. And then, strangely enough, they wonder why they themselves, in fits of anger, speak such words and do such deeds which break the hearts of their loved ones and which they themselves bitterly regret later.
Anger breaks hearts and wrecks homes. When enslaved by anger, people violently attack, wound and kill others ' sometimes their loved ones. Violent heroism in the media thus breeds violent crime in society. Anger is also a known cause of a large variety of ailments ranging from high blood pressure to heart attacks. Anger can lead to all forms of conflicts ranging from petty quarrels to world wars.
Moreover depression, a rampant modern mental health challenge, originates in anger. When one is unable to vent out anger on the perceived cause of frustration, one vents it out on oneself by going into a self-pity and self-martyrdom mentality, which is typical of depression.
Thus anger destroys reputations, careers, families and lives. No wonder the Bhagavad-gita (16.21) describes anger as "one of the gates that leads hell."
The Bhagavad-gita (2.62) describes the psychological genesis of anger. When our desires, plans and expectations for control and enjoyment are thwarted, the resentment and frustration expresses itself through harsh words and / or violent actions.
One tries to satisfy his lust, and when he cannot, anger and greed arise. A sane man who does not want to glide down to the degraded species of life must try to give up the three enemies, lust, greed and anger, which can kill the self to such an extent that there will be no possibility of liberation from this material entanglement.
How can we deal with anger? Thomas Jefferson suggests, "When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, count hundred." Consciously delaying action is useful in checking angry outbursts. It said that one should not speak when one is angry, one should also immediately drink a glass of water.
Anger, being fiery, can be cooled by a sip of water. And a spiritual transmutation of our emotions can completely uproot anger. We are all souls, spiritual and eternal children of God. Our heart finds fulfillment only when we make God our first love in life and we can at once be free from contamination of this terrible of sin and constant disagreement, and gradually rise to the state of transcendence and go back to Godhead.
By the process of calling on the holy names and also propagating the chanting of the holy names of the Lord can we be immune from all effects of this dangerous age. Moreover knowledge that no material upheaval or upstart can threaten our inner wealth of devotion gives us an unshakeable inner security, which anger cannot shake.
Even before we attain that tranquil state, devotion engenders spiritual maturity and stability within us. Forewarned is forearmed. ften we indulge in anger because we do not recognize the danger of anger. When we awaken our dormant spiritual devotion by chanting the holy names of God, especially the Hare Krishna maha-mantra, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare, this devotion will make us strong at heart and wise at head.
We develop the discrimination to pre-empt provocative situations, the open-mindedness to see the other person's viewpoint and the assertiveness to present our viewpoint without becoming aggressive. The Vedic scriptures describe the story of an violent sadistic hunter Mrigari who would half-kill animals and enjoy seeing them suffering till death. But when he was enlightened by the great sage Narada Muni and empowered by chanting of the names of Rama, he became so self-controlled that he carefully avoided stepping even on an ant.
Will our world not be a better place if more people were similarly transformed? Charity begins at home. Why not we begin with ourselves? Why not begin this process of transformation today, the sooner the better. Life is short and precious, and more precious if it is used in the service of the Lord. Time and tide waits for no man!
Victor Epand is an expert consultant for Krishna art, religious gifts from India, and Hare Krishna books. You can find the best marketplace for Krishna art, religious gifts from India, and Hare Krishna books at these sites for Krishna art, yoga gifts, controlling anger, and Hare Krishna books.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Victor_Epand
Motivational Story: How To Control Anger
One day, a young and pretty princess was playing with her golden ball. But the ball rolled over and drowned into a pool. He could not see the ball because the pool was quite deep and also she was not able to swim. She was so sad. Then suddenly a frog showed up and jumped in front of her. The frog asked, "Hi, pretty girl, why are you crying? What happens? Can I give help?" Then the princess sadly answered, "My golden ball has drowned into this pool, but I cannot take it back. Can you take it for me? If you can get my ball back, I promise to give whatever you desire because I am a princess, my father is an emperor."
The frog was excited because of knowing that she was a princess. Then the frog quickly said, "OK. My wish is very simple. I just want to stay in your palace and you have to treat me well. Do you agree with the deal?" She thought for a moment. She then nodded her head and told the frog, "OK. I agree." They finally made that agreement.
The frog jumped and dived into the pool to find the ball and the princess was waiting for it. After several minutes, the frog emerged on the surface with the ball in its hand. The princess was so cheerful and thanked to the frog.
She then suddenly remembered what she had promised to the frog before. She should bring the frog home. Actually, she did not want the frog stayed in her palace. So she planned to run away immediately. She ran as fast as she can so the frog could not chase her. She thought that she had successfully cheated the frog. But how surprised she was when she saw the frog in front of the gate of the palace. She did not know how the frog could be there so fast. The frog said, "Do not forget your promise!" There was no choice for her except let it stayed in her palace.
The frog was so happy with the new life because it could eat delicious meal and could sleep in a soft and comfortable bed. The frog felt like a prince. But the princess disliked it so much. Her heart was full with hatred to remove the frog from her life. She scolded it many times. When the frog was eating, she angrily dropped the food on the floor. She growled and told the frog, "You did not deserve to eat the food and stayed in this place.
Your place is in the pool." She was so fierce. She did not care about the agreement she promised. She wanted to break it. No days without her anger to the frog. Until one day, she was at the peak of her anger and hatred. She grabbed the frog and slammed it with full power to the floor.
And suddenly the frog magically turned into thick smoke and a very handsome and gallant prince stood in the middle of the smoke. The princess was both shocked and happy because he was so handsome. She was fascinated. She was in love at the first sight. The prince told her, "I am sorry because I lie to you. I am a prince of another kingdom. A cruel witch used her magic and turned me into a frog. But the magic has been lost because you threw me into the floor.
Thanks a lot. Now I have to go back to my palace. Goodbye and take care." But the princess said, "Don't. Please do not go. I want you to stay here. I feel that I am in love with you now." Then the prince laughed and said, "No, princess. When I was a frog, I have known your real behavior. You are so fierce, your heart is full of hatred and anger, you have bad temperament and do not keep your promise. I do not like it so much. Goodbye." Then the prince walked out of her palace.
Message for readers:
According to Joe Girard, A person recognizes approximately 250 people. They can be his relatives, family, friends and other people. When you are angry with someone and hate them, you have hated other 250 people. Why? Because, if you hate and angry with one person, he will tell to other 250 people he knows. Think about this dangerous effect by just hating and being angry with one person. What if you do this to 10 persons? It means that you will spread your hatred and anger to about 2500 persons.
They will know your bad behavior. They will talk from mouth to mouth and it surely creates snow-ball effect that will be bigger and bigger when it rolls. Otherwise, when a person knows that you are so kind, helpful and have positive yet good behavior, you have spread your good behavior to other 250 persons.
When you are angry, you indirectly create hostility to the person you are angry with. Nelson Mandela said that the hostility is like poison being drunk by someone and hope the death of his enemy because of the poison. Hatred and anger will endanger you and other people if you do not stop them. Do you know that when you smile, you just move about 13 muscles of your face, but when you are angry and frown, you have to move more than 110 muscles of your face.
Here is helpful tip that can stop or control your anger. When you get yourself in a situation that you cannot stop your anger or if you are about to deliver your anger to someone, immediately tell yourself, "If I am angry, I will make more 250 people angry with me." or "I will create more hostility with 250 people he knows. I will have bad image that can harm me back."
You can also smile with people you meet. It will make you happier.
You will make more friendship with people around you. What a beautiful world if anger and hatred do not exist.
If you enjoy this article, find more excellent motivational articles and don't miss information at Daily Motivation
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Suhardi_Csd_Hardi
The frog was excited because of knowing that she was a princess. Then the frog quickly said, "OK. My wish is very simple. I just want to stay in your palace and you have to treat me well. Do you agree with the deal?" She thought for a moment. She then nodded her head and told the frog, "OK. I agree." They finally made that agreement.
The frog jumped and dived into the pool to find the ball and the princess was waiting for it. After several minutes, the frog emerged on the surface with the ball in its hand. The princess was so cheerful and thanked to the frog.
She then suddenly remembered what she had promised to the frog before. She should bring the frog home. Actually, she did not want the frog stayed in her palace. So she planned to run away immediately. She ran as fast as she can so the frog could not chase her. She thought that she had successfully cheated the frog. But how surprised she was when she saw the frog in front of the gate of the palace. She did not know how the frog could be there so fast. The frog said, "Do not forget your promise!" There was no choice for her except let it stayed in her palace.
The frog was so happy with the new life because it could eat delicious meal and could sleep in a soft and comfortable bed. The frog felt like a prince. But the princess disliked it so much. Her heart was full with hatred to remove the frog from her life. She scolded it many times. When the frog was eating, she angrily dropped the food on the floor. She growled and told the frog, "You did not deserve to eat the food and stayed in this place.
Your place is in the pool." She was so fierce. She did not care about the agreement she promised. She wanted to break it. No days without her anger to the frog. Until one day, she was at the peak of her anger and hatred. She grabbed the frog and slammed it with full power to the floor.
And suddenly the frog magically turned into thick smoke and a very handsome and gallant prince stood in the middle of the smoke. The princess was both shocked and happy because he was so handsome. She was fascinated. She was in love at the first sight. The prince told her, "I am sorry because I lie to you. I am a prince of another kingdom. A cruel witch used her magic and turned me into a frog. But the magic has been lost because you threw me into the floor.
Thanks a lot. Now I have to go back to my palace. Goodbye and take care." But the princess said, "Don't. Please do not go. I want you to stay here. I feel that I am in love with you now." Then the prince laughed and said, "No, princess. When I was a frog, I have known your real behavior. You are so fierce, your heart is full of hatred and anger, you have bad temperament and do not keep your promise. I do not like it so much. Goodbye." Then the prince walked out of her palace.
Message for readers:
According to Joe Girard, A person recognizes approximately 250 people. They can be his relatives, family, friends and other people. When you are angry with someone and hate them, you have hated other 250 people. Why? Because, if you hate and angry with one person, he will tell to other 250 people he knows. Think about this dangerous effect by just hating and being angry with one person. What if you do this to 10 persons? It means that you will spread your hatred and anger to about 2500 persons.
They will know your bad behavior. They will talk from mouth to mouth and it surely creates snow-ball effect that will be bigger and bigger when it rolls. Otherwise, when a person knows that you are so kind, helpful and have positive yet good behavior, you have spread your good behavior to other 250 persons.
When you are angry, you indirectly create hostility to the person you are angry with. Nelson Mandela said that the hostility is like poison being drunk by someone and hope the death of his enemy because of the poison. Hatred and anger will endanger you and other people if you do not stop them. Do you know that when you smile, you just move about 13 muscles of your face, but when you are angry and frown, you have to move more than 110 muscles of your face.
Here is helpful tip that can stop or control your anger. When you get yourself in a situation that you cannot stop your anger or if you are about to deliver your anger to someone, immediately tell yourself, "If I am angry, I will make more 250 people angry with me." or "I will create more hostility with 250 people he knows. I will have bad image that can harm me back."
You can also smile with people you meet. It will make you happier.
You will make more friendship with people around you. What a beautiful world if anger and hatred do not exist.
If you enjoy this article, find more excellent motivational articles and don't miss information at Daily Motivation
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Suhardi_Csd_Hardi
How To Stop Being Angry
How to stop being so angry is a question which many people ask themselves. This is because excessive anger has become something of a plague. And although excess rage isn't recognized as a disease, it does cause a lot of health risks and also reduces the quality of life you should enjoy.
How can you stop being so angry all the time? Here are some easy to do tips:
1. Keep an anger log - Often, what makes us burst in anger often surprises us afterwards when it really shouldn't. We tend to get angry of the same things over and over again. What you need to do is to keep track of what makes you angry. Carry a small notebook around to serve as an anger log. Write down every anger incident. Then, study your log and identify what makes you angry. Then you'll be able to predict your eruptions and prevent them.
2. Counting to 3 - Whenever you feel an anger eruption coming on, one of the best things you can do is to count to 3. This is a simple way to stop being angry and it takes 3 seconds to do. The counting makes you stop your rage waves dead in their tracks, and allows you to take a cool look at what's really going on. You will then be able to make a measured response to whatever angered you.
3. Learn to breathe - Taking a deep breath is a great way to calm yourself. Whenever you feel the anger coming up you just need to close your eyes and take a deep breath and imagine the anger dissipating, and more often than not, it will.
Use these 3 tips to stop being so angry and take control of your life again.
To read more tips on how to control your anger, click here: Anger Management Tips.
Mike Eltis writes extensively on psychological issues. To read his review of anger management, go to this webpage: Anger Management Treatment Options.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Eltis
How can you stop being so angry all the time? Here are some easy to do tips:
1. Keep an anger log - Often, what makes us burst in anger often surprises us afterwards when it really shouldn't. We tend to get angry of the same things over and over again. What you need to do is to keep track of what makes you angry. Carry a small notebook around to serve as an anger log. Write down every anger incident. Then, study your log and identify what makes you angry. Then you'll be able to predict your eruptions and prevent them.
2. Counting to 3 - Whenever you feel an anger eruption coming on, one of the best things you can do is to count to 3. This is a simple way to stop being angry and it takes 3 seconds to do. The counting makes you stop your rage waves dead in their tracks, and allows you to take a cool look at what's really going on. You will then be able to make a measured response to whatever angered you.
3. Learn to breathe - Taking a deep breath is a great way to calm yourself. Whenever you feel the anger coming up you just need to close your eyes and take a deep breath and imagine the anger dissipating, and more often than not, it will.
Use these 3 tips to stop being so angry and take control of your life again.
To read more tips on how to control your anger, click here: Anger Management Tips.
Mike Eltis writes extensively on psychological issues. To read his review of anger management, go to this webpage: Anger Management Treatment Options.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Eltis
If your life is too busy just say no
OK, is your life too busy? Does it seem like you don't have time for yourself, your family or anything else? Are you glad breathing is an involuntary function, because if it wasn't you'd forget to breathe? Wow, you're like me! I am making adjustments in my life to change things. You should too. Things like saying no when someone asks you to do something. Let's explore this topic together and see what other things we can do to "buy" time.
I'm going to give you a couple examples to explain what I mean when I say, "just say no." Before I got back into the corporate world, I owned a construction business. So many people wanted work done (including friends) and because I needed the money and wanted to help people, I would always say yes to a job. The problem was, I over booked myself. Now, in order to get everything done, I had to work longer days and sometimes Saturdays and Sundays.
This put a lot of strain on my marriage and made for an awful home life. I was so tired, that I didn't have time for anything else. If I would have said no to a few of these jobs, I would have had a little less money, but much more time to do with as I chose. You see, in life (as you probably know) there are always trade-offs. Before I discontinued my business, I was able to say no to people, but at that point it was a little to little and a little too late. I have learned from those mistakes.
Here is another thing that happened way back when. My wife and I are active members of our church.
The Pastors and leaders of our church saw leadership potential in us and asked us to be a part of many different church ministries. We were ushers, host/hostess, home group leaders, in the music ministry, two different youth ministries, and a few others I can't remember because it's been so long now. Each of these activities was only one night a week, but every one of our nights and weekends were booked solid. My wife and I had no time for each other. After getting some sound advice from some pastor friends of ours, we drop most of those ministries and regrouped. We had to say no.
If you want to free up some time to do the things that you want to do, you will have to say no. You will have to say no to things, to people, even to yourself when you yourself says, "you can do this." Let me repeat, just say no. If you currently have too much going on, drop some of the things you are doing. Here is a really good exercise you can do to help. For one week, write down activity you engage in and the length of time it takes you to do them, every one. This will include eating meals, sleep, work, watching tv, etc. When the week is over, review your lists.
Are there any activities you can eliminate? If you watch three hours of tv per night, cut down on your tv. Watch only an hour, maybe your favorite shows. If you have a hobby that takes a ton of your time, cut down on your hobby time. Prioritize your activities by ranking them 1 through whatever. Eliminate the trivial, idle things in your life that don't amount to much. Trade that time for family time or time for something else you need time for. Again, just say no.
When you are too busy and have too much going on, you are unable to do things well. If you are working 8 hours a day, have a wife and kids at home, have extracurricular activities, are finishing you bachelor's degree (which also means homework) you are not going to be the best worker, parent, and student. I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. I'm sure you all have some good ideas on freeing up time, so email me.
Mike Bova is the Madison County Advertising Director & Business Columnist for Eagle Newspapers in Syracuse, NY. Mike owns several websites including The Upstate New York Shopping And Business Directory. Mike has spoken in front of many business groups, shattered a lot of sales records, conducted several sales training seminars and trains corporate sales staffs how to sell more. Mike is launching his own site soon.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Bova
I'm going to give you a couple examples to explain what I mean when I say, "just say no." Before I got back into the corporate world, I owned a construction business. So many people wanted work done (including friends) and because I needed the money and wanted to help people, I would always say yes to a job. The problem was, I over booked myself. Now, in order to get everything done, I had to work longer days and sometimes Saturdays and Sundays.
This put a lot of strain on my marriage and made for an awful home life. I was so tired, that I didn't have time for anything else. If I would have said no to a few of these jobs, I would have had a little less money, but much more time to do with as I chose. You see, in life (as you probably know) there are always trade-offs. Before I discontinued my business, I was able to say no to people, but at that point it was a little to little and a little too late. I have learned from those mistakes.
Here is another thing that happened way back when. My wife and I are active members of our church.
The Pastors and leaders of our church saw leadership potential in us and asked us to be a part of many different church ministries. We were ushers, host/hostess, home group leaders, in the music ministry, two different youth ministries, and a few others I can't remember because it's been so long now. Each of these activities was only one night a week, but every one of our nights and weekends were booked solid. My wife and I had no time for each other. After getting some sound advice from some pastor friends of ours, we drop most of those ministries and regrouped. We had to say no.
If you want to free up some time to do the things that you want to do, you will have to say no. You will have to say no to things, to people, even to yourself when you yourself says, "you can do this." Let me repeat, just say no. If you currently have too much going on, drop some of the things you are doing. Here is a really good exercise you can do to help. For one week, write down activity you engage in and the length of time it takes you to do them, every one. This will include eating meals, sleep, work, watching tv, etc. When the week is over, review your lists.
Are there any activities you can eliminate? If you watch three hours of tv per night, cut down on your tv. Watch only an hour, maybe your favorite shows. If you have a hobby that takes a ton of your time, cut down on your hobby time. Prioritize your activities by ranking them 1 through whatever. Eliminate the trivial, idle things in your life that don't amount to much. Trade that time for family time or time for something else you need time for. Again, just say no.
When you are too busy and have too much going on, you are unable to do things well. If you are working 8 hours a day, have a wife and kids at home, have extracurricular activities, are finishing you bachelor's degree (which also means homework) you are not going to be the best worker, parent, and student. I would love to hear your feedback on this topic. I'm sure you all have some good ideas on freeing up time, so email me.
Mike Bova is the Madison County Advertising Director & Business Columnist for Eagle Newspapers in Syracuse, NY. Mike owns several websites including The Upstate New York Shopping And Business Directory. Mike has spoken in front of many business groups, shattered a lot of sales records, conducted several sales training seminars and trains corporate sales staffs how to sell more. Mike is launching his own site soon.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Bova
Time Management - Computer Games Can Help You Manage Your Time Better
So, you're a busy professional who has very little time and a tremendous number of demands on your time. It seems as though your petition to have yourself cloned has been denied, and the government has done nothing about adding an extra day to the week - so what do you do?
No matter how improbable it may seem, possibly the answer may be to invest a little of your time in trying out some of the increasingly popular and varied time management games. Computer games? Yes, some of them are; others are games than often involve a professional coach carrying out team training exercises with a group of workers.
Let's look at the benefits and purposes of both types of time management games that you may come across. Firstly, the idea that a computer game could in any way help to improve your ability to manage time might seem a complete contradiction.
All too often, it is the ease of slipping into the habit of playing a few minutes on a quick game here and then that can lead to further loss of time.
Yet there are two advantages to these games. Firstly, they may help to provide you with a specific reward for when you have achieved a certain proportion of the work you have to get done. Secondly and more valuably though, they can help to highlight the benefits of organization in carrying out a series of tasks.
Much of this software is about efficiency, goal setting and achievement. They do help to identify the importance of time management. Each successive level demands more and more organization and awareness of the demands and expectations of more challenging tasks.
The more you achieve, the higher the level, the greater the challenge. A high score provides you with a clear incentive. Failure simply provides you with an opportunity to have another go and try to improve your performance.
In addition to time management games for computers, there are also a range of activities which can be provided by professional coaches in sessions carried out in teams at work. These typically involve people working together in the planning and implementation of a task which involves cooperation, communication, planning and assessment, and effective use of resources - including time.
And now, I'd like to invite you to get free instant access to a 7-Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at http://www.PlanYourTimeNow.com where you can discover more ways to use time effectively.
Shafir Ahmad of http://www.ShafirAhmad.com is the author of "The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time".
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shafir_Ahmad
No matter how improbable it may seem, possibly the answer may be to invest a little of your time in trying out some of the increasingly popular and varied time management games. Computer games? Yes, some of them are; others are games than often involve a professional coach carrying out team training exercises with a group of workers.
Let's look at the benefits and purposes of both types of time management games that you may come across. Firstly, the idea that a computer game could in any way help to improve your ability to manage time might seem a complete contradiction.
All too often, it is the ease of slipping into the habit of playing a few minutes on a quick game here and then that can lead to further loss of time.
Yet there are two advantages to these games. Firstly, they may help to provide you with a specific reward for when you have achieved a certain proportion of the work you have to get done. Secondly and more valuably though, they can help to highlight the benefits of organization in carrying out a series of tasks.
Much of this software is about efficiency, goal setting and achievement. They do help to identify the importance of time management. Each successive level demands more and more organization and awareness of the demands and expectations of more challenging tasks.
The more you achieve, the higher the level, the greater the challenge. A high score provides you with a clear incentive. Failure simply provides you with an opportunity to have another go and try to improve your performance.
In addition to time management games for computers, there are also a range of activities which can be provided by professional coaches in sessions carried out in teams at work. These typically involve people working together in the planning and implementation of a task which involves cooperation, communication, planning and assessment, and effective use of resources - including time.
And now, I'd like to invite you to get free instant access to a 7-Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at http://www.PlanYourTimeNow.com where you can discover more ways to use time effectively.
Shafir Ahmad of http://www.ShafirAhmad.com is the author of "The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time".
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shafir_Ahmad
Time Management - Computer Games Can Help You Manage Your Time Better
So, you're a busy professional who has very little time and a tremendous number of demands on your time. It seems as though your petition to have yourself cloned has been denied, and the government has done nothing about adding an extra day to the week - so what do you do?
No matter how improbable it may seem, possibly the answer may be to invest a little of your time in trying out some of the increasingly popular and varied time management games. Computer games? Yes, some of them are; others are games than often involve a professional coach carrying out team training exercises with a group of workers.
Let's look at the benefits and purposes of both types of time management games that you may come across. Firstly, the idea that a computer game could in any way help to improve your ability to manage time might seem a complete contradiction.
All too often, it is the ease of slipping into the habit of playing a few minutes on a quick game here and then that can lead to further loss of time.
Yet there are two advantages to these games. Firstly, they may help to provide you with a specific reward for when you have achieved a certain proportion of the work you have to get done. Secondly and more valuably though, they can help to highlight the benefits of organization in carrying out a series of tasks.
Much of this software is about efficiency, goal setting and achievement. They do help to identify the importance of time management. Each successive level demands more and more organization and awareness of the demands and expectations of more challenging tasks.
The more you achieve, the higher the level, the greater the challenge. A high score provides you with a clear incentive. Failure simply provides you with an opportunity to have another go and try to improve your performance.
In addition to time management games for computers, there are also a range of activities which can be provided by professional coaches in sessions carried out in teams at work. These typically involve people working together in the planning and implementation of a task which involves cooperation, communication, planning and assessment, and effective use of resources - including time.
And now, I'd like to invite you to get free instant access to a 7-Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at http://www.PlanYourTimeNow.com where you can discover more ways to use time effectively.
Shafir Ahmad of http://www.ShafirAhmad.com is the author of "The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time".
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shafir_Ahmad
No matter how improbable it may seem, possibly the answer may be to invest a little of your time in trying out some of the increasingly popular and varied time management games. Computer games? Yes, some of them are; others are games than often involve a professional coach carrying out team training exercises with a group of workers.
Let's look at the benefits and purposes of both types of time management games that you may come across. Firstly, the idea that a computer game could in any way help to improve your ability to manage time might seem a complete contradiction.
All too often, it is the ease of slipping into the habit of playing a few minutes on a quick game here and then that can lead to further loss of time.
Yet there are two advantages to these games. Firstly, they may help to provide you with a specific reward for when you have achieved a certain proportion of the work you have to get done. Secondly and more valuably though, they can help to highlight the benefits of organization in carrying out a series of tasks.
Much of this software is about efficiency, goal setting and achievement. They do help to identify the importance of time management. Each successive level demands more and more organization and awareness of the demands and expectations of more challenging tasks.
The more you achieve, the higher the level, the greater the challenge. A high score provides you with a clear incentive. Failure simply provides you with an opportunity to have another go and try to improve your performance.
In addition to time management games for computers, there are also a range of activities which can be provided by professional coaches in sessions carried out in teams at work. These typically involve people working together in the planning and implementation of a task which involves cooperation, communication, planning and assessment, and effective use of resources - including time.
And now, I'd like to invite you to get free instant access to a 7-Part eCourse on Secrets To Better Time Management at http://www.PlanYourTimeNow.com where you can discover more ways to use time effectively.
Shafir Ahmad of http://www.ShafirAhmad.com is the author of "The Experts Guide to Managing Your Time".
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shafir_Ahmad
How To Prioritize Conflicting Time Demands
I'm frequently asked how to get more done in the available time. It's easier than most think, but it does require some planning and work.
Let's look at time wasters. Where ever you go in the next day or two, see if you don't agree with me that most individuals waste approximately 15 minutes out of every hour. That's 2.5 hours at the end of a day and 1.2 days at the end of a week.
How would you like to have UPS or FedEx ship you 2 months of productive days? These would be your days to use for whatever you wished? Stop the waste and those days belong to you.
What causes the waste? Worrying about what to do, a lack of proper equipment, inadequate training, and unclear directions are some of the main culprits.
But my favorite time waster is analysis paralysis, which is often caused by competing demands. For example, let's say you face the decision as to whether to prepare your taxes or generate cash. Both are extremely important to your business and considered high-priority and high-payoff items.
Should you do the taxes or make the sales? You could flip a coin to decide which should be done first, but that means you'll not win on one or the other. I suggest removing the "or" and replace it with "and" so you're focused on finding a solution that accomplishes both.
For example, cash generation for most businesses must take place during core times of the day. In this illustration if you personally prepare your taxes, you could sell during the day and complete tax forms in the evening. Now, I purposefully kept this simple so you can readily see my point.
I acknowledge, however, that life can be a bit more complex-but only if you let it.
The next time you face the dilemma of competing demands, weigh the consequences (positive and negative) and if similar in importance, then search for ways to do both. After whittling down the time wasters, you might be surprised that you have more than enough hours to accomplish what matters most.
Thought for the day: your future comes one choice at a time.
Tired of thinking about but never quite getting around to accomplishing what you want in life and business? Please visit BestQuarterWorkshop.com for an effective solution to your challenge.
A bit of background on me...I am a Productivity Strategist with nearly four decades of progressive leadership, transforming human potential into a sustainable competitive advantage. I enjoy guiding business owners, coaching executives, developing leaders, streamlining production, enhancing revenue, and generating measurable results.
If I may assist you, please let me hear from you (Contact Grant).
© 2008 Grant Ferguson, All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Grant_Ferguson
Let's look at time wasters. Where ever you go in the next day or two, see if you don't agree with me that most individuals waste approximately 15 minutes out of every hour. That's 2.5 hours at the end of a day and 1.2 days at the end of a week.
How would you like to have UPS or FedEx ship you 2 months of productive days? These would be your days to use for whatever you wished? Stop the waste and those days belong to you.
What causes the waste? Worrying about what to do, a lack of proper equipment, inadequate training, and unclear directions are some of the main culprits.
But my favorite time waster is analysis paralysis, which is often caused by competing demands. For example, let's say you face the decision as to whether to prepare your taxes or generate cash. Both are extremely important to your business and considered high-priority and high-payoff items.
Should you do the taxes or make the sales? You could flip a coin to decide which should be done first, but that means you'll not win on one or the other. I suggest removing the "or" and replace it with "and" so you're focused on finding a solution that accomplishes both.
For example, cash generation for most businesses must take place during core times of the day. In this illustration if you personally prepare your taxes, you could sell during the day and complete tax forms in the evening. Now, I purposefully kept this simple so you can readily see my point.
I acknowledge, however, that life can be a bit more complex-but only if you let it.
The next time you face the dilemma of competing demands, weigh the consequences (positive and negative) and if similar in importance, then search for ways to do both. After whittling down the time wasters, you might be surprised that you have more than enough hours to accomplish what matters most.
Thought for the day: your future comes one choice at a time.
Tired of thinking about but never quite getting around to accomplishing what you want in life and business? Please visit BestQuarterWorkshop.com for an effective solution to your challenge.
A bit of background on me...I am a Productivity Strategist with nearly four decades of progressive leadership, transforming human potential into a sustainable competitive advantage. I enjoy guiding business owners, coaching executives, developing leaders, streamlining production, enhancing revenue, and generating measurable results.
If I may assist you, please let me hear from you (Contact Grant).
© 2008 Grant Ferguson, All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Grant_Ferguson
Time Management: Environment is Stronger Than Will Power
I think Buckminster Fuller got it right when he said "Environment is stronger than will power".
Think about it for a minute. If you're trying to lose weight, but you're sitting in the middle of a candy factory, how had do you think it will be to not eat candy?
On the other hand, if you're living in a health spa, I bet you could avoid eating candy much easier, even probably start working out too.
This same sort of idea goes for almost everything, yet most people don't think about setting up the right environment for efficient time management. In fact, most people kind of think of anything having to do with time management as a chore.
When most people think about time management, they think about mental discipline, following processes and other hard core "will power" techniques to stop procrastination and get more things done in less time.
Those kind of "Brute Force Time Management" techniques can work, but there are also other things you can do to help you manage your time better; things which take very little time and precious little mental will power. I call these things "Smart Time Management" techniques.
Let me show you what I mean with a quick and effective exercise.
Take a look around your work space. Pick out 5 easy to indentify objects in it and ask yourself "Does this support my goal to be better at time management or detract from my goal to be better at time management?"
For each item, if it doesn't support your goal for better time management, get rid of it or otherwise handle it appropriately.
For example, televisions are notorious for their ability to distract a person and also seduce them away from getting tasks accomplished promptly. If you have one in your workspace and can agree that it doesn't support your better time management goals, simply unplug it or better yet, move it to a different room.
Another distraction can be something as simple as a pile of papers on your desk. Clearly they are important because you've "piled" them up on your desk. The real question to ask is whether that pile supports your time management goals or not. When it's time to find something in that pile, chances are you'll have to spend a bit of extra time digging through all the papers to find the one you want. You may even spill the papers on to the floor at some point, causing you to waste time having to pick them all up.
These two examples might seem silly, but you get the point. Eliminating the non-supportive elements in your environment is the first step to creating an environment that supports your goals to be better at time management.
Of course after you remove distractions and non-supportive elements, your next step will be to add elements to your environment that actually support your time management improvement goals. We cover more of that in my other articles.
For additional strategies on "Smart Time Management, be sure you claim your copy of author Michael Adams' exclusive free expert guide for managing your time and multi-million dollar projects at: http://www.smart-time-management.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=M_Adams
Think about it for a minute. If you're trying to lose weight, but you're sitting in the middle of a candy factory, how had do you think it will be to not eat candy?
On the other hand, if you're living in a health spa, I bet you could avoid eating candy much easier, even probably start working out too.
This same sort of idea goes for almost everything, yet most people don't think about setting up the right environment for efficient time management. In fact, most people kind of think of anything having to do with time management as a chore.
When most people think about time management, they think about mental discipline, following processes and other hard core "will power" techniques to stop procrastination and get more things done in less time.
Those kind of "Brute Force Time Management" techniques can work, but there are also other things you can do to help you manage your time better; things which take very little time and precious little mental will power. I call these things "Smart Time Management" techniques.
Let me show you what I mean with a quick and effective exercise.
Take a look around your work space. Pick out 5 easy to indentify objects in it and ask yourself "Does this support my goal to be better at time management or detract from my goal to be better at time management?"
For each item, if it doesn't support your goal for better time management, get rid of it or otherwise handle it appropriately.
For example, televisions are notorious for their ability to distract a person and also seduce them away from getting tasks accomplished promptly. If you have one in your workspace and can agree that it doesn't support your better time management goals, simply unplug it or better yet, move it to a different room.
Another distraction can be something as simple as a pile of papers on your desk. Clearly they are important because you've "piled" them up on your desk. The real question to ask is whether that pile supports your time management goals or not. When it's time to find something in that pile, chances are you'll have to spend a bit of extra time digging through all the papers to find the one you want. You may even spill the papers on to the floor at some point, causing you to waste time having to pick them all up.
These two examples might seem silly, but you get the point. Eliminating the non-supportive elements in your environment is the first step to creating an environment that supports your goals to be better at time management.
Of course after you remove distractions and non-supportive elements, your next step will be to add elements to your environment that actually support your time management improvement goals. We cover more of that in my other articles.
For additional strategies on "Smart Time Management, be sure you claim your copy of author Michael Adams' exclusive free expert guide for managing your time and multi-million dollar projects at: http://www.smart-time-management.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=M_Adams
Making a Habit of Personal Development
It can be a rather amusing task to sit back and analyze some of the daily rituals we perform, often without giving any conscious thought. I believe this is a good thing because we would accomplish very little if we had to stop and think about every task we perform.
Just today, I was making the short drive from my home to the library where I do most of my writing, when I noticed I had been completely engrossed in thoughts about the book I am writing. I had to look in the back seat to check if I even brought my laptop and writing materials. I then became aware of all of the other things that had to take place just to make this short trip. Among other things, I had to put on my shoes, put on my jacket, walk from the house to the car, unlock the car with the keyless entry, place my bag in the back seat, sit in the driver's seat, fasten my seatbelt, start the car, and so on. The entire time this was happening, my thoughts were directed towards my task for the day.
This got me thinking about some of the other habit patterns in our life that we consciously decide to do without really asking ourselves if the task is really the most important thing on our list. For example, many people choose to watch a number of hours of television each day.
I personally know people who spend an unusual amount of time daily cleaning their home or randomly browsing the internet. The point I am trying to make is that most of us can probably uncover at least one hour of time each day that we give to meaningless tasks.
The interesting thing is, if you ask most people if they are happy with all of the results in their life, the truthful answer is often no.
My goal is to encourage people to dedicate some time every single day to personal reflection and self development. If you are unhappy with a certain situation, you have the ability to change your thinking, and ultimately your behaviour, so that you can improve that particular circumstance. Instead of watching a daytime drama or indulging in excessive dusting and mopping, you might want to consider picking up a book or audio program that forces you to examine your results.
From my personal experience, this simple action produces an internal reaction. Because you are examining your own personal results, you quickly realize that you are the only one who can change them. Unfortunately, in our society today, people are fixated on producing immediate results and having tangible evidence in their hands the minute they ask for something. With personal development, the true benefits can only be realized when we incorporate the ideas into a habit.
Think about it this way. If you were to make a firm commitment to read or listen to personal development educational programs for even 30 minutes a day for the next two weeks, what kind of positive impact could this have on your life? What if you did it for two months? Similar to unconscious activities such as getting dressed or brushing your teeth, you would start to create a new habit and become the kind of person who automatically takes action on ideas that move you in the direction of improved results.
From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that this kind of self study works. It really is a never ending process because it is part of our nature to grow, expand and develop and ultimately, it provides an excellent opportunity to make positive life changes. As you become more involved in personal development, you will start to notice areas of your life that are working well and other areas that require improvement.
This kind of education will help you harness ideas that will improve your results while at the same time, overcome all of the inhibitors standing in the way of you achieving your aim!
A common question I hear is, "Where do I start?" There are so many good authors, philosophies and ideas on this topic that you can never really say which style will work. The best advice I have ever received from this perspective is to study and learn from those who are producing results that you would like in your life. It's a pretty basic lesson but a very important one.
Seek out the people who have already achieved what you would like to achieve and learn from them. Success often leaves clues and it is up to you to find those clues and act on them. With a daily commitment to personal improvement, you will quickly become a master detective you will transform each clue into a tangible action that will lead to a more fulfilled life.
Justin Popovicjustin@igniteyouressence.com
Just today, I was making the short drive from my home to the library where I do most of my writing, when I noticed I had been completely engrossed in thoughts about the book I am writing. I had to look in the back seat to check if I even brought my laptop and writing materials. I then became aware of all of the other things that had to take place just to make this short trip. Among other things, I had to put on my shoes, put on my jacket, walk from the house to the car, unlock the car with the keyless entry, place my bag in the back seat, sit in the driver's seat, fasten my seatbelt, start the car, and so on. The entire time this was happening, my thoughts were directed towards my task for the day.
This got me thinking about some of the other habit patterns in our life that we consciously decide to do without really asking ourselves if the task is really the most important thing on our list. For example, many people choose to watch a number of hours of television each day.
I personally know people who spend an unusual amount of time daily cleaning their home or randomly browsing the internet. The point I am trying to make is that most of us can probably uncover at least one hour of time each day that we give to meaningless tasks.
The interesting thing is, if you ask most people if they are happy with all of the results in their life, the truthful answer is often no.
My goal is to encourage people to dedicate some time every single day to personal reflection and self development. If you are unhappy with a certain situation, you have the ability to change your thinking, and ultimately your behaviour, so that you can improve that particular circumstance. Instead of watching a daytime drama or indulging in excessive dusting and mopping, you might want to consider picking up a book or audio program that forces you to examine your results.
From my personal experience, this simple action produces an internal reaction. Because you are examining your own personal results, you quickly realize that you are the only one who can change them. Unfortunately, in our society today, people are fixated on producing immediate results and having tangible evidence in their hands the minute they ask for something. With personal development, the true benefits can only be realized when we incorporate the ideas into a habit.
Think about it this way. If you were to make a firm commitment to read or listen to personal development educational programs for even 30 minutes a day for the next two weeks, what kind of positive impact could this have on your life? What if you did it for two months? Similar to unconscious activities such as getting dressed or brushing your teeth, you would start to create a new habit and become the kind of person who automatically takes action on ideas that move you in the direction of improved results.
From personal experience, I can attest to the fact that this kind of self study works. It really is a never ending process because it is part of our nature to grow, expand and develop and ultimately, it provides an excellent opportunity to make positive life changes. As you become more involved in personal development, you will start to notice areas of your life that are working well and other areas that require improvement.
This kind of education will help you harness ideas that will improve your results while at the same time, overcome all of the inhibitors standing in the way of you achieving your aim!
A common question I hear is, "Where do I start?" There are so many good authors, philosophies and ideas on this topic that you can never really say which style will work. The best advice I have ever received from this perspective is to study and learn from those who are producing results that you would like in your life. It's a pretty basic lesson but a very important one.
Seek out the people who have already achieved what you would like to achieve and learn from them. Success often leaves clues and it is up to you to find those clues and act on them. With a daily commitment to personal improvement, you will quickly become a master detective you will transform each clue into a tangible action that will lead to a more fulfilled life.
Justin Popovicjustin@igniteyouressence.com
Work Life Balance
Before it even had a name, I was an instinctive practitioner of work/life balance. At a very early age, I decided that it was more important to have a life into which I might fit any number of activities, including a job, than to have a "career," which appeared (to me, anyway) to preclude much of life and its abundant choices. I'm very pleased to tell you I have a wonder-full life without really ever having had a career!
Let's face it, women have held jobs throughout the ages, brought home paychecks and supported families as single-income earners. My grandmother Ellen McNamara was a Rosie the Riveter, and my mother worked from the time she could get working papers until several years before she passed.
Round about the time I graduated college, women were entering the work force in increasingly large numbers. For the purposes of discussion, "workforce" at the time meant those hallowed halls and lavishly appointed boardrooms heretofore the province of professional males, not the workforce of my maternal ancestors. Come to think of it, "workforce" still means that in large measure.
I'm not sure when I made the connection between the appearance of the "worklife balance" issue and the swelling ranks of women in the workforce. I just recall that it wasn't part of most HR Departments consciousness until at least the late 80's, as more and more fast track MBA hires wore navy-blue skirts. When it did appear on HR radar screens, HR was pretty deliberate in naming it work/life, emphasis on the work part first.
As navy-blue bland cedes (finally) to color and individual style, work/life balance as a nice-to-do phrase has begun to yield to life/work balance as a deliberate choice. I hear of and from more and more women questioning the merits of the 24/7 career path, even as they seek their own roads less traveled.
Whatever the merlot-fueled musings, the siren songs of down time, any way you look at it - work/life or life/work - it's the "balance" part of the equation that remains elusive, even as we continue to chase it in the hope of finding it and achieving it. It's not often you hear men speak of finding worklife balance. This issue seems largely to be one for X chromosomes.
In spite of all the heartfelt entreaties to Our Lady of Perpetual Balance, how do you know if or when you've achieved that balance? Well, you don't, really, in part because life and events are never static, and partly because balance itself isn't static.
Have you ever tried tree pose in yoga? The idea is to balance on one foot while the other foot is aligned with your inner knee. To stay upright requires constant movement of the foot on the floor, and one never feels quite balanced. And so it is with work/life balance; one never quite feels it amidst the constant movement of life, so it must not be balance!
Then we foolishly tell ourselves, that if only we work at it more, we'll find that work/life balance. So we add another task on top of all the other tasks that destabilize balance - the task of finding balance! Even if we do manage to achieve balance, it's fleeting. Then the chase begins anew.
How about this: forget about balance and learn to juggle!! I'm happy to report I'm in lifework balance recovery and have taken up life juggling... Cancel the high wire walk, put down the balancing pole and pick up a few juggling balls. Why juggling? Well, juggling is far more forgiving, far more fun, and way more real.
Juggling is also a much more apropos metaphor for our lives. Like us, juggling is imperfect. We've got so many things going on at once, and we're keeping most of our lifeballs in the air even as we refine and deepen our juggling skills. Sure, we're going to drop some balls, but that's part of juggling. We accept it and we keep going, ready to juggle again.
The notion of balance doesn't allow for falls or drops. Balance implies a frozen, graceful perfection few, if any, of us achieve. When we don't get there (wherever there is), we mistakenly believe it's either because we are or aren't doing something right. The quest for balance promotes imbalance.
So, stop trying to balance and start juggling. Juggling is the new balance.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ellen_O'brien
Let's face it, women have held jobs throughout the ages, brought home paychecks and supported families as single-income earners. My grandmother Ellen McNamara was a Rosie the Riveter, and my mother worked from the time she could get working papers until several years before she passed.
Round about the time I graduated college, women were entering the work force in increasingly large numbers. For the purposes of discussion, "workforce" at the time meant those hallowed halls and lavishly appointed boardrooms heretofore the province of professional males, not the workforce of my maternal ancestors. Come to think of it, "workforce" still means that in large measure.
I'm not sure when I made the connection between the appearance of the "worklife balance" issue and the swelling ranks of women in the workforce. I just recall that it wasn't part of most HR Departments consciousness until at least the late 80's, as more and more fast track MBA hires wore navy-blue skirts. When it did appear on HR radar screens, HR was pretty deliberate in naming it work/life, emphasis on the work part first.
As navy-blue bland cedes (finally) to color and individual style, work/life balance as a nice-to-do phrase has begun to yield to life/work balance as a deliberate choice. I hear of and from more and more women questioning the merits of the 24/7 career path, even as they seek their own roads less traveled.
Whatever the merlot-fueled musings, the siren songs of down time, any way you look at it - work/life or life/work - it's the "balance" part of the equation that remains elusive, even as we continue to chase it in the hope of finding it and achieving it. It's not often you hear men speak of finding worklife balance. This issue seems largely to be one for X chromosomes.
In spite of all the heartfelt entreaties to Our Lady of Perpetual Balance, how do you know if or when you've achieved that balance? Well, you don't, really, in part because life and events are never static, and partly because balance itself isn't static.
Have you ever tried tree pose in yoga? The idea is to balance on one foot while the other foot is aligned with your inner knee. To stay upright requires constant movement of the foot on the floor, and one never feels quite balanced. And so it is with work/life balance; one never quite feels it amidst the constant movement of life, so it must not be balance!
Then we foolishly tell ourselves, that if only we work at it more, we'll find that work/life balance. So we add another task on top of all the other tasks that destabilize balance - the task of finding balance! Even if we do manage to achieve balance, it's fleeting. Then the chase begins anew.
How about this: forget about balance and learn to juggle!! I'm happy to report I'm in lifework balance recovery and have taken up life juggling... Cancel the high wire walk, put down the balancing pole and pick up a few juggling balls. Why juggling? Well, juggling is far more forgiving, far more fun, and way more real.
Juggling is also a much more apropos metaphor for our lives. Like us, juggling is imperfect. We've got so many things going on at once, and we're keeping most of our lifeballs in the air even as we refine and deepen our juggling skills. Sure, we're going to drop some balls, but that's part of juggling. We accept it and we keep going, ready to juggle again.
The notion of balance doesn't allow for falls or drops. Balance implies a frozen, graceful perfection few, if any, of us achieve. When we don't get there (wherever there is), we mistakenly believe it's either because we are or aren't doing something right. The quest for balance promotes imbalance.
So, stop trying to balance and start juggling. Juggling is the new balance.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ellen_O'brien
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