How To Have Confidence By Adopting
A Realistic Attitude
If you are struggling with how to have
confidence in your life, you are not alone. Most people think that
self-confidence is something that lucky people have, people who can do anything
and everything.
Part of the problem with confidence is we
think we have to have tons and tons of it and all the time. The reality is,
that not everyone knows how to have confidence in all situations.
Self-confidence is really an attitude a
person has, that allows them to have a positive view of themselves and the
situations life may put them. People with a confident attitude are realistic.
They trust in their own abilities and believe that they will be able to do most
of what they want to do in life. They know they can’t do everything.
To look at how to have confidence you need
to understand that the typical person is always going to have some areas in
their life that they are more confident than others.
You can be very athletic and comfortably
confident in your athletic abilities while not feeling confident when meeting
new people. Chances are you are confident in more ways than you may realize.
The key to discovering a realistic self-confidence is to remove some of the
false beliefs you may have developed.
1. False Belief:
I believe that to be successful in life I
have to be competent in all the important areas of life.
Realistic Belief:
I know that achievement-based thinking is
not the true way to feel worthy. I get some satisfaction when I achieve things
that I set out to do, but I know that failures have nothing to do with my
personal worth. I was born worthy.
2. False Belief:
The past has shown me how to have
confidence in myself or not. My past is my most important guidance-system.
Realistic Belief:
As we grow we don’t have the same
vulnerabilities we did when we were young. You’ve gained some awareness on what
you think should continue to influence you in life. You choose which areas of
the past that you’ll allow to steer the present, but you don’t have to be a
slave to the past.
3. False Belief:
Everybody knows that bad things happen more
than good things. The good things I do can’t be given too much importance with
all the bad. People remember the bad so I should, too. Maybe if I concentrate
hard enough, I’ll have less bad results.
Realistic Belief:
I know that if I win 4 out of 5 times, that
dwelling on the one time I lose and how terrible I feel is not a positive
outlook. I know I can’t win all the time! It’s enough for me to do well at
something most of the time.
I can use how good it feels to win next
time things aren’t falling my way, because I know it’s only a temporary
setback.
Learning how to have confidence has a lot
to do with learning how to have a more realistic attitude towards life’s ups
and downs.
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